One thing you guys don’t know about me is that I actually did have a girlfriend once, it was back in Highschool, it near the end of 2017, I had recently turned 15, and I remember me and this girl would work together and help each other in class, we would get along quite well, when it came to school projects, it felt good working together like normal people, a few weeks later I found out that she had a crush on me, her friends knew this and would ask me questions like do I have feelings for her, I wasn’t sure though, but then whenever I was around her I started feeling very shy, to the very point that I couldn’t make eye contact, nor say a word to her, I wasn’t sure what to do, so I told her friends that I like her, to see what would happen, then later in gym class her friends put me and her in the room full of gym equipment, to talk to each other, but we both so shy that we could hardly talk, it was a full hour of awkward silence, we could barely say a word, I was always so shy when I was around her, I could hardly talk we both decided to become a couple, people called us cute, because we were so shy, because we were so shy we started chatting via messenger, for weeks we would chat this way and it was like the only way of communication, we could barely talk in person, but as I got comfortable being around her, I started to say a few words to her in person, but I was still shy, the Christmas break came, which meant we wouldn’t be able to see each other for 2 months, and this time messaging really was the the only way of communication, we would chat quite alot, and i just wanted to be with her, I started realize that because we were only messaging we weren’t really connecting properly, I just wanted to connect with her in person, but we couldn’t, because we were a long distance during that time, I lost interest because we weren’t connecting in person, so I decided to break up with her on new year’s day of 2018, she talked to me and said she understood. She started talking to me via messaging again, and I saw it as her trying to get back with me, she denied it and I said good, I think she got upset, because she stopped messaging me. When school started again her friends were trying to get me to talk to her, but I politely refused because I was no longer with her anymore, months later I started getting lonely and started to regret breaking up with her and started to develop real feelings for her, but I was too shy to tell her this, these feeling lasted for quite a long time, I had the intention on talking to her, but didn’t even have the balls, in 2019 I dropped out of school, I not only lost contact with her, but I also lost contact with all my friends. I started getting lonely, I started messaging her out of the blue, hoping she would reply, but she didn’t and this would frustrate me, so I started messaging her again and again, I would even leave voicemails hoping she would notice, but she never did, I broke down, and for months I would do the same thing, but she never ever replied, I eventually gave up and in the year 2020 I was so lonely that I didn’t know what to do anymore, I started going on Instagram alot so I didn’t feel so I wouldn’t feel so lonely, but little did I know, I was headed for a downward spiral, in may 2020 I looked at ig models for the first time and a few days later I began masterbating for the first time, little did I know that was the beginning of my addiction. I messaged that girl and this time she actually replied we had started having short conversations, and I would message her any chance I would get, but because I had already started masterbating, I would fit a session in between and I started masterbating more and more until I stopped messaging her for a month and messaged her on her birthday, I was already hooked on PMO by this point, I asked her out via messaging a few days later, but she wasn’t interested anymore, so I decided it was time to move on and I also decided to stop masterbating for a while but there was a problem with that I figured out that I was hooked, because I would keep masterbating no matter how hard I would try, for the first time ever, I realized I was addicted to masterbation, I was the one who got myself in this mess, and that I was going to have to learn to stop masterbating. After months of endless attempts to stop masterbating, I realized that I was not alone and that there’s actually alot of men around the world going through the same thing as I am, since September 2020 ive been doing nofap. Some things ive learned while doing nofap, is that you have got to talk to people face to face, especially if it’s someone you like, because it shows how confident you really are.
That’s some story you have got!!
Atleast you realized how you got into PMO…
We were innocent little boiiss…but some incident in our lives pushed us towards this downward spiral…
Steve Jobs said something about connecting the Dots…and you did that well…connecting your past incidents and deriving how the issue of PMO started.
And now that you are announcing this story to the world…it means…you are slowly overcoming your past…
Now work on that…and eventually, the reason you started PMO will vanish…and then overcoming PMO wont be much of an issue…
Its the source of addiction we have to work on…not the symptoms…if the source is gone…the symptoms will go as well…
I am sure you will find your way!
Best of luck bro!!
Face your true self nice story. Here’s one link for you a nice christian remix
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