I think I'm healing, but

Well a long streak has made me anxious. but I can turn the thoughts off. In bits and pieces I think I can think clearly too. The most important thing is where I can study more effectively than before. And it looks like I’m perpetually frustrated. I can see the path to my goal sometimes but other times I’m blank again.
I’m still weak and still vulnerable. I should be happy with progress but it is not enough. My mind is not calm. I wonder when will this phase end and what to do here. This is a weird phase. Any suggestions on how to cope with it people?

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you don’t understand bro. It’s so hard to trust myself after repeated failures. And now that I’m not failing upto the mark it’s scary. but what can I do?
I can’t sit like this. I have to strive for something better.

what are you asking? Please be specific
I didn’t get it

yes I do. I have to achieve it. But I’m unable to trust myself so far

that’s just a part of it I guess. But I can’t just stop there. I can’t keep myself in the comfort zone like this. I have to grow and become a superior version of myself.
I have to do some things in my life. I have to create a difference around. And looks like it’s an effort of lifetime. But to do that, I have to start my engine.

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Thanks and I’m not looking for an end date either.
I’m not missing out ■■■■ and fapping in my life.
I told you that I have to create a difference
Become stronger, smarter than before
And do things that make a superior human being
It’s less about quitting an addiction and more about facing problems in my life now. And I don’t just want to face them, I want to destroy them. I want to destroy everything that stands in my way.

I’m 23 years old and at a critical phase of my life. And that’s why I’m so desperate

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when the pressure reaches the peak point it does not overwhelm u anymore. It does not scare. It does nothing. When the pressure reaches the peak point you are pumped up and nothing can stop u

I’ve been running away all this time. And I’m tired of running away now. I want to have a full control over me and I want to be fighting no matter whatever the odds are. Unless I don’t break out of that sphere of insecurities and start to face my fear no way I will be what I want to be.

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I told all that because I’ve been there once. I have felt it in my heart. And I’m tired of being sick like this. I just want it back no matter what. Can’t live my life like a pleasure seeking zombie

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yeah it is for the fire. Got to get my engine running somehow

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