Hi guys. I just wanna let ya know my feelings today. I know that no one rally cares but whatever…
So I’m a 18 old guy that try nofap since the 16 or so. Maybe 15? How knows. The point is that at some point i just figured out that i can’t control myself and i can’t stop fapping. Something was wrong with me, i couldn’t stay “sober” not even for 5 hours at these times. (Now day my hormones aren’t too out of control but my addiction keep me in the PMO sicle). But some day i discover the nofap community and, with all of the advices and motivation, i win my first challenge: one month!
Obviously, like any beginner, i relapse just after. But something change in my, my willpower have gotten stronger. So, somehow, i managed to win the 90 days challenge too! But the summer arrived and all these free time… Months of fapping and of just 30 reaches were these. My new school year start and i was able to win again the 90 challenge! I survived longer that summer but i loose at the end… My final high school year arrived and, I DON’T KNOW HOW, i get a new record of 10 months!! (And 3-4 of these were while the pandemic) But some day i was too depressed and relapse…
Since then i have been relapsing over and over. Most of the time i can’t pass a week. My two greatest records since the are one of 31 for the September without fap and one of 37-38 days that finished yesterday. And i don’t even had a day today, cuz i relapse after wrote this… And… Meanwhile… (And after now that i edid…)
I don’t know if is for the pandemic, but this used to be no that hard…
Anyway, the other day i was seeing some nofap motivation videos and in one i hear a good advice about don’t keep nofap a secret. But i didn’t have that much people that i can trust or at least people that can understand this… I just tell a friend once and the result was counterproductive cuz she just keep telling me that i should fap because “it is natural an so” you know shit reasons. And also tell other people without my consent; and you know how that end…
But, i still wanna follow that advice, so i remember that this app has a forum so here we are. I always see how people struggle with PMO addiction exposes his problems in a comment in YT or in a forum or in redit and receive very good advices, i hope there are no exception for me… Cuz i really need them, i don’t want to worry no one, but if i don’t archive this… I probably… Suicide…
Wow… Man… That was some touching story. You made it to 10 months!!!.. Wow you are awesome … Very few people have reached that high a streak. Also, you reached 90 days twice… With these accomplishments, why are you feeling low?
My highest streak is just 63 days and im on day 49.
I know this feeling. I had this feeling. When you feel like all hope is lost. But i also know that its just an expression. No one will actually take their own life life if they fail to stay away from PMO. Come one, only a coward and stupid person will do that. And you are neither a coward nor a stupid person.
YOU HEAR THAT!!!. THERE ARE PEOPLE WITH SHITTIER LIFE THAN YOU AND THEY ARE SMILING. NEVER THINKING ABOUT SUICIDE. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO THINK THIS LOW!!!
We all care here. We all are in the same boat, prisoners of the same enemy. We know how the other person feels because we feel exactly the same!!!.
We care about you and your story. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Look bro, you have to try again. You have to keep trying to quit this habit. Doesnt matter how many relapses it takes you, but one day you will succeed. Because, YOU ARE NOT A LOSER IF YOU RELAPSE, YOU ARE A LOSER IF YOU QUIT TRYING AGAIN.
Im on day 49 and really believe i can quit. People have reached 1000 days, why cant you?. Im copy pasting some tips below that really help me.
Also, read the easy peasy way book. Its is a magical book that will make you a master of quitting PMO. You will reach higher streaks after reading the book and also wont relapse like you did after 10 months. Btw, 10 months, WOW!!!.
Stay strong bro . You are not alone. We are all together in this.
These are some points I have learned in my journey from experience and from other amazing companions.
POINT 1. Just avoid visual and auditory i.e. ALL TRIGGER. Stay the hell away from screen, social media and movies (also series and animes). Don’t check out girls or opposite gender.
POINT 2. Stay busy to defeat physical urges. Don’t fight the urges, it will get powerful if we concentrate on it. Staying busy is the ultimate weapon to defeat horniness. Staying busy for a lifelong goal and dream is better. Follow a routine. Don’t divert from it.
POINT 3. Never fantasize. If a sexual though comes, just focus on something else. It just takes 5 seconds to redirect to a new thought. Entertaining a thought will increase its power and make you more horny and create powerful urges. So focus on something else.
POINT 4. Don’t touch your privates ever. Don’t put your hands in the pants. NO Touching!!!
POINT 5. Remember your horrible feelings after EVERY. SINGLE. RELAPSE!!!. No porn will satisfy you. No masturbation will make you happy. PMO will not decrease your stress. It will not relax you. You don’t need PMO to feel good. You don’t want PMO anymore. YOU ARE NOT ATTRACTED BY PMO ANYMORE. YOU VIEW PMO AS DISGUSTING, HORRIBLE AND VOMIT PRODUCING. YOUR PAST IS PAST. NOW YOU ARE A NEW AND BETTER PERSON. AND YOU WILL NEVER EVER GO BACK TO THAT CRAP!!!.
After breaking from the conscious mental attraction of PMO, now just take a cold shower or put cold water on your privates (if you know for sure you won’t touch yourself). Then stay busy in your task. Or take a walk, socialize, eat or drink something and exercise.
Practice these 5 points. Make it a habit and you will NEVER relapse!!!
Congratulations, you just avoided and defused a relapse. You are getting better at this. SOON , YOU WILL ACHIEVE HIGHER STREAKS AND BREAK FREE !!!. MAN, YOU are SIMPLY AWESOME
You don’t have to worry, man. Everytine you fail, try again. Continue to fail, till you become a success story. There are no shortcuts to it. You have achieved long streaks in the past, which is very commendable. From your fapping pattern, what I can observe is you cannot bear aloofness and idleness, and these are the major reasons for your relapses , in my opinion. Its specifically tough now, due to pandemic. So, make a routine and try to follow it. Even then, if you cannot control it, then simply fap but without any visual trigger. Once you’ll get over this habit of peeking, beating the habit of fapping will become much more easier and you’ll be able to control it in even adverse situation. Remember that you are only truly successful, if you can continue to be the same in both elation and adversity. And you can do that. Trust yourself. Don’t give in.
Thank you, make me feel better about my greatest record. Tbh most the time when i remember it, i just think “If only i have archive 2 months more” cuz my goal, and motivation against the urges in hard times, was a year.
Well, what make me feel low is that, apparently, i can’t reach them again.
I even have tried blockers for the first time between November and December, i think. But everyone that have used them know that they aren’t a very good idea.
Thank you man, i needed hear that…
Thanks again. If you wanna my advice, a advice that i should start to follow too, a dopamine detox one time at month helps a lot. When i leave it was when i start having problems. Also: Connect with people it’s also very helpful too and i think was the key of my success. You know? I used to be a very shy guy. But when i started my journey i was so determined to be my better self that i start socializing. Even with at least one unknown per day. These things + the female attraction make me, in a positive way, addict to nofap.
But unfortunately, i can’t practice them any more. I got a lot of friends, but i only had contact with a few of them, i asked some to go out sometime, but they declined cuz the pandemic. (And one cuz she didn’t want to see me) Just one say yes, so, i did go to her house and had long chats with her a couple of times, but cause of a stupid discussion that we had; we don’t talk each other anymore… Well summarizing, i feel loneliness most the time.
Also thanks a lot again for everything. I will check that book later. Good night bro. Btw about a hour ago i reached day one.
1 year is a good goal, but 10 months is not bad too. Also, experts say 2 year goal is better than 1 year goal. So you can now set a 2 year goal as a final goal and break it into smaller goals.
Yes, that can be frustrating. I understand. But learning from our success is as important as learning from our mistakes. So you should try to analyse and apply your previous strategy. If its not possible then you can improvise.
Mention not bro
Yes, dopamine detox is very helpful to rewire your brain. It makes ordinary things more amazing. Im currently on 36th day of moderate dopamine detox. Time to up the game.
A person can feel lonely when alone. A person can be lonely even with people.
So you can be alone but happy. Dont worry about other people. You must try to socialize but being alone is okay too. Loneliness can be cured just by changing the mindset. Stars are so far apart and alone. But they shine the brightest. Be like a star.
That’s awesome, one day has changed to day one. Soon this will change to 10 days then 30, 50, 90, 120, 365 and then 2 years.
Best of luck for your journey of self mastery
Well, in fact, i do have one. And it’s great for keep mee busy like you say, but when u do your routine and even so, relapse at the end, it’s feels wrong, but multiplied for 100… Especially when that routine implicates exercises, cuz you know your gains are lost at the other day.
I’ve tried this a cople of times, but my addict brain always wanna a stimulus, so i always end seeing p when i tried this.
Thank you man. U words are very inspirational. I hope remember them in hard times. Good luck in your journey too.