Wow… Man… That was some touching story. You made it to 10 months!!!.. Wow you are awesome 
… Very few people have reached that high a streak. Also, you reached 90 days twice… With these accomplishments, why are you feeling low?
My highest streak is just 63 days and im on day 49.
I know this feeling. I had this feeling. When you feel like all hope is lost. But i also know that its just an expression. No one will actually take their own life life if they fail to stay away from PMO. Come one, only a coward and stupid person will do that. And you are neither a coward nor a stupid person.
YOU HEAR THAT!!!. THERE ARE PEOPLE WITH SHITTIER LIFE THAN YOU AND THEY ARE SMILING. NEVER THINKING ABOUT SUICIDE. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO THINK THIS LOW!!!
We all care here. We all are in the same boat, prisoners of the same enemy. We know how the other person feels because we feel exactly the same!!!.
We care about you and your story. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Look bro, you have to try again. You have to keep trying to quit this habit. Doesnt matter how many relapses it takes you, but one day you will succeed. Because, YOU ARE NOT A LOSER IF YOU RELAPSE, YOU ARE A LOSER IF YOU QUIT TRYING AGAIN.
Im on day 49 and really believe i can quit. People have reached 1000 days, why cant you?. Im copy pasting some tips below that really help me.
Also, read the easy peasy way book. Its is a magical book that will make you a master of quitting PMO. You will reach higher streaks after reading the book and also wont relapse like you did after 10 months. Btw, 10 months, WOW!!!.
(ง’̀-'́)ง
Stay strong bro 
. You are not alone. We are all together in this.
Link to the book.