The last 2 months I had huge troubles motivating me for nofap. I knew that I don’t wanna watch porn but I didn’t really see why watching porn is terrible while watching Youtube is okay. Or doing sports to prevent an urge
The problem I have is not porn. I have no PIED, I have no social anxieties induces by porn, i have good job, a girlfriend. In fact, (i know people will hate me for that but continue to read, I will solve it) there is no tremendous damage for anymore me by porn itself. Don’t get me wrong. I had all these porn induced side effect at the beginning. But currently, I’m relapsing every one or two weeks. So, the negative side effects are very minimal. (no, I’m not saying porn is good. Just saying that the influence of these pictures is not as big anymore)
The last 2 months I saw that I’m just not able to quit porn completely. And the problem is, that I never stopped self-medication.
Instead of watching porn, I watched youtube, and twitch and it was relaxing because it basically gave me the same as porn did. It distracted me from my problems. So, some of you say: yea that’s exactly why I don’t watch youtube. But people in this forum are very creative and find different sources of numbing the pain. I hear it way too often in this forum without people knowing that they are doing the exact same thing!
How often do you read, keep yourself busy. Don’t allow time for any negative thoughts, or no time for boredom? That is exactly what I call self-medication. We have a problem which is why we wanna watch porn. To get distracted, so that we don’t have to address the problems we have. As long as we start running away, we will never be free of addictions!
Take this advice which you will see popping up at least once a week in this forum:
- You have an urge to watch porn. To prevent yourself from relapsing, some people here suggest to do a workout until you are completely exhausted and your body is burning. That basically says, that at the end of the workout you will have a pain (exhaustion) which is bigger than the urge. This means that our brain gives the new pain priority. But in long term this is just as bad as giving in to the urge.
You can analyze different advice: I saw things like cut or squeeze you dick until it hurts. Take a cold shower, do pushups. All these things are doing one single thing. They inflict a pain larger than the mental pain which forces us to watch porn.
Sure they prevent you from watching porn. But they don’t help you at all.
This would be the same as when you say your feet are hurting and as a solution you smack your head against a wall. You will definitely not feel the pain of your feet anymore afterwards. But that didn’t solve the problem. As soon as the headache fades, your feet will start hurting again.
So, my concept now is: NO SELF-MEDICATION
- I practice mindfulness, so that I learn to listen to the problems of my body and soul. Like this, I can understand my problems and find the perfect way to deal with them. Being aware of my body helps me to understand in which situations I try to flee from reality. Sometimes watching youtube is not bad. It is pretty relaxing and can lead to interesting topics. But sometimes it is just for selfmedication. The important ability we have to gain is to differentiate between these two.
- my counter still counts my days of porn. Because that is what I owe my girlfriend. I don’t wanna look at other girls.