It’s everything. The problems. These fake friends. I thought it was worth it, but I was wrong. I looked through peoples comments, and got excited. They promised false things that felt so intense. I was so close of joining them in their wicked ways. But then… I relapsed…
What you thought I was thinking about quitting NoFap? Absolutely not!
I’m quitting fap.
You see, yesterday morning, I made the mistake of peeking. I searched an old email and found comments on reddit about “friends” with benefits. And what I saw sounded very promising.
I was looking to do something with someone thinking it was just peeking a bit, no big deal.
But I messed up, and regret is what came to me.
A relapse is usually devastating, but yesterday was worse. I realized something…
After I had done it, I felt as if I lost a child. The emission I had, felt like a life that had gone away. And that tore me apart. I realized this is worse than I thought. While I do not have a girlfriend as of today. I should act as if I did have one. Because she is out there somewhere and she would not want me to be in this filthy life style known as fapping. I’m sorry…
I need to change.
Today, I quit with fapping. Usually it was due to fear at times or stress that made me want to seek temporary pleasure.
“Who buys a minute’s mirth to wail a week? Or sell eternity to get a toy? For one grape who will the vine destroy?”
- William Shakespeare
I decided this journey is going to be much harder than I expect. But I’m willing to commit. No matter what. To overcome this.
Would like to thank @Taher for creating this application to help people. It has been so much easier knowing I have support and brothers like @Ash_Matt @JonSnow001 and others as well.
The inspiration I get from all their stories is wonderful. And I would like to thank all of you guys. I started reading a book @Bashi suggested.
“The Easy Peasy Book”
Honestly, it seemed to work. But I stopped reading after a couple pages thinking “I want to read this when I’m ready” (which now I know meant, I wasnt ready to stop relapsing. Which bte bashi if you read this, it was due to some fears, mainly of just what happens to me if I stopped but leaked or something during my journey. Really hard to explain but perhaps you know the feeling.)
I didn’t want to change because I liked the temporary pleasure. I was seeking for someone to fill the void inside, but I knew if I went down the wrong path it may not end well. So I’m changing.
For my future significant other…
Most sorry if I did not explain this correctly, but I hope it helped anyone else struggling. To show you, that you have to quit. Full 100%. Cold turkey.
I know some people might say you dont have to go “full hardcore mode” but even 1 grain of evil can sprout into a disaster.
Anyway, will update on my journey some time today. Thanks for reading.