I quit... and for a good reason

It’s everything. The problems. These fake friends. I thought it was worth it, but I was wrong. I looked through peoples comments, and got excited. They promised false things that felt so intense. I was so close of joining them in their wicked ways. But then… I relapsed…
What you thought I was thinking about quitting NoFap? Absolutely not!
I’m quitting fap.
You see, yesterday morning, I made the mistake of peeking. I searched an old email and found comments on reddit about “friends” with benefits. And what I saw sounded very promising.
I was looking to do something with someone thinking it was just peeking a bit, no big deal.
But I messed up, and regret is what came to me.
A relapse is usually devastating, but yesterday was worse. I realized something…
After I had done it, I felt as if I lost a child. The emission I had, felt like a life that had gone away. And that tore me apart. I realized this is worse than I thought. While I do not have a girlfriend as of today. I should act as if I did have one. Because she is out there somewhere and she would not want me to be in this filthy life style known as fapping. I’m sorry…
I need to change.

Today, I quit with fapping. Usually it was due to fear at times or stress that made me want to seek temporary pleasure.
“Who buys a minute’s mirth to wail a week? Or sell eternity to get a toy? For one grape who will the vine destroy?”

  • William Shakespeare

I decided this journey is going to be much harder than I expect. But I’m willing to commit. No matter what. To overcome this.
Would like to thank @Taher for creating this application to help people. It has been so much easier knowing I have support and brothers like @Ash_Matt @JonSnow001 and others as well.
The inspiration I get from all their stories is wonderful. And I would like to thank all of you guys. I started reading a book @Bashi suggested.
“The Easy Peasy Book”
Honestly, it seemed to work. But I stopped reading after a couple pages thinking “I want to read this when I’m ready” (which now I know meant, I wasnt ready to stop relapsing. Which bte bashi if you read this, it was due to some fears, mainly of just what happens to me if I stopped but leaked or something during my journey. Really hard to explain but perhaps you know the feeling.)
I didn’t want to change because I liked the temporary pleasure. I was seeking for someone to fill the void inside, but I knew if I went down the wrong path it may not end well. So I’m changing.
For my future significant other…

Most sorry if I did not explain this correctly, but I hope it helped anyone else struggling. To show you, that you have to quit. Full 100%. Cold turkey.
I know some people might say you dont have to go “full hardcore mode” but even 1 grain of evil can sprout into a disaster.
Anyway, will update on my journey some time today. Thanks for reading.

  • Yitzchak

Honestly, I do not know how to go about this. Paranoia had tried to overcome me before, and I’m struggling to do anything which leads to stress which leads to error.

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What caused my error yesterday, was the fact I kept thinking about it. For 6 days I try to do a lot of work, but I left Saturday off for religious reasons as a day of rest.
But friday night, I kept thinking i have nothing to do and that lead to the start of these thoughts.
I have to work on that. Saturday is a great day to do the righteous thing.

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I want to be productive this week, but all in my mind is the error I made yesterday and the fear that goes along with it.

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Keeping urges in check on a Sabbath is gonna be difficult since there isn’t much to do. But you can try meditation and prayer. Reserve the day for spiritual growth. Grind the rest of the six days like it means everything to you. And it should. Cold turkey is a very difficult process, you slack you lose. All the best bro! Keep at it!

Thank you @GOVIND-19
I agree, that is a very challenging time. Especially since the enemy is at works and always wants to take that joyful day away from me. I will do my best and with the Lord’s help. Overcome this.
Thank you brother.

@Yitzchak Remember 1 John 1:9
We are with you brother. Keep going.

Agreed @Ash_Matt
I have a lot of verses to remember haha but that one I’ll definitely keep.

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