This is my first time that I talk here so excuse me that my way not very motivated but i’ll be happy to talk about … I put myself to confess outloud but I realize that’s not enough … so I want to talk
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I don’t want to be this issue I want to be good AdIOZ thanks for your replying and let me say that one of Things that push me to stop is to have the opportunity to help others because that’s enough for my soul I want to believe (pure )
Thanks again
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**My story because I’m brave **
When my body change I do this with girls I was very happy it’s make me in the sky … to fell like drugs but it’s very relax thank God that I don’t
try the thing makes me … I don’t know … the thing that I can’t push myself to stop and come here to find fine companies
So , when the other side stop and we choose to stop doing this habbit and I do masterbation to myself without listening from somebody before about this I was I guess at 16 years old
I feel peacefully , clammy
When I was doing this I do it because I’m angry from somebody or something bad happened and I can’t understand or survive from masterbation this defect between comfort and pain but what I 'm sure about this now that it was a revenge from myself because I don’t like me and I say blabla bla about not carying from my family and others but now I can tell you and there is any reason to put yourself in this trach
My need started to be bigger than just doing so I sough help by videos sexual … at first it was simple videos andmy needs getting bigger
so I gave up for this videos and doing my masterbation with animalally sometimes I cried before or after masterbation
And no one can listen
Believe me reader that I don’t give myself a mercy
I stop masterbation but when I knowing about addiction habbit this was in 25 years old not from a big time
At last time I want to know that this masterbation not stopped only videos but I know about sex chat only hot words … alphabetics can make me excited … this chat was not too much I came back when all things around me stagnant
What this hell that you are doing to myself
I will tell you what makes me this decision to come here to delete all the videos to find to myself the best because I deserve
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**when the castrophy happened **
From 5 days ago , I know someone but I don’t talking about bad things and I let him with bad attitude ( I close on his face ) because I don’t want to feel more about my body this hell masterbation or maybe it’s something that girls do to feel loyalty from the other side
Anyway … the next two days I feel crazy , I don’t do anything just searching for him … when I don’t decrease my passion of masterbation I do this to me … by craziness … like I said before with revenge but I don’t know from why or what … I just want to feel calm
But my body in this 2 days perish
Because I never stop I desided to be this bad and to satisfied a little
This pain I can’t forget it
At the second day I 'm done but I feel a hardely pain and I want more and there are not anything
I really want to cry now about my feeling … but let me finish I don’t give up to confess
I see the guy that I want to talk before finally I started to say I miss you how do you can let me … and blablablaaa
I don’t or saying this before to any guy I just want to believe that someone can take care of me to tell me love words … why not ?! And I have to say my feelings
But this guy asked me to talk on Skype and after lots of urgency I do this … we talk and
Finally , he open the camera on …
I can’t handle this photo from my memory
Everything are appeared without any mercy
I 'm sorry I have to stop now rightting and I’m thankfully about my confess
I 'll not masterbate now I just will choose to enjoy at night I will tell you I did to
All right
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Just listen
and that’s will be good for me ADIOZ thanks for telling me that I’m strong … I listen that from someone let me go from his life I know that I’m strong and I will improve this be give myself this mercy , but do you know we don’t have to be strong because weakness is good hahahahahah yes because without feeling this weak I will not have the chance to find myself now … my problem is that I don’t want to give up .
I just to believe that I’m this amusement for myself
I 'll be 
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Thank God that let me to focus on my habits but I don’t know I can’t do it because I want to do it
My mistake is at the no night
But I 'll pray to pass my first day
Thanks for your kindness
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