Hello , i have been trying nofap since 4 months.
My highest streak was 34 but i did edging in that period . Before that the highest streak was 15 days where i felt good because i havent edged in that period .
When i started it i was very much motivated and had strong reasons to do it but eventually i lost my motivation and i started relapsing a lot that before. Since i have started this journey , i think my thoughts have become more negative , i am feeling insecurities , i am depressed , loss of energy , confidence . When i relapse i do it more often than before feel worse after doing it ( this feeling was not there before journey ) . I think i am more addicted to porn ( or concerned ) now. Is it normal . Is this journey really worth it . To be honest i do have strong reasons for doing this but lately i feel it is geeting more and more worst than before .why do i have negative thoughts about myself now which were never there . And also why i am into more and more or to be honest …only into fetish porn only now ? Which was not there before .
Is it really worth it …because last few months are the worst months of my life …even had sucidal thoughts multiple times .
And one more thing …lately i am drinking and smoking too much ? Does it affect the journey ?
Please help me
Well @nil005 this journey is way worth it!
I can testify to this. When I restarted from day 138 as you might have read since you were part of my challenge. Anyways if you read the article on my relapse I mentioned the healing of it.
I have better morning woods, this starts my day of well with major confidence. My orgasm was amazing and the overall ejaculation quantity and quality was the best I ever had. Surely for fixing your body in a sexual way I will say it is totally worth it.
As for porn. I don’t need it. I don’t have to be looking over my shoulder when using any of my devices and don’t feel guilty should anyone lone my phone to see I watched porn if they clicked on my browser where I didn’t close the sites tab.
I could also do more as I could watch tutorials or how stuff works or being built and also focus more on reaching my goals without having a one track mind built around when I am going to watch again.( Perfect environment for being a student.
Also depression might come from feeling unsatisfied with the constant fapping and porn since you don’t experience sexual pleasure and don’t satisfy your real need for sex. Also you might indirectly compare your own body to the other guys body or member and feel your body will not satisfy your partner or you feel bad about your own body.
The thing is you might feel guilty relapsing (by masterbation) so rather do porn only, but with all the urges lead to relapse and feel terrible as you don’t want to upset or let us down in the forum.
We all experienced that the journey has its ups and downs but it has more ups than downs. Don’t give up!!
Good luck and stay strong and awesome!!
I think yes . May be lately ive been relating everything with my porn addiction . But i get it now , may be relapsing again and again is making me feel negative about myself.
So you guys agree that porn does affect ones mental health , will power.
Yes of course it does on many diffrent levels.
Porn while being an addiction like I mentioned it plays Psychological games with you. Like how you judge your body. I mentioned in another post it could make you prone in being a child molester or rapist in some degree as sex is the only thing you keep your head busy with.
You might not gain control of an urge in a situation with a child or girl and might do something you regret.
The other thing is sex won’t satisfy you as you run after fantasies rather than the real thing. So if you have a wife or girl you might feel less desireable to have sex with them. Sometimes porn desensitize you towards real sex and being in a relationship could be hard as porn desensitized you towards sex or might have changed your sexuality being bi, gay or A-sexual and you wouldn’t feel happy about having sex and be pleased in your need for sex. So it would be a sad life… Also not to pleasure your wife and yourself in being satisfactory for each other it will never work to be in a loveless relationship.
Mind, body, and path. Those 3 are definitely linked. You need to be on a right meaningful path to have the long term motivation to take care of your mind and body, and you also need the right mindset and a healthy body to keep walking the path and never give up.
Your drinking and smoking is for sure affecting your progress, and when you cut down on those, you mind will get more positive and your body will feel better, giving you more willpower and strength to stay true to your path.
But remember, for some people, the process will be 2 steps forward, 1 step backwards, and that’s ok, as long as you don’t give up, you will get to where you want to be.
Be firm with yourself, but don’t be harsh
Acknowledge that it is a difficult process and there will be setbacks, especially in the beginning, but also know that if you keep going, you will get there.
Thats worse my friend, like pouring petrol on fire.
I would suggest to start with smaller goal and ascend towards bigger. Besh the goals into chunks.
Can you leave smoking and drinking?
Well, I missed your question at the end of drinking and smoking. 
Well they both damage your health for one. Your lungs(from smoking) and also liver and kidneys get affected by alcohol.
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Drinking too much makes you unable to think actively as you might fap and don’t even know about it or just don’t care for your nofap journey.
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Super bad time wasters. Smoking is bad for being productive as it gives you time to break away from work so not really good if you have goals in mind. If you are going to need a smoke break every 30mins or so just to smoke then this can effect you big time. Cause you might think a it is just 5 mins. Your smoke break can last maybe 15 mins.
If you walked to a dedicated smoking area, smoke and chat with others it eats your time and then obviously the time you used to walk to the area back will obviously be needed again.
Same with drinking too much and hangovers are a bitch. Long recovery time from it and also this makes you feel sick and don’t really unproductive at first stages.
Like mentioned it is worse for you too and one thing more is that alcohol can also effect your erections too.
@nil005
The things that u r facing are same as what I’m facing
When I started this journey
Few weeks I would focus on small goals and would be very rejoiced with it
But since I know that I can achieve small streaks
The motivation is gone
I cant be happy unless I beat my previous records
And as u said
When I relapse
I tend to mastru**** atleast 3 to 4 times b4 starting again
And now I couldnt even complete 7 days
It’s like a chaser effect
Also the fetish thing
Everything that u said is happening with me as well
So what I’m doing is
I downloaded bulldog blocker app
And put my gf s number
And set it
Now unless I get access to the pin sent directly by the app to my gf s number through SMS
I can uninstall
And unless I dont uninstall
I cant view any of those content
So minimum exposure as no matter what u type this app shows u clean content only ( I have tried to surpass this app but couldnt )
And I’m in long distance so I myself cant access her phone and she knowing about my addiction will never tell me the pin
Also
Meditation and exercises are very very very important
I have seen a pattern in my relapse
If I didnt exercise for 2 or 3 days continuously
I tend to relapse
So check what is ur pattern and try to overcome that
If u r already exercising good
Then star doing yoga and meditation
If confused what to exercise
Check out a topic started by me
Exercise challenge
I know it’s difficult as I’m trying to overcome this
But during the days I didnt mastruba** or watch po**
I was clear and was happy
But on relapsing I lost all of these
So this journey is worth it
But we need constant motivation
And we can do it together ( if u dont mind )
So my suggestions
Find some 1 accountable whose phone u cant access and set their number for pin on bulldog blocker app
Exercise +yoga+pranayam+meditation compulsory everyday
For a change u may substitute yoga +exercise with cycling weekly one day
Also going to temple / church / mosque everyday helps in building positivity
And we need to keep this thing in mind
We can reverse the effects of porn
We can change the fetishes which were bought by us by porn
We can overcome this addiction
Any help
Message me
Companion code : x80f94
I hope I was able to help u
@DARSHAN2017
Yes i do exersise , but i have not started meditation . I will definatly try meaditation and using porn blocker as u said . Thanks
@Cubenix
Yes i know ablut the bad effects of those happits and how they affect my journey .
I am limiting those habbits too now .