I’ve been trying to avoid talking about NoFap for a while because the general idea of it I don’t agree with. I agree with self-improvement, but I’m fapping a lot. I stopped updating my counter, and while that’s a blessing it’s also a curse. It’s making me feel comfortable with my sin, but I hate it every time I fail. I’ve let down God, I’ve let down my friends, I’ve let down my girlfriend, and I’ve let down myself. As I’m sitting here typing I’m trying to act like someone I’m not right now. I’m on a call with my cousins and I’m trying to be my normal, happy, self. I want you to give it to me and give it to me straight. What do I do? And don’t tell me to count my days because I think we both know a number isn’t helping me. Where do I find motivation when I don’t even want to worship God? The creator of everything. If his power isn’t inflicting fear into me then I don’t know what will. I want to be the best version of myself. What do I do?
Hey, I am also a Christian. You have not let God down. God is aware that it takes time for us to grow as Christians. Are parents embarrassed that their baby can’t walk, or that their infant can’t spell? Of course not. They are proud. They know that growth will come with time. (I got that from Max Lucado, I was reading one of his books). Whatever the case, the only person you are letting down is you. Everyone else who is not in the trap should be feeling pity for you. If not, then they don’t understand the depth of your situation. It’s hard to see it while you are still in the trap, but you’re poisoning yourself and thinking it’s a cure. You are lusting for something that you don’t want and absolutely hate. It doesn’t make any sense, but it is impossible to reason with the little porn monster inside you. You need tao change your mindset. I would advise listening to the Easy Peasy Way again from start to finish. I listen to it every evening for about 30 minutes. Get it clear in your head that you are not a PMOer. You are a NoFapper. NoFap is a good thing. There are many Christians that do NoFap, and I pity those that don’t. Those that don’t do NoFap and haven’t heard of Easy Peasy are more likely to fall into the trap. I don’t know what about NoFap you disagree with, but I know you know it’s better than porn.
You say the counter isn’t helping you, but it can if you use it properly. Just use the number as motivation. If you make it 2 days, don’t say “ughh only 2 days, I wish it were longer.” Just say, “Yippee, I’m 2 days free!” Just be positive and don’t let the little monster trick you. If you have a feeling of doom and gloom, you will relapse. I know from experience. And it is mentioned in Easy Peasy. Also if you ever sort of half relapse (which happens to me all the time), I wouldn’t count it. Just keep your streak. I know what it feels like to think, man I sort of edged a little bit or looked at that girl a little too long, but it’s not technically a relapse. These automatic queues will eventually disappear the higher that counter goes. Just trust your gut and reset the counter if you genuinely think you relapsed. I really don’t count a relapse unless I ejaculate or look up images of women. I find it much easier to control whether or not I look up an image. I just have a strict boundary, like if I press enter, even though its not naked women, so its technically, not porn, it is still a relapse. That way I don’t give in to just one little peek. It is impossible for me to do M without looking at some lustful image that day. So just don’t press enter. Be glad and proud that you no longer want that dose of poison that will do nothing but grease your neural waterslides.
And don’t create a forbidden fruit feeling either. You will learn more about that if you read Easy Peasy. I look at incognito mode every day. But I’m not tempted to look up inappropriate stuff. I know that I don’t want to do that. It is the last thing I want to do. In fact, I go in incognito mode to look up the Easy Peasy Way. When I uaes to have blockers, I unknowingly gave myself the dorbidden fruit syndrome. I kept getting past the blockers and I would relapse 10x more often. But now I’m giving myself a choice. I have the option to look up erotic stuff. I simply do not want to.
You said where do you find motivation even if you don’t want to worship God? Then go worship God! I know it sounds stupid, like saying the homeless people should go buy houses, but it’s true. It works. I know it can be hard, but motivation is something we all struggle with, regardless of our current conditions. You see, I look at motivation this way, it is a cycle. There are three parts to the cycle: motivation, action, and inspiration. Motivation makes you take action, which inspires you to find other motivations. It is a wheel that you have to get turning. So the first step and the easiest one to take is action. Get up and do something that you want to do, but feel to lazy to do. Make your bed, take a shower, read a book, eat breakfast. Whatever it is you don’t feel motivated to do, just try doing it. Eventually, you will get in a habit of doing things and not procrastinating. You will be inspired. It just takes time. You won’t immediately feel motivated, but at least you are trying something. Go to church, hang out with friends, do a short 5 minute workout, and find tour own way to get that ball rolling
You said you are pretending to be someone you’re not. Don’t. If you are sad, then be sad. No one has ever cried without feeling better afterwards. It is natural. However, you don’t need to feel sad. Jesus forgives you. And don’t worry about telling everyone else why you’re sad. They don’t even need to know, and it’s okay to keep a secret. You don’t need to be sad, though. Read The Easy Peasy Way and free yourself from that mindset. Remember, you should be proud that you are a NoFapper. Proud that you are trying. If you relapse, learn from it. But keep smiling. Just take it one day at a time. Try to make it through the day without relapsing. And then the next day. That’s what I do, and it’s been working so far. I used to have the same mindset as you. I thought I was letting everyone down. But really, I just needed to cheer up.
Now go and sin no more. But remember Easy Peasy! Study it, maybe even more than the bible. Memorize it. God is happy that you are taking ateps to improve your life and resist temptation. You should still read the Bible though, there is lots of brilliant stuff in there. In fact, that part where I said to take it one day at a time comes from the Bible. There is a verse that says, don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have its own troubles. Idk id thats exactly what it said, but I think you get the poimt. God made you. He knows your struggles, your feelings, your ins and outs. He just wants you to forgive yourself and try again. He knows what it is like to be tempted, and he knows how hard it is. He wants to guide you in the right path. So just trust God, the Easy Peasy Way, and take it one day at a time. You will see improvement. You might still relapse, but don’t be scared of it. That just creates the forbidden fruit effect. Just say, Yippee I’m glad to be free, and I don’t want to relapse!
This took me so long to write, and it probably took you a while to read. I hope it helps though. I’m praying for you, and I want you to know that I can relate to you. I’ve been there. Now go be awesome! The fact that you are here shows you care about your life, and you are taking the steps in the right direction.
Man, i would say, the feeling of guilt or the shame or the urge that you need to stop this, is coming from heavenly soul.
Please do listen to it.
Easy way you can get out from this rabbit hole is through
Take 1 day at a time. Just today. (Nothing extra)
Now break down today into (now).
Like for the next 1 hour you will not be distracted. Something along this line.
DO NOT RATIONALIZE with yourself.
Believe in the words coming from the depth of your soul.
From a daily fapper twice a day, I had a streak of 325 days once, and now having a streak of 45 days. I understand what you might be going through brother.
We are all there to help as much as we can brother.
We believe in you man. .
Let’s challenge each other. Say what??.
Add me -daaf29 , and also kindly share your code.
My english is very bad and limited. Sorry, but I’ll try. Let’s see…
Have you ever pray to God as you would do to a person who you could deposite unrestricted confidence and certain to receive mercy, grace and unconditional love? Have you ever pray to God revealing all of your true thoughts, fears, doubts and feelings, as you did here? Have you ever pray to God asking for his “mercyfull” (this is important) correction? Have you ever pray to God asking for true repentance? Have you ever pray to God asking for the transformation of your heart? Have you ever pray to God asking for a heart fully offered to Him?
Yesterday (14/07) was my anniversary, 34 years old (!). Seven months ago I believe that God talked to me through his Word (Holy Bible), revealing me the urgency of true commitment with the sacrifice of his Son. Hard words…
That came after I prayed to Him exposing my self and my need of help to love Him of all my heart, after I asked Him for true repentance because I couldn’t take anymore asking for forgiveness and falling back into the same sins again and again.
After I saw my sins, I believe, as revealed by him, all I’m doing since then is calling for forgiveness and faith to believe in this, that my sins was thrown into the sea of oblivion and my soul was washed by the holy blood of Christ, Who presents me justified by His own and exclusive merits to the Holy presence of the Father.
I cannot tell you that it’s all right now, in this period I have sinned a few times, but incomparable less times (a first after 4 months - 1; a second after 7 or 15 days - 3; and a third, 6 days ago, after 60 days, 2 - I’m not saying that it’s acceptable or ok). I did not stayed layed on the floor as before. I’m fighting and, somehow, now I believe that I’m not doing this just by my self. I believe and I hope that the Holy Spirit is guiding me.
You need your own experience with God and to do this you need to search for Him, in His Word and in yours prays to Him. Do this, sincerely, revealing this words and feelings that you talked about here. Do that and do it again, and again, and again, as you figth with your flesh.
Despite the shame, do not stop to congregate and consider very seriously to share you suffer and your fight with a “mature and mercyfull brother in Faith” (very important), confessing your sins.
Try to read Tim Chester books about this subject (sexual immorality, pornography - I don’t know the name in english).
May God be with you. Don’t cease to look for Him.
One who stand for nothing will fall for anything
And u gotta stand for yourself for your health
Just build up your health.
Don’t listen to them voices who says “it will make u feel good just do it just this once” don’t listen to them whatever it takes stop this
They are the back stabbing motherstalker
They will stab u from back and will say “who stabbed u show me I will smash him” from front
I don’t know how u trust these voices
When all they do is harm to ur health
I would say, if you’re having a really hard time stopping porn, maybe it’s not just porn. There may be other problems in your life, that maybe even you aren’t aware, and that is making it harder to stop.
As an example: I was in a job before that I hated. I couldn’t stop PMO, even if everything else with my life was ok. After I quit, it became a lot easier.
I would recommend you do a daily meditation practice, not the one you focus on breath, but the one you focus on body feelings. Your body talks, but when we’re into PMO it’s hard to listen to it. Practice this meditation, try to see which parts of your body has tensions, and why. This investigation might help you try to find if there’s something more deep beneath the surface.
Yeesh. such long responses! How’s this? I for one don’t want you to come out of this addiction. It doesn’t benefit me to have another man on the field capable of overcoming the power of earthly desires. Please continue to consume and weaken your spirit so i can later convince you to give me your money easily.
Is this some form of motivation or are you serious? It’s hard to tell just by reading words on a screen.
Weird flex but ok:joy:
Motivation my boi. Nothing pushes me more than proving someone wrong who is under the impression they’re better than me.
I know you weren’t trying to read the paragraphs people gave you.
Youe highest motivation should be yourself…you know what makes you angry sad anxious depressed etc etc…why on earth are you continuing to do the same mistakes if you know what is going to happen…imagine this scenario you live in another world…first thing you feel when you burn yourself is actually good…after a few minutes you start to feel the burn and you can feel the pain from that burn for 50 days…will you make the same mistake again just to feel the first 2 good minutes after the burn…hell no lol…also if you dont end this now…you will be stuck for years and years at the same place you are now…nothing will change…you will have a sad life…you did not let god down…but he is saddened cos you dont believe in him enough…i mean imagine this…you have the holy spirit inside you …the almighty god…you are literally his child…made by him in his image!!! And you cant beat a sin…ofc you can you just to have the faith and the will …you already have God but you dont knock his door enough
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