I 'm bored I feel something bad

My mom doesn’t the lovely mother , I Do it on duty ,yes don’t be surprised she do only the things from her side , she can’t understand anything what’s wrong with me , she don’t hug me when I decied to far away in the same home and she is a CT like everything is ok …
If she asked me what’s wrong with you ?!
I said nothing , I forced her to go away …
The most thing that I can’t understand , how can I will not do is to stop imagination specially the hugs or kisses from somebody , because I suffer from my deep …
She don’t undersatand anything from her false that she did against this mute conversations , no speaking …
To be Lonely is very hard … imagination makes me a crazy …
When I let imagination I can masterbate but not sure to masterbate … I can let my imagination do what it order me to masterbate … yesterday I fall in this imagination without urge but I understand to stop imagin but I can’t I want to sleep beside a man this make me wonder , but that’s the danger

Imagination is my last chance to live … I can’t live without imagine … to hard , to painfully .

Mom don’t understand that life doesn’t mean cleaning … doesn’t mean to her life it’s for us (she do what she wants to see only what I real … Nothing she close eyes )

I need to believe that I can live and I face people after with covid -19 because I know that will be a mystery with communicate people .

If anyone have a similarity between me and (her or him ) share with me how do you let your imagination away peacefully

God willing , God stay with me I need to survive , I need to let my ugly truth . Be beside me .

1 Like

Hey man, how’s going?

Well, first of all it’s necessary to understand that people are different, each one of us have personal characteristics and your mom seems be a private person, but it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love you or anything like this. Have u tried do talk to her about what you feel?

And let me see if I understand, do you think that using your imagination to visualise your mom hugging and kissing you cause urges? I mean, I’m not judging or anything, I just want to understand the situation.

My advice about imagination is to you start to be responsible to your acts, like, your imagination is unlimited, you don’t need to use it to imagine only PMO stuff, so try to imagine other things. Remember, you are the only on in control of you thoughts, no one have the power to make u think this or that, the choose are always yours.