My mom doesn’t the lovely mother , I Do it on duty ,yes don’t be surprised she do only the things from her side , she can’t understand anything what’s wrong with me , she don’t hug me when I decied to far away in the same home and she is a CT like everything is ok …
If she asked me what’s wrong with you ?!
I said nothing , I forced her to go away …
The most thing that I can’t understand , how can I will not do is to stop imagination specially the hugs or kisses from somebody , because I suffer from my deep …
She don’t undersatand anything from her false that she did against this mute conversations , no speaking …
To be Lonely is very hard … imagination makes me a crazy …
When I let imagination I can masterbate but not sure to masterbate … I can let my imagination do what it order me to masterbate … yesterday I fall in this imagination without urge but I understand to stop imagin but I can’t I want to sleep beside a man this make me wonder , but that’s the danger
Imagination is my last chance to live … I can’t live without imagine … to hard , to painfully .
Mom don’t understand that life doesn’t mean cleaning … doesn’t mean to her life it’s for us (she do what she wants to see only what I real … Nothing she close eyes )
I need to believe that I can live and I face people after with covid -19 because I know that will be a mystery with communicate people .
If anyone have a similarity between me and (her or him ) share with me how do you let your imagination away peacefully
God willing , God stay with me I need to survive , I need to let my ugly truth . Be beside me .