Not only did everythinggo wrong, i.e. everything I planned yesterday collapsed like a house of cards, but I relapsed and caught myself laying there wondering when will this all end.(the PMO) I was also thinking about how long I’ve been stuck every week, and the videos I’ve seen and I decided to take a friends advice and here I am.
Yesterday when I fapped I felt the lowest I’ve ever felt. Imagine a man trapped in a hole and now imagine that hole breaking open and the man falling even lower. I never thought I could feel this horrible about myself and the actions I have done. Anyway. If there is any advice I’m all ears, I don’t think the ground will cave again…yet.
Look man we’ve all been there. At least most of us have, I have for sure. Life will suck. And there will be things that you have no control over. You’ll do dumb crap man. You’ll do things that you regret the most, and you’ll cringe at them for the rest of your life, but you know what? We’re human, that’s what we do. And no one can change that. But life sucking is only the half of it. Because what’s good without bad? There are beautiful things in this world despite all of it crumbling around us. There are wonderful people that will love you, and forgive you, and show this amazing kindness that makes you feel like number 1! Because that’s also who we are! If we choose to be like that!! This porn crap? This masturbation crap? This relapse crap? Screw it. That’s NOT who we are. And I refuse to keep being that guy, because I know I’m better than this. Yeah, yeah it’s hard, but so is every single good thing in this world! Nothing is easy!! But it’s always worth it. This journey takes time, but your wounds will heal. Sure, scars will be left, but that only shows you how tough you are. This is your choice, and I’m down to run it with you brother. But will you accept this lifestyle? You need anything at all you can let me know. I can be your accountibility partner here on RC. Just let me know. God bless you!