Right now, I’m having really toxic mind
you know, everything become shit in matter of days. and because of that, I’m itching to smack that little Johny down there. I got jealous from my friend achievement. yeah envy for their success , I hate myself
and I hate myself for thinking hating myself thinking wanna relieve myself with fap. arg… this loop of hell.
Week before, I decided to change myself by volunteering to become the leader for managing the team for webinar. at first it feel good, now it’s not. it’s fcking hard, everything goes to zero fcking fast. I’m on tight schedule, my proposal arrive late and rejected in the end. Now my teammates have to revised it over again and we have little time remaining. Many of my teammates become ghost where I need their professionalism the most.Because my class happens to be online, can’t focus on single thing in class, and my mind always wonder to bad thing.Honestly deep down inside just wanna go crazy to forget this problem. Envy, Accumulated Stress, and problem with parents. yeah.
I can see now why most people decide to relieve oneself, than facing the problem. Yeah, it’s fycking hard.
Idk guys, I just wanna share this story, Hoping after this making my mind regained it’s sanity. Man, relapse is near.
I’m sorry if I became like a little btch, but man, never know it’s going to be this hard than it actually do.