Since the age of 14 I have struggled to talk to girls, I am always thinking too much before saying anything to a girl, with the fear that I might fuck u somewhere. sometimes I just don’t say anything… I’m 22 now and I have always been anti social so never go out to gatherings or parties so I hardly meet strangers… I even tried dating apps but hardly ever match, some time I can’t even send a message and the long gaps between messages only makes me more anxious.
Hence porn felt very convinent and before I knew it, I made this worse for me.
I’m never watching porn agian, and the next time cumm I won’t be alone…
I don’t really know, Im generally a funny guy but something happens to me when I’m around girls almost like they are alien to me, I guess some advice will we worth none, besides I can’t really talk about this to anyone and letting this out just feels better
Well if you can’t talk to girls for now, then don’t. Never feel like you miss something or you are wasting your time while others do the work and talk to girls. It’s not that important right now.
First thing you have to achieve is you to become a good boyfriend, not the good girlfriend to become yours.
As you woke up today, you are given an opportunity to use you brain your body and your energy to become better. Day by day you’ll become an excellent man, and girls will look at you and their tiny hearts will start to beat faster. Is that what you need, then do it.
First you create the life only then you live. Don’t run too fast, even if society says so. Welcome!
Thanks Man. Yeah, I have these insecurities and tbh I sometimes overreact or underreact in front of girls and I have these insecurities now also.
These lines have really helped me to some extent in overcoming these insecurities. One more thing I would like to add is that, for everyone and specially @willyg , please get a decent streak and go meet with many girls, purposely. Make yourself feel uncomfortable all the time. You will definitively make mistakes, you will make yourself stupid. Your mind will try yo stop you everytime. But, you will definitely grow bro at the end. Try to talk a lot, gradually you will be feel you can connect more with everyone, not only girls.
I’m so glad to discuss this openly here, I personally haven’t set a goal to quit porn and masturbation, I guess my goal is to stop training my brain to get an erection to porn Or watching any screen with pics… Male sexual behavior is an evolutionary baggage and porn just tapped straight into it and started controlling us like puppets… Learning about the neurological changes various addictions can have, has absolutely changed the way I look at everything, hunger, sex, anxiety depression… I almost feel invincible from these things. But still at times I feel helpless and lost and lonely, I hope time helps us get over it…
Thank you all for sharing your views and stories…
I am 42. Sometimes funny, other time now the brightest star on the sky. Social skills with females are for me a big mistery even now. Apart of the f.ed marriage i have, i was able to get married → somehow got to that point. What i have learnt:
#1 mostly any girl / chick / lady i talked to / started any conversation is not looking for any encounter w/you. They want to have somebody to talk to/with, spend the time in some good way, DONT EXPECT you to be a tiger or something similar. They want to see who you are, how you think, react. The more you put in it “forcefully”, the more " artifically" it looks for them.
#2 cherry-picking a chick to start communication with is the way to fail. You should try the communication with ANY girl and not saying all, but the more the better. Remember the approach of try/attempt & fail? It is actually the best way to learn
#3 i am not saying to approach every chick in your vicinity, but be there not a a stranger, but like a guy they don’t mind seeing / meeting, somebody who treats them in a way they don’t mind spending time talking to.
#4 forget about your insecurities. You wont become a casanova, or a playboy. You either have it or not. Neither i have it. Keep approaching them without the goal of impressing them. And dont watch every word you say, because that is where the bad imoression starts (the weird guy label)
#5 send me direct message if you want. There is more to discuss…