So I relapsed today,
How was I feeling, depressed
I couldn’t think of a way to feel better, I gave up, I’m thinking about something, but there is nothing make me fool good. Eventually I relapsed to feel good
Now I’m feeling alright, lost the negativite energy on the relapse,
What u feel now, disrespect for myself, embarrassed from god, I feel like not going to church or praying, cause I failed too many time already, I’m horrible person.
I’m not sad or depressed I’m alright now, just feels like I’m not worth it.
Christmas is here, idk if I’ll go to church
I know it’s wrong and it’s a sin, it’s just a bad thing
Yet I chose to do it, idk what else I could’ve done, I have no solution. my choice was keep feeling depressed, I’ve no desire to do anything at all, no life in me. So I relapsed even though it’s bad it’s a pain killer.
I was at school doing activity about Christmas for the kids
I have partner so the eyes are not all the time on me, I was barely holding myself together not to cry,
Trying to fake a smile, bring them joy
we gave them something great, alot of joy, but in the inside I wasn’t good.
I’m alright, feeling good
The thing will repeat itself, but I still don’t have a way to deal with it
All suggestions are welcome