I am Thomas and I'm an Porn addict [35 M - Day 60]

Diary
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#1

Two days ago I posted this on the message board:

I stopped drinking alcohol 5 years ago, drugs 7 years ago and cigarettes 18 years ago, but damn, Porn is the hardest addiction I ever tried to stop.
There were times I could go months without relapsing, and now I seem to relapse every two weeks.
It’s fascinating how the mind tricks me every time. But after years trying to stop I quit feeling bad about it and started to be compassionate with myself, because this is a hell of a challenge!
Let this be the last relapse.
I am Thomas and I used to be an Porn addict.

I’m super determined to make it work this time, hence this diary as a support for myself. Forever is my goal.

The systems I’m changing this time:

  • No pc after 7pm and minimize usage during the day
  • Phone in airplane mode after 7pm and out of the bedroom
  • Created a 365 days calendar and I cross the coming day off in the morning BEFORE IT HAPPENED. I place my hand to my chest and state “I can overcome this addiction because I love and respect myself”. At that moment I already decided not to fap that day.
  • More active on Rewire companion forum.

See you later, we can do this!

Edit: Here’s my sharing code in case you want to add me: g9nl6f

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#2

All the best Thomas… You can do it. :muscle::v:

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#3

Love the way you face this addiction. Will learn from you too

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#4

DAY 7 - Eazy Peazy

The first week is usually not an problem for me, it’s around 14 days that is the first challenge.

However, I took the challenge to rewire my brain from day 1, using other urges as a template.
Some examples;

  • when I start a pack of oreo’s I would easily eat half the pack, now I restrict myself and can only eat two.
  • When eating breakfast, no cellphone / books / any distraction, just me and the food.
  • I put my phone on airplane mode when I go to sleep (and keep it out of the bedroom) and can only turn airplane mode off once I finished breakfast and morning exercises.

Basically training the mind to ask first if it’s okay to indulge in some urge (and usually it’s an NO).

Let’s see what this gives in the next seven days.

Keep it going fellow people. Love and respect yourself!

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#5

By reading your post i see you are true to yourself and i would like to see you porn free :slight_smile:
Count me if you would like to connect.

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#6

Just an update of inspiration, the following man has been doing nofap for the last 9 years: Sarvesh Shashi, and he is rocking life!
This postcast was a joy to listen to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0NTMSFBmv0

Other than that, energy is back to normal levels, what a difference with day 0 - 7.

Anyhow, watch the postcast!

#7

Day 13 - Been awarded the new user badge of the month November 2020 :two_hearts:

Other than that, my mind is beginning to poop up small tests, libido seems higher and dreams are also getting more sexual.
The past 3-4 times I relapsed around day 14, so I need to be extra vigilant these days.

I firmly believe I can easily traverse these days just by sticking to these rules:

  • No digital devices after 7pm
  • Morning statement and intention to do nofap that day
  • Don’t push away ‘unwanted’ emotions, thoughts,… Just let them be and don’t fall into the content.
  • Daily walks, meditation and yoga

This is a journey we can only do by ourselves, but we can support each other in that. Keep going strong people! :yellow_heart: :orange_heart: :heart:

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#8

Day 18 - So far so good

Nothing else to add :slight_smile:
Keep going people!

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#9

Can you share your friend code? I’d love to keep track of your journey!

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#10

Day 25 - Still going strong

It feels like this streak is the final one. Although I’ve learned over the years to be humble, not letting my cockiness take over. Taking it day by day is key, moment by moment even.

We can be thankful for this addiction, it is teaching us so much about ourselves. Teaching us how to overcome our deepest seducer, and with that giving us the keys of determination, discipline, emotional stability, acceptance, confidence, and so much more.

It’s up to us, to each day decide, that this is another day free of pmo, because we love and respect ourselves.

Spread love :heart:

2 Likes
#11

My name is also Thomas! You seem like a good man. Let’s do this together!
j3ejr8

#12

Day 30 - Yes!

This is a nice milestone, let’s double it. The past 30 days felt easy, not sure why, but most probably because I really want to succeed this time. And the daily morning decision to stay clean that day is a good daily reminder.
Also getting rid of all the social media junk will have removed a lot of triggers. I’m not even watching youtube anymore except for when it’s needed for research.

So yeah, next major milestone day 60, day by day.

Keep going guys! Know that fapping to pixels is fake.

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#13

Day 33 - Emotional speed-bumps

Somehow the last few days the mind threw several ‘negative’ emotions at me, felt very sad for a while, very angry, lazy, tired. All without a particular reason. Not feeling like doing my meditation sessions (but doing them anyway).
I loosened the ropes a little bit and allowed screen time after 7pm, only to watch a movie. I believe it’s important to be nice to yourself, and going through that emotional rollercoaster it seemed time for a break.

With all that, I noticed more sexual-tinted past events popping up, images of ex’es or flirts. As usual, once I notice them I let them go and observe the body instead.

If the whole period of day 30 till 60 is going to be like this I’m in for a ride :grimacing: :crazy_face:

Keep going keep learning :orange_heart:

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#14

Day 43 - Happy new-year to all!

Its good to know I will start the new year with a running streak of 43 days. All the previous relapses have given me the strength an tools to keep going strong without forcing anything.

The last weeks I’ve been thinking about doing a whole year without any sexual activities nor dating etc, so basically celibacy the whole year. It hasn’t been decided yet, but I’m doing 10 days of silence and meditation the first weeks of January, and after that period I will know if I go forward with this.

Happy newyear to all and instead of sorrowing over relapsing, learn for them. They show you what to work on.
Spread love :heart:

3 Likes
#15

Day 57 - Continue on…

I’ve finished my silent & meditation days last monday, and decided on not to enforce celibacy. I am however going to refrain from dating and pursuing romantic acts for the moment. This for the first half of the year and then re-evaluate.
The highest priority stays nofap, which is going well so far. Sometimes there is a wanting for sexual release, as there is wanting for so many things in life. The more we learn to restrain ourselves, the more we are free from having to act on those things we supposedly want.

I hope you all improve a lot on this journey this year! :herb:

#16

Day 60 :partying_face:

So, 60 days since my last relapse. I believe it’s about acceptance, acceptance of all those emotions and triggers that make us relapse. Accepting that there we were fooled so many times by our urges and ‘just one peek’. And maybe even laugh with the absurdity of this all.

Keep going! :arrow_up:

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#17

Congratulations! :smiley:
Be proud of what you achieved and be great every day :wink:

1 Like