Been on the act of quitting then relapsing for 5 years since it all started. Best was 6months
Just after a 5days fail, I downloaded the app for hope to control the MO part, for the P*** part was never an issue to quit for prolonged periods.
It’s almost midnight, my mind is encouraging a relapse till it hits 00:00 for the day is already doomed, but I guess these urges are better not to satisfy.
Lately, I’m so tired of 5day streaks then relapse, every relapse hits like a truck… but compared to numerous times daily weeks ago; it is kinda something.
This relapse has been the hardest, that feeling of heavy breathing, self-hatred… like wanting to fast-forward the upcoming days to build a streak.
Going with the: “This is the last time, this is the once and for all streak…”. I hope it truly is the one
I wanna care for my body, keep it for this who deserves sharing it with…
I wish it is this time.