Hi everyone
It’s been a long journey with this forum
I always wanted to do nofap and I always failed, for a long time
Along with that came depression, and a loss of desire to live.
However I went through a series of highly distressing events, and once I hit the limit something happened with my mind and I simply quit this addiction once and for all (also yeah, before quitting it so strongly, I had first quit fapping for a week which wasn’t easy for me, small experiences then became big)
A couple of years back, I developed a phobia of studies. I remember I was in shock when I saw that I couldn’t remember what I read 5 mins back. Since I was young however, I have had a very good memory.
My parents tell me that I would remember smallest of the details, and my other relatives would ask “can he read yet” as obviously I wasn’t been to school yet.
Of course I wasn’t some memory champ like those we see in shows who can memorize an entire shuffle of cards and so many things just by seeing once, but it was good enough to do the job.
At that time I couldn’t really understand what went wrong. My grades obviously dropped too and I struggled to even pass the subjects. It took me a long ass effort to bring myself to this position of improvement today. But it is nothing like how I used to be.
Another series if highly distressing events happened recently in my life, but this time I couldn’t utilize the energy buildup to make myself study. And maybe those events aren’t over yet. I had hoped that the way I had just immediately stopped fapping for 37 days initially. That trigger to make myself do stuff I don’t like but is actually beneficial for me didn’t work the same this time.
I wanted to rush and study for 12 hours, but I get exhausted at 6-8 hours. I can’t do more than that. I tried really hard. I’m yet unable to do so.
Fear of disappointment makes me run away from studies once again, and now I’ve come to study at 4 hours best. It can’t go like that and I have to conquer my fear once and for all. But I’m kinda stuck. My head still hurts and lack of focus comes in between sometimes. I’m making minute progress everyday maybe, but it’s not enough. This situation is much more complicated than quitting to fap and watching porn. It has several layers to pass. I have to increase my capacity and give my everything to study so that I can accomplish what I want.
I need suggestions. Thank you very much
I know you will disagree but it is impossible to study efficiently for 12hrs.
Yes you can sit in front of you book for 12hrs and repeat stuff but that is not useful.
The important thing is not the time but the dose of study. Dose = intensity * time
Read “Deep Work” by Cal Newport. Try to study for 6hrs but during these, focus all your attention solely on studying. This is way more efficient then simply increasing the time.
(Don’t think that it is easy. Focus means, not checking the phone a single time, not checking the clock or E-Mail, only look up things that are relevant for your current topic, close your browser were you have dozens of tabs open.)
If you do that, you will see how your results spike up
It occurs to me that if you get a high to do something, you can do it for a considerable amount of time. Ofcourse I’m not going to stay in front of books for 12 hours, I will need to eat, take a 5 minute walk and so on. Overall however it can be 12 hours. I know an example where he got triggered and started to study for 16 hours a day consistently every day. I do agree with your point that his intensity probably wasn’t deep all the times. But then I have nothing else in life right now. I wish to be obsessed about what I want to achieve, and maybe with enough practice I can build up enough endurance to do so
I agree, practice makes perfect. Aiming high is important for progress.
I would just suggest to start with high intensity first and then increase the amount to the highest you can do with that intensity.
I’m unable to do so right now. I have to convince myself that let’s do it for some minutes and then I gradually increase the intensity as the time passes. I recall the distressing events to fuel me, and my goal drives me too. That’s how I do it right now. I have come to a situation where I want to think about the concepts when I’m sitting idle, compared to before when I was straight up scared of them and that induced a fight or flight response in me
As I recall how my nofap got triggered, the emotional pain due to those events increased more and more and then reached at its peak to the point it did not hurt me anymore. My mind was kinda unshackled at that moment, and I was feeling like “I will die but I will not give up. Bring on whatever you got, just do your worst to me.” briefly for a few moments. I was highly energized. Then I understood that what can be beyond this “stress”, you feel like you will break but then suddenly you are free.
The same stress comes up for studies too. But like I said earlier it is more complicated. I have stayed in that condition for several days now, and once I also had a breakdown. I was scared and wanted to run away but I can’t run away from my goal.
Thanks you just stop me from relapsing
lol what did I exactly do?
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