Hey, brother! Thank you for tagging me! I feel appreciated haha so thank you so much! I’m gonna share what I know, both from my knowledge and experience.
My longest streak is 431 days which I achieved last year, but I eventually relapsed over and over again. Currently I’m on day 45, 10 days apart from your current streak, after relapsing countless times. But I think I learnt a lot from previous streaks.
Okay, the first thing and the most important thing is your reason to fight! You need to find the biggest, strongest WHY, why you decided and committed to do nofap in the first place. Mine is that I don’t want to repeat high school, I mean, when in high school, I was 100% PMO zombie, and I kept being like that for several years until I found nofap when I’m in college. So, what made me able to reach that 431 days is that biggest strongest WHY : I don’t want to be a PMO zombie, I couldn’t even talk normally to women, even to my female friends, I only viewed them as objects, I looked at their body, scanning like a total pervert. PMO destroyed my physical (I always felt tired, no energy, back pain, knee pain), and my mental and mindset (the way I looked at sex is distorted, also at women as well; sex is actually an abbreviation of Sacred Energy eXchange which is distorted by PMO, which taught us that it is purely for lust, ego, and domination) - But I failed last year because my brain tricked me. I became arrogant and thought “ah, just once won’t hurt”, and I ended up downward spiraling on tons of relapses. I even forgot my big WHY, and only recently finally able to get back on track again, 45 days pure no peeking no searching no touching unnecessary.
So, that’s my biggest why, you should have yours as well, because that will be the one that guide every choices you make in your life.
The next thing I want to share is, you should learn about mindfulness. Perhaps you can try meditation? Meditation is not exclusive for religious people, it’s actually science to have more self-control and healthier well-being. The point of meditation is to learn to be aware of your own thought and emotion. Because urges are basically those two. Thought is in the mind, while emotion is felt in the body. So, instead of being reactive to the urges, you can be responsive to the urges. It may take a while, but I think you’re already good because you do realize when the urges come and you make decision not to follow the urges.
Congrats on making it this far, bro! 55 days is a great achievement! I want to share one more thing. The point of nofap is not when there’s no urge, it’s the total opposite, it’s where the urges arise, what we do is what determine our growth and healing. I know it’s hard for addiction, because usually in the beginning, it’s not even a thought process, it’s automatic. And this is the point of meditation and mindfulness. So you can be aware of the urges and make conscious decision on how to respond to that urges.
The urges will always be there, they will come. We don’t know when, where, and how we will get triggered. But we need to understand that we can make better decision over that urges. Every time we feel the urges, and we decide to rise beyond it, we strengthen our mental muscle, our willpower.
The next thing is, I suggest you to do things you enjoy the most in your life. Also, try to do some journaling, or writing diaries if I may say, try to write self-affirmation that you can enjoy your life without PMO. I say firmly : there’s a world outside of PMO. This part is super important (ah no, I think every part is important haha), but, as you can see as the app name, it’s called Rewire Companion, right? That’s it! That’s the very purpose of this app. It’s to accompany ourselves to rewire our brain, our neural pathways.
One thing that works for me is to put a wallpaper on my phone, quotes and affirmations related to nofap. I use widgets from Google notes as well so I can read it everyday. It doesn’t have to be the exact same but you get the point, right? Again, it’s to rewire our brain, so we need to write and read, again and again, and also, do the things that you enjoy the most, because it strengthen the new belief that we don’t need PMO to enjoy our life to the fullest!
And one more thing, I learn a lot about mental health, there’s a beautiful quote I found years ago : “the opposite of addiction is not sobriety, but it’s human connection.” That’s one of the most beautiful quote for me personally. But it is what it is. I recommend you to socialize more, connect more with your family, friends, and it will be great if you and build connection with female friends! Because, again, it will rewire your brain, and create the belief that women are also human beings like us, men, they are warm, friendly, full of love, they have feelings, thoughts, and personality, and we can be friend with them, so we can look at them not just as sex objects/for sexual pleasure, but as fellow human beings like us.
Then, I learn that addictions always originate from pain, usually psychological pain, or stress in one’s life. So, the question is not why the addiction, but why the pain? I hope you don’t have so much pain, but my addiction happens because I have mother wound, and also severe bullying when I was in school. So, if you have struggles as well, especially if it overwhelms you in your daily life, don’t be afraid to seek professional therapist! But it’s you decision, and I respect every decision you make. Heal the pain and the addiction will be cured as well.
Oh one more thing, facing an addiction is really hard, I understand that very well. We need to be cautious, no matter how long our streak is, try to treat it like you’re always on day 1. That way, we can be aware that we can fall anytime, so we must not lower our guard, especially the mind, we need to carefully guard our mind, our awareness.
I’m on day 45 and I faced the urges several times. One thing that can help is that, those shitty videos are just stupid pixels, it’s not worth your time and energy, in the end, it’s just you and your hand, and your phone. Also, I don’t bring my phone to the bathroom anymore, because triggers can come from anywhere and anytime. At least I reduce the chance of me getting triggered in the bathroom.
But to clarify my point of view. For me personally, there’s nothing wrong with using phone. It’s not inherently good or bad, just like a knife, we can use it to cook or to hurt people, it all depends on the user. Using phone is the same, we can use it to improve ourselves, or to destroy our life. It’s our conscious choices that make the difference.
I don’t want to repeat my mistake, my arrogance, no, no more pic, gif, video, just no, no searching, no peeking, no touching unnecessary, be firm with yourself, fully committed, because, nofap and no PMO is the only way. Once again I repeat, there’s a world outside of PMO.
Alright bro, that’s it from me for now. Take good care of yourself, and good luck with your nofap journey!
)
.
it’s so, so very well appreciated. I’m also humbled by the fact that you’ve asked for my advice lol. Goes without saying that good on you for being humble and asking for advice.
), also a small length of time. Put 100 days next to 3 years (which is still a small length of time, to be honest) - that’s 100 : 1095! An 11th of the time! So remember that your brain will take longer than 3 months to heal. Most likely much longer. That’s ok, it’ll do what it needs to do, and it is absolutely incredible that it is being allowed to heal, and to, through this experience, be far, far stronger afterwards and during healing.
DO THIS NOW, NOT LATER. If you wait, your future self in an urge will ignore these steps.
THE 5-MINUTE URGE PLAN:
Stand up and physically move (jumping jacks, push-ups, go outside)
Take a deep breath and say:
Do an alternative action for 5 minutes:
The urge will lose power if you delay acting on it. 90% of urges disappear after 5-10 minutes!
“My only goal today is to stay clean. Tomorrow will take care of itself.”
Let’s start fresh right now. Not tomorrow, not later—NOW.