here are my details of urges in my journey.
- First week is the easiest in the first month. If I could remember all the consequence of fapping, I could easily do it.
- After first week, the urges would still be low if I don’t contact sexual stuff (magazine, book, photo and video included anime and porn). Easy to achieve the rest of 3 week under this situation of first month.
- After first month, this is the time when urges came seriously. If you haven’t had wet dream, it comes, if you haven’t had strong urges, it come as well. How to describe this level of urges? It feels like 2 or 3 times more serious than the time in first month. It is a way of memory reflection of all the sexual stuff. It just hit you nerve and tempted you as much as it can. How I overcame it to reach the second month? Making notes. I made notes of my past and people’s past and also described how my and other’s method to overcome urges. Once I felt urges, I came back to the notes and read them again and again. My scars (past experience) made me go through this month as well.
- Roughly, I used the same method to overcome the urges after wet dreams in all these days.
- After second month, I had enough experience on having of habit of making notes or making NoFap pictures which helped me out. It is easier for me to overcome these urges at the moment (again same type urges - memory types that are 2 or 3 time stronger than the first month urges). No doubt, I reached my 90 days - Third month.
- After the 90 days, these are the true urges, no temptation, no memory reflection, no talking, but pure actions. The reason it is called true urges, because all the previous urges are not actions, they are thoughts, if you could kill your thoughts, you could manage them but action urges are really like orders. It doesn’t tempt you, or trick you. What you get are orders!!! Urges are like your boss, give you orders to do this to do that, you can reject orders, but much harder than just temptation ones. I would say that it is 5 times more fked up than first month urges (excuse for my languages, just wanted to spread my true feelings). So, I have to make myself somewhere else, for example, playing video games (non-sexual, not single mode, but multiplayer ones, which could help me to message others and focus more on something or someone else instead of myself). I overcame it until this morning-noon, since I played it crazily, and slept late. I just want to make sure all my brain is full of game, and NoFap knowledge (I still read some NoFap tips these days in the early morning). At the end, both of these actions really helped me out, and I would like to make more notes as well for preventing future urges.
- Here is my short summary of urges: urges did need triggers, someone already suffered from it. But this is more important: urges are inside not outside, it is not from porn, it is part of you. Here are the explanations:
In the first month: urges didn’t fully wake up, it is partially working in your brain, and make you feel that urges are from past habit, not from human nature, which is totally wrong.
In the 2nd and 3rd months, urges did wake up more, and it becomes more real - memory reflections.
In the beginning of 4th month, urges became you and you became urges, at this moment, urges are fully waked up along with your self-control. Until this point, I realized that urges are from my nature, it could be caused by triggers, but it is truly from me not anywhere else. It is not from porn or porn star, or animation, or bad families or friends, but myself. Fap too much would kill partial satisfaction of urges, but enhance future ones. So fap is not a solution for NoFap even it works. NoFap is not the final solution either because it is still outside of yourself (But it is one of the best solutions for the present, after marriage, you would have sex urges, or other urges that are as harmful as fap, at that moment, you have to learn more anti-addiction methods, and which means building up your understanding of addiction-self is the final step). For now, being a single really helped me out. in the days, the time I had a gf, NoFap was had to stopped due this relationship… And I would say that addiction do create personality and which is turned into yourself. Just like raising up a baby which takes time (I don’t know how much time people spent on fapping in their life time, but from what I knew is several years). In a parable way: let’s say that your addiction is a 3-4 years old kid. Right now your baby is going to die in the hospital from HIV or cancer, and you wanted him/her to die for your brighter future. But how long will it take if it was discovered right after he/she get the disease (this is the moment you discoverd NoFap, and you want to quite porn and masturbation).
FOR HIV at least 10 year, for cancer, it depends. But for our addiction of fap, personally, I would say couple years of NoFap is the minimum to kill the baby in the hospital unless you have to give up for your own excuses (Don’t argue that, I wouldn’t control you, which is your life not mine).
Killing baby theory is harsh, but it is how NoFap people feel as well (part of you love that addiction/baby, part of you believe that it is wasting time on addiction/baby).
Don’t worry about how life work and what is meaning of life. All you have to know is to stand up after failure, which is what I was told! Stay strong guys!