Chapter 3: Causes
Pornography and masturbation are actually effects. There is one thing in each of our lives that has triggered these negative forces. Teenage curiosity, bad company, sexual abuse, premarital sex, loneliness, inner wounds, the desire to satisfy the flesh, are the causes that have often driven people to pornography and masturbation.
- The curiosity of adolescence
Adolescence, between the ages of 13 and 19, is a delicate period in the life of any person. It is during this period that we really begin to become aware of our identity as a “person”. The girl becomes aware that she is truly “a woman” and the boy wants to be recognized as a real “man”. Teenagers feel the need to have a loving relationship. However, in most cases, it is difficult for them to have a stable and lasting relationship. As a result, many find themselves distracted even at school. The girl is more interested in affection while the boy is more interested in demonstrating his manhood. This is a very delicate stage, since the young person is in the process of discovering himself.
During this period there is also an awakening of sexual impulses. The girl sees her first period and the boy ejaculates. There is a strong desire in each of them to have sex. It is during this period that many young people have discovered pornography and masturbation, which unfortunately hold them back until adulthood if they do not give themselves to Jesus Christ. If you are still a teenager, I would advise you to channel your impulses towards healthy things. For example, you can get rid of these urges by doing sports regularly. Beyond everything else, this is a time when you really need to cling to Jesus Christ, it is very important. Because He alone can help you go through this period without trouble and disappointment. Most men are lost today because they didn’t handle their teenage years well. Don’t be like them. Here are ten practical ways that I discovered on a website, which I’ve reworded for clarity. I suggest them to help you get through your teenage years just fine.
- Avoid bad company. If you are surrounded by bad friends, you will inevitably be negatively influenced.
- Avoid “second look”. When you see a bad thing, look away immediately. If you linger looking at it, that is when lust is born in your heart and you will be tempted to fall into sin.
- Have discipline in your conversations. Avoid rude jokes. If someone comes to talk about things that are contrary to modesty and common sense, stop him immediately.
- Take care of your outfit. You must dress decently. A young woman once said, "I will dress as if Jesus is going to accompany me.” Avoid clothes that do not honour your body, let alone the Lord.
- Choose carefully the TV programs or movies to watch.
- Select your readings. So many books and magazines focus on sexual attractiveness today, avoid them.
- Keep an eye on what you do in your spare time. There are certain things that may seem like entertainment, but if you do not examine them thoroughly, you will be drawn into sin. For example, a very good movie, with a nice story, but in which people are just kissing. The devil uses those kinds of things to send you subliminal messages.
- Discipline yourself in love relationships. Don’t confuse physical attractiveness with love. Many young people say “I love you,” but they don’t even know what “love” really means. They’re more attracted to physical appearance, which isn’t all it takes to build a lasting love relationship.
- Spend time in meditation on the Word of the Lord. The psalmist said, “I hold Your word in my heart that I may not sin against You” Psalm 119:11. “Your word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path” Psalms 119:105. Memorize these biblical words so that you can face the enemy at the time of temptation. God’s Word is the weapon that the devil cannot overcome. In front of the darkness that fills this world, only the Word of God can help you not to get lost.
- May Jesus Christ occupy your heart and your life. Do you know Him as your personal Lord and Savior? God loves you and He wants you to walk in sanctification. He is able to grant you supernatural strength to overcome sexual temptations. Turn to Him with all your heart and He will forgive you. No one here on earth loves you like God.
- Bad companies
Many find themselves captive to these things because they have not been surrounded by good people, and perhaps continue to be poorly surrounded. One young man once said that it was his own brother who introduced him to masturbation. For them it was like jokes and by dint of practicing it, he ended up being an addict. Others were influenced by their friends, like me. And if to this day you continue to spend time with people who don’t help you get your life in order with God, you will not be able to overcome these things. "Don’t fool yourselves. Bad friends will destroy you. "1 Corinthians 15:33.
- Sexual abuse
Rape is also part of the causes. Many people who have been sexually abused are sometimes ashamed to say what happened to them and so they live with a weight and emptiness in their hearts. They often immerse themselves in pornography because they think they will find something in it that will fill the emptiness they feel in their heart. However, they are mistaken. Pornography makes it even worse. It’s a bit like the story of Mr. Boubakar. He was so fed up with his wife that he went to get some alcoholic drink to forget his worries. Instead of calming his worries, alcohol made the situation even worse. Because when he returned home, he was seeing his wife doubly under the influence of alcohol. Sometimes we think we can solve a problem by doing one thing, but we create a hundred more. The real solution to this problem is to talk to a man of God. It’s not easy I know, but you can do it. If you are in this situation I would advise you to find a man of God or a servant of the Lord in whom you trust and share your problem. Hiding it will only make the situation worse. I know a woman who was sexually abused while she was still a child, even worse by her own father. But she decided to take this burden and give it to Jesus Christ. Today she is one of the Lord’s greatest servants, her name is Joyce MEYER. She says that she was raped many times by her own father, but beyond all this, Jesus has restored her life, He can also do it for you. You too can choose not to carry this heavy burden any longer and give it to Jesus Christ.
If you are tired from carrying heavy burdens, come to me and I will give you rest. Take the yoke I give you. Put it on your shoulders and learn from me. I am gentle and humble, and you will find rest. This yoke is easy to bear, and this burden is light. Matthew 11:28-29
- Premarital sex
This is where many young people have opened the door to unclean spirits in their lives. They take it as a joke or just as a fleshly pleasure even though sex is very powerful spiritually. It is not only a meeting of two bodies but also of two souls and two spirits. If you unite sexually with someone who is under a demonic influence ipso facto you also come under this influence because sexual intercourse is a blood pact. That is why the Bible says that man and woman become one flesh when they unite. Also, in the entrance of the genital organ of the woman there is what is called the hymen, which is a membrane of blood that breaks during the first sexual intercourse. This is how blood comes out of some women during their very first sexual intercourse. Why is there a blood membrane right in the entrance of the female genital organ? It’s precisely because it’s a spiritual wedding ring door. Moses sealed the covenant of the people of Israel with God with blood (Exodus 24:8)! Jesus made the covenant of our redemption with His Blood! Even in the occult world covenants are sealed with blood. When you sexually unite with someone in reality it is a spiritual covenant you are making. If that person was under the influence of pornography and masturbation, when you unite with that person, ipso facto you will also enter this prison because your blood has been in contact. That is why the Lord asks us not to have premarital sex because you do not know the spiritual state of the person you are uniting with. The Lord will only protect you if it is within the framework of marriage, otherwise you will invite demons into your life.
- Loneliness
When people feel lonely or rejected by others, they are also tempted to seek solace in pornography. They think these pleasures will fill the emptiness they feel in their hearts, but a few years later they realize they made the wrong decision. The true comforter is the Holy Spirit. Jesus Christ is the friend of those who feel lonely. Turn to Him, open your heart to Him and He will give you joy.
- Inner wounds
An internal injury can also push someone towards these practices. Always in search of consolation, some people who have suffered abuse during their childhood, who have suffered the death of a loved one, who have been disappointed, who are going through difficult situations that create despair, turn to pornography because they are depressed. Once again, I would like to tell you that Jesus Christ is the solution.
- Lack of self-discipline
Watching anything and everything, listening to any kind of music, are also causes. There are certain types of music that only exalt sex, by listening to them, do you think you will be filled by the presence of the Lord? No! You will be filled with desires to satisfy your flesh. This is how many still feel oppressed by sexual desire. Lack of discipline is also a cause. One day a boy said, "I discovered masturbation through a cartoon. I saw, and I tried it. That’s how I became addicted to it. You have to watch what your eyes see and what your ears hear.
- The desire to satisfy the flesh
Some people have never made the decision to say no to the lust of the flesh. It is true that sexual desire is normal for every man. But when you allow yourself to be dominated to the point of becoming a slave, that is evil. That’s why the Holy Spirit is there. He helps us to control this desire and to submit it to the will of the Lord. You must have a heart for God, decide not to let your flesh take you away from God. Many people have never made this decision, so they plunged into pornography.
- And several other causes
Everyone knows exactly when it started in his or her life and what was the cause of it. You must identify this cause and confess it.
Let’s pray!
Lord Jesus Christ. You know my life; you know everything I went through to get in this situation. Give me the strength to share this problem so that this weight can leave my heart. Alone I can’t do anything, you know that.
Forgive me and help me to walk in holiness. Heal my heart Lord. Heal my wounds. Grant me a heart for you. May I live for you Lord. You are my Lord, today I decide to change my life and come back to you. Thank you for your death on the cross, thank you because you do not condemn me. Thank you for your love Lord.