How to avoid a relapse?

Hello there,

I want to stop fap but I don’t know how. I’m very weak and I fap almost because of everything: because I’m happy, sad, angry, hungry, bored, stressed, horny, etc, etc.
It has been just one day after I installed this app and I want to quit, but at the same time I don’t. I mean, I’m very weak and I really want to stop doing fap but at the same time I’m not very confident, so I just ask my self: Is it really worth trying? You have been trying many years but you still an addict.
I know I need help, but I feel so embarrassed with myself because of this…
Can anyone give me some advice??

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Look at the negative consequences if you don’t stop: 1. Social anxiety, 2. Brain fog, 3. Tired and weak from fapping, 4. Porn induced erectile dysfunction (PIED), 5. Guilt and shame, 6. Lack of confidence, 7. Loss of time, 8. Living a secret life.

Maybe you haven’t experienced all of them, but you might if you keep going. By abstaining from PMO you can have the opposite effect of everything I mentioned. It’s worth it to try to fight porn, masturbation, and having sexual thoughts.

I am Christian and trust in my faith that Jesus will bring me through this challenge in my life.

Start this journey of nofap and don’t quit. Take this battle one day at a time. Build on your success and learn from relapses (not failure).

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You are not alone… i am trying for last one year & 9 months but still unsuccessful.

It is definately a mammoth of a task but not impossible. Just believe in yourself. Keep on trying.

I want you to make a diary. After every relapse write about it in detail. How would i have prevented it ? Did i feed my urges ?

Are you sure about it ?
If you are happy; i dont think you would fap at that time.
First, You have to write a list of reasons that Why are you doing Nofap ?

Like i am doing Nofap because the day i become addicted to the present day (almost 12 years) i remain agitated, frustrated, depressed, social anxiety, fear, i have many diseases…
So these are my reasons to be here.
I want to be at ease not diseased.
What about you ?

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In addition to the good advice from my two fellows, I would also focus on your mental health.

To me, it sounds as if you are not really in balance with yourself.
Confidence, love towards yourself, knowing your strengths and weaknesses are a very important part too.
I always feel like there are two things we should do in parallel. Fight porn like the two before me said and work on your life-balance and well-being

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Reduced privacy did it for me. I stay in a hostel so now I just leave my door open most of the time. If I feel the urge to fap, I get my skipping rope out and sweat it out for 10 minutes.
At nights I started indulging in other hobbies like playing the keyboard and reading that kept my mind preoccupied. And when I was sleepy, i keep my phone aside and straight away go to sleep!

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I also do Rope skipping from the last 18 days. I do it on alternate days. Currently i can skip upto 60 nonstop … i do 3 or 4 sets of it.

Whats your thing ?

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My…thing? Didn’t get you man.

I mean how many reps & sets ?

That is a point. Sometimes I feel that I can’t do it. That it doesn’t matter the effort I make, I always relapsed, and I feel guilty. I know that I need to be patient with myself, and I’m not. I’m working on that.
I started to fight this like 7 years ago, but I took it seriously this year because my actual girlfriend inspired me too do it.
I love her and I don’t wanna see her like a sexual object. I don’t want that. I truly love her.

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I do it for fun . Don’t really count the reps and stuff. But yeah, sets of around 200 for sure. Around 3-4.

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Thanks guys because of your advices but I fell again :pensive:
It’s hard for me because I on not to PMO, but yesterday I was with my girlfriend and we “had sex”, I mean, with our clothes.
I know some of you may don’t understand this and maybe you could think is stupid.
I guess @copper_bronze can understand me better because I’m Christian too and we prefer to wait until marriage.
She knows about this addiction and she was an addict too. In the past, she could left it. But yesterday after I left her home, she had a relapse.
I feel so bad because of this and she too, because she knows that I had a relapse too and she wants to help me, but now, we don’t know what to do.
She has a counselor, I don’t have it, and I know I need one. The problem is that I don’t trust in anyone, but a priest, because I feel I’m gonna be judged :pensive:

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I’m not sure if there is and priests or psychologists in here.
But what I do know is that in this place you can find people that you can talk openly with, that won’t judge you.
If you ask for it you will find counsel in here and all the help we as a community can give you my friend.
Peace be with you :pray:

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For me, what’s helped -

This support network, Reading people’s stories.
Giving/Receiving support!!!

Truth seeking, writing/editing constantly
Questioning answers/ideas - without bias.

Frequent Sacraments, constant confession :rofl:
Daily Mass praying/meditating with community,
Or as much as possible - with commitment.

Recognising I’m not really an addict,
Changing my habits for good ones!

Not beating myself up nor feeling guilty
Accepting I’m not perfect,
But striving for sainthood on a journey.

The Saints - St.Augustine and St.Thomas Becket


Here’s an interesting video about addiction.
I watched the English version but found one in Español for you :wink:

The English version can be found if you search “Addiction kurzgesagt”


I thoroughly suggest searching and watching it if you have said more than once “I’m an addict”

https://youtu.be/QVUTnEuu9vQ

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Hi guys,
I have a question here.
I’m fighting against M and P. Today I had “sex with clothes” (I don’t know how you called that) with my gf, and I cummed.
Is that a relapse? I mean, I can understand that maybe I replaced M with that, but I don’t feel guilty as I feel when I have a “real” relapse.
Am I wrong?
I want to see what you think.

You are confused between, Orgasm from masturbation & orgasm from sex.
Both have same results but sex is always better than masturbation.
By doing sex you can gain your partner energy if she has more than yours. You can lose also if she is weaker than you.
If both are at equal footing… both will lose energy.
But one thing is sure… You will lose your LIFE FORCE. if given the chance you & your partner can reproduce with your cum but now it all goes to dustbin.
WHAT A WASTE ! Pity !
But anyway you enjoyed it because you doesnt have the awareness to measure your loss.
Because in your life you probably have never done without orgasm so there is no tool available for you to measure your loss.

We measure only in our weak moments. If the loss is lesser in one moment, we think we gained something from the other But all these are just instrument of only LOSS.
:pray:

Yeah… But we didn’t have sex at all. There was no penetration, it was with our clothes on.
So, was it a relapse? I mean, if I want to quit porn and masturbation, is it bad too?
I saw this like something not bad at all, cause I felt I was getting insensitive sexually, but this showed me that I’m not. Am I wrong?

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Love is never wrong but dont make it a habit.
:blush: