How my negligence made me fall from 150days

Caution: The below described bad behavior of mine is extremely dangerous and it almost destroyed my vision of semen retention. So pls avoid it

I started my semen retention on June 8 2020 after reading easy peasy hack book twice, May The Almighty bless the author of that book, its an awesome book. Until then I haven’t pmoed. But till now I have allowed myself to fantasize about my future wife with myself restricting to vanilla and only on v.v few days. Upto now ie) around 150d have passed but i have allowed myself to fantasize for around 5 times, in those allowed days I would fantasize to the maximum before sleep. After waking up I will be expecting nightfall and also some cravings and temptations, the next day but I escaped from both of it( But unfortunately thats the sinister trap😈). Slowly and inconspicuously the idea of semen retention and the value of semen got erased from my mind and visual fantasizing of myself releasing semen got stored in my subconscious mind. From June to August, my decision was like I shouldn’t even release semen for casual intercourse after marriage but now its reversed. The cravings are difficult to control. The Shock and the Novelty slowly flip flopped my vision of semen retention. For 4d continuously from Nov 14 to today I have been doing nothing except fantasizing. For these 150d I haven’t even missed my salah/prayer even once but now 4d on a row I haven’t prayed, studied, read, exercised.
Before these 4d when I scroll through my phone, I will voluntarily abstain from anything that triggers me, but my eyes are SEARCHING for triggers. Fortunately I found a video on dopamine detox and after watching I find a way out. but the thing is on June 8 when I left porn, I left it with a feeling of joy but today I feel like I am sacrificing the pleasure of fantasizing so the craving for fantasizing is firing inside me every second. Now I have a fear that I would watch porn again if I scroll through my phone.

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Dont fantasize bro.

It is destroying me as well because.
At the beginning we are motivated to not pmo for sake of many benefits and so on . and one of them for future wife also, this particular reason if we keep thinking about it. We are sure to go full fantasy mode lol.

Fantasizing will disrupt the rewire process

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Fantasizing is the same as mentally peeking, even worse in some cases. Don’t do it brother. Don’t stay in bed either. Get up and work.

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According to the Bible, You can commit adultery through your eyes…

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Wristband elastic. Smack your wrist with elastic when you catch yourself fantasizing. Works everytime.

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