I just started using the rewire companion, and have read through some of the posts here. It’s amazing how comfortable it’s made me to hear the similar struggles that many of you are going through. That being said, i thought I’d share my story, and see if there’s anyone that has been down a similar road and can offer sound advice.
I got hooked on PMO when I was about 13 (31 now), and it went downhill from there. Eventually turning to more extreme topics.
I’ve been married for 5 years now, and we dated for about 4 years prior to that, and now have 2 kids. I kept my addiction a secret from my wife up until recently, when God’s grace lead her to discovery. I felt horrible and disgusted with myself when she confronted me, for having lied to her over the past 9 years. I always thought I could overcome it myself. First, I thought getting married would be the push I needed, then having children, etc. I see now that I was only fooling myself. Thankfully I have an amazing wife, who ran toward me instead of away from. That’s not to say she wasn’t extremely hurt, and her trust in me shattered, but she was willing to see through the hurt and see that this addiction is an illness. She’s willing to work through this with me, and I can’t thank God enough for that.
Even now there are still temptations, but it feels nice to not have that secret on my chest. However, it’s still hard to admit defeat to my wife when i have urges or relapse, so I am thankful to have found this community, and be able to admit these things to a group of people who understand what I’m going through.