Help me please. I can't do this alone

I don’t mean to put a weight on anyone elses shoulders… but I will say that this is one of my last attempts at getting this right or elae it’s over… I can’t continue like this. Please I need someone to help me, anybody. I can’t do this alone.

Sharing code - 2df3gs *

Current streak - 0 days *
Highest streak - 98 days *
Age - 21
Gender - M
Location - US

Why I want a companion - I’m on the edge of it and I have to try something. I’m looking for someone to talk to with this studd. I will be there for you too. Just please someone help me.

Breathe, Homie! Breathe!

No matter what, always remember that you are making progress right now. You may have strengthened yoself from PMO Everyday to like every 3 days. I say this a lot, but understand: you going from everyday to every other day, now once a week, now once a month, etc.

It is only impossible if you give up. Besides, i done binge relapsed on Saturday, and lemme tell you, it ain’t pretty. Keep at it, playa.

4 Likes

I’m 36 with the highest streak of 60, after falling I’ve been getting into the usual cycles, but am now currently on day 8 :+1::wink:

I really encourage you to stop stressing and chill, this isn’t a game or competition, but for life.
So you must learn to be less intense and be kind to yourself. Even if someone was on day 30 but intense, they are gonna burn themselves out.
We need a simple, easy mindset that can last a lifetime, nothing else. Good ideas will last and bear fruit.

Balance forgiveness towards yourself with commitment to the NoPMO ideal, but make being proactive the goal.

And, you lucky [email protected][email protected], for only being 21 and already on NoFap :smile::+1: that is awesome.
98 days is a great streak.
Thinking about that, my streak, and other companions with 3digit streaks - an easy, managble mindset works wonders.

NoFap shouldn’t be a goal. We can ask how many days? 7? 14? 30? etcetera… but there isn’t a magic place where we can say “I’m completely over it” (though our minds may tell us otherwise) Sexuality is part of our nature and temptation will always be ‘around-the-corner’.

We CAN sit back and smile because we’ve made the right decision, are in the right place and here for the reason - we know pmo takes away from life, giving nothing good.

I’ve looked at all sorts of stuff and used to think how can I be free? I’m just a perv etcetera… but it just isn’t true. What is true is our minds shape our world (so too the feelings we ignite and the words we believe)
You look once = look twice, 3, 4, 5… And your cycling in quick sand.
I’ve been to the gym a few times this month already without really thinking about, where as last month I just kept putting it off. Once you get the taste of something good, you want more.

It is easy to turn our backs on the pmo spirit.
But what takes effort is choosing the kind of spirit we want to nurture.
What kind of person do I want to be?
This is the ONLY thing that requires thought, effort and creating REAL goals for.
am I gonna exercise today? Read some psychology? Practice Italian? Practice singing for my choir?
Tai Chi? Walk the dog? Cook for others?
Help others? Find some solitude? Deal with the calamities of life and other ppl?

These are just a few real ‘simple’ things that require effort.
NoPMO is simply reaffirming the decision which brought us here.
There is no fight needed, only a straight up “No” everytime.

Good/Bad thoughts, feelings & ideas will come and go, but there is no need to respond to them, only allow while looking down on them from that place of integrity where are choices are above thoughts/feelings about pmo.
What matters is exercising your will/your choices above any feelings.

Learning to zip it :zipper_mouth_face: is an extremely great virtue.
Before you feel the need to rush, say something, help someone, we must learn to stop and allow it to pass, and do the thing that has meaning and a positive impact, resolution. Which is why I’m currently re-editing this reply - as I sometimes wander off topic and like to make some effort to really get the point across, but at the same time I’m free to let go of it, not allowing my clinging/desire to create internal conflict.

What’s helpful is keeping still, doing everything slowly with meaning, chill, let ideas & feelings pass, even the ones that seem like profound epiphanies - we can let go of it all, like letting a boat float out to sea. Push it out.

I’m not great at being a companion, as I can’t put in the effort I’d like to, but get wrapped up in daily life.
Please feel free to join The Check-in Diary, even just for a few weeks to get a streak together.
Simply checking-in on a daily basis keeps us committed and can be a good way to restrain ourselves from getting carried away with our thoughts.

8 Likes

Sorry I get really intense after relapsing. I absolutely hate myself for doing it but that doesn’t seem to stop me from doing it again. I just wish it was over. But I guess I have to fight don’t I?

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It’s key to forgive yourself and have love and respect for yourself through this process.

Feelings of hate towards yourself only add fuel to the addiction’s power over you. It’s a toxic cycle of destruction; PMO makes us feel completely ashamed of ourselves and deep regret and serious stress, leading to other problems in our lives, which we try to medicate by returning for another PMO session, which causes more shame regret and stress, and the cycle continues.

I relapsed 46 times this year, and hating myself for what I’d done and for breaking my longest streak of 58 days in January did nothing to help me move forward. It was only when I finally forgave myself fully, resolved to show myself love and stopped carrying the past around as a burden, that I have reached 21 days; the farthest I’ve gone this year.

We have to change our view of ourselves in order to be successful. If we continue for days, weeks, months or even longer without viewing P and engaging in M, but we still view ourselves as someone who does so and that our success is undeserved, we are destined to return. The sad fact is that the vast majority of us have this mental need to prove false mental impressions right. As painful as it is, it’s easier to tell ourselves, “See, I knew I would relapse again.” We need to change that to, “See, I knew I would be successful!”

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I think in your current state what you might need is compassion towards yourself. In recovery, we are often so harsh on ourselves. After a setback, we start to have doubts and thoughts of failure. But picture someone else coming to you after having a setback. Wouldn’t you be kind to that person? Wouldn’t you have words of encouragement for that fellow brother in recovery? Do you have some of those kind words for yourself too? If not, then really think about start being kind to yourself. Acknowledge your strengths, think about what this addiction has cost you and what you already have done to improve your life. Hey, 98 being your highest streak, that’s great! You have some set of tools I believe, otherwise you wouldn’t have gone that far, so now it’s about taking hope and taking action.

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5x6e28
Add me. This is my sharing code.

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