Its day 2 for me after relapse from 50 something days and I’m in a peculiar situation
My mind wants and is entertaining the idea of Porn and watching it but
My Body is not moving to do that action.
My body is not moving to look at Porn nor is it in the mood to play with my buddy downstairs
I thought after a relapse i would go on a relapse binge but what type of situation am i in?
I’m confused and i don’t understand what’s going on with me right now.
Im not saying i wanna watch porn… but usually when my mind makes up its mind about something…
i would more a less see it through but my mind and Body seem to be at odds
My Minds telling Me Yes but My Body… My Bodyyyy telling me No
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Dude I feel you. Minus the after a high streak. I’ve been in the shower where I want to just sit down and go at it but my legs won’t move. Just listen to your body dog. It knows best 
Now go use that stiff body and go warm it up with a walk!
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I know asimilar situation from myself when i was on day 84 and actually amde the mistake fo relapsing. i ahve been thinking about that state quite abit.
what hapened to me was that i felt a horrible empty feeling aadn overwhelemed nd just wanted to feel better… i knew that PMO would help even though at the cost of my streakand all the benefits… but evenw when i startet my body kinda didi not want to…
part of that is hazy but here is my theroy to what happened… maybe it helps you.
so actually only one part of your mind wants to PMO but due to all the expereinces and belifs that you ahve changed a large chunk of your values ahs changed and you do not consider PNo as satisfying as it used to be and you understand some of the mechnaisms a lot better than before… also the rewiring process is relatively far ahead so the neural pathways are not well trodden anymore… al that leads to a conflict from your addcited part of mind that wants to feel better due t the urge and you more educated subconscious parts that are tired of PMO and got used to dod diffrent things…
not the intersting part ist that due to this conflict you might be in limbo… now oyu neeed a tad of will pwoer to decide to stick with quiting PMO and it will be easier than the last 5 days since a part of you is already detached from PMO… of you culd do what i didi and go all the way into relapse marathon and completly screw up your wires again…
i hope that oyu amke the chise that shows some love towards yourself
this si jsut theory… but maybe it helps…
bests
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who the hell are you; you right on the money
Everything u said
also i feel like im on a crossroads of some sort and i have to make a decision with my willpower
go back to ■■■■ aka go back down the mountain and start you journey again 10x as hard to climb
or keep moving forward and this ■■■■ part of your journey will be over and a new chapter begins.
… im in a lot of pain right now both mind and body
i feel like two parts of myself want one of the other any way
SIR TRY HARD WHY IN THE FLYING F
did you go back bro
you must have suffered a lot because of that decision
i almost feel sorry 4 u
i dont wish the pain im going through on anyone
at least tell me this and i guess it could help me in my choice/ was it worth it/ was that pleasure / high you been looking for did you get a taste of it even one time
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I’ve been in that situation plenty of times. Not with porn, but sometimes with sex stories on Quora. You know what? That’s a reflex to not want to do it. Your body is now trained to not do it anymore and to be a new person. Just convince your mind that your body is in the right and don’t do it.
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well as youhave propably read in the easy peasy way if i could go back and not do it i would…
well it did get me here but through a painfull path…
well i did go through with it because i felt really empty alone hopeless etc etc etc… see above
the thing is i was hopeless and did not belief that the fight was worth it also i thought that keeping to PMO would somehow help me to finish my thesis since the struggle against it took so much of my focus…
even thoguh i was on day 84 on day 75 my circumstances changed greatly i moved locations i was in antoehr town in another social circle and ahd a lot of distance towards the people i used to rely on … also i am really bad at keeping in touch with small talk etc… with me - as you ahve propably noticed most interactiosn turn into serious/deep talk xD
my support net changed and i did ot notice that it did… and due to that a went to the good old PMO since it was “the lesser evil” - wich it was not it screwed me over good and i have basically lost 2 months of my life due to that marathon… until i felt so abd again that i decied yep i am starting again at 0 but this time i will make all the preparations that i can and do it the easy peasy way no wil power no presure just kindness, optimism and selflove xD
- it works however i have a very stroing inner critic and am very used to abausing y self by the willpower method so i need to recomit to the easy way again and again
what might help you:
all of that hapened after i relapsed once… i was on the cross roads… and well i choose the path that seemed “easier” - it was not i should ahve quit it again and when thinking about relapsing on day 84 i should have really gone out side and talked to astranger or what ever asked someone for a hug… but well… now i know…
i hope it helps you
bests
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I’m definitely not the person to give you any advice at this point. However if what I tell you may help, I’d be glad.
When deciding to do something, you have to think about all the possible outputs and understand them.
Your decision will work if you accept those possible consequences and be ready to meet every one of those. This is not anything easy to do though. Sometimes those outputs are too much in quantity and examining every one is not physically possible. But this is why this addiction is a hell. And only by being ready to use all the knowledge about it will make a deal.
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Thank you what you did say really helped
i was actually doing that without thinking
That’s a really life-changing tip
If you really think about it and think things through the pros and cons of doing something
you might have a hard time giving in to your lusts
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