this is the real me; feel free to judge
Im dealing with much more than just Regular Porn
as you can see in the title you could properly guess where this is going
But i have an issue
When i watch anime i tend to fall for the characters
and its a problem because There not real and they’re never going to be real.
I recently watched this Romance anime called Darling in the Franxx and the emotion and love between Zero two and Hiro was just so heart-tugging.
i cant tell if i seem to like zero two or i just admire her and hiro relationship
I don’t know who to blame
I don’t know what to do
I cringe when i see people have anime body pillows and small dolls of characters.( its in the last sentence)
i have used Porn whether its Hentai(Anime) or whatever is out there etc to escape reality but now i realised that i want to live and experience reality and not fantasy
Something changed in me- i cant look at porn the same again because i finally realized that its not real. i was just in a dark room with my phone trying to fantasize what could be and each time i did that i felt like i lost a part of myself.
I used to want to live in the anime world and I used to be like that world is so much better and it would be amazing. But the truth is if I lived in 2D I would be wishing that I was in 3D. I would be wishing to have this life.
I cant view porn the same nor anime girls/ characters and I cringe at all this merchandise that people consume posters, dolls, body pillows etc because its not real its all fake and no matter how much you call there name or dream of them or watch the anime shows ( over and over again) where they originate they will NEVER talk to you- see you- or acknowledge your presence.
damn even the pictures of my account and in my profile is anime/ i did not know this affected me on a deep level.
But my question is- Have you ever fell in Love with an anime character if so how do you make it so that it never happens again.
I don’t want to be this way
Its honestly painful
I used these different type of things to escape from reality but i dont want to live in fantasy no more
so i think i had a a crush on an anime girl before yup. and i am so embnaressed i actually do not want to tell the name xD -.-^ maybe another time xD
and you can not realy prevent it until you understand what crusch/love/atraction etc is to you and what it is biologically.
i would guess that you had a strong degree of emotional involvment with that character
i guarnatee you that you are not really in love with that character. you feel strong attraction towards vlaues optics and the idea of that character in your mind you know that xD that is nothing new.
however love is sth else for that you need some knd of intraction and as you already state you can not get that from fictional character until there is an AI for that
however it is let us talk a it more about why you actually got infatuaed witht hat character. there are diffrend mechanisms for attraction. one that is often ignored is that we find attractive what we wish to become. meanign that if a character represents values or characteristcs we admire that admiration of values leads to an admiration to that character. This is a first steo the second step is that you ahve to difrenciate attraction absed on thsi mechanism to attraction based on other mechanisms e.g. you have a degree of identififcation with a person and hence feel like you are similar and understand eachother etc… biothare mechanism for attraction and both have a valid point for existing. but these “attractiveness” mechanisms only do that make you feel attracted since you like thpose things. however you choose to “feed/increase” that attraction by imagining further → e.g. fantasizing… this leads to stronger feelings since you transfer th charactger from the story to another sotry in you mind the “what if situation”.
you can stop this with at least 2 methods.
stop engaging with that anime series and those fantasies therefore your feelings will fade overtime since the object of admiration will vanish form your mind when you occupy yourself with other thing ! important do not pine on the character you have to decide that you want to quit. and than try to understand why you actually feel this way.
this leads to
understand why youa re fantasizing these scenarips in whch circumstances do you start fantasizing adn what do you fantasize about. yopu can difrentiate those things and strive to achieve them or similar thing in really life and profit from that as a motivating factor. understanding what you desire and consider important in a person/relation ship is an important gift/information apreciate and cherish it
additionally to that it is important to actually validate your need for connection thatled to the development of feeling towards that character . maybe you were lonely or wnated to be seen etc… those are very basic human needs and it is completly normal to want to satisfy them. i would suggest fingindg out those need sof yours and what you would liek to do with that character and why you would lie to do that. and do that with freinds and family or engage with realy people who might be interested in those topics.
often these atraction as in " i admire that charactersitic" tell us what we actually want to cahge in ourselves and when we ahve done that we no longer feel the same degree of attraction to that eprson anymore. since we did not liek the person them selves but the idea of beeing like tht person when achieving that the attracton fades - atleast this type of attraction.
Loving an anime girl is not a problem. Just like loving a movie actress and character is also obviously okay.( comparing)
I had crush on Yuuki Asuna from Sword art online. Actually her eng dub voice is so heart warming and also her kindness.
Actually, what you love is a certain behavior of an anime girl. You see a girl in a romantic light and you also lack romance in your life so you automatically imagine her as your love. You love the way she talks or behaves. The smile or their kindness. The cuteness when she gets annoyed. ( haha I sound like a hopeless romantic) That’s actually the human behavior you love. And not fantasy 2d character
And if you find that behavior in a real girl, you will love her.
So don’t worry, you will find love in real life and you will be okay. ( I am assuming you are single like me)
I too have those problems, but not with anime… There’s a new Star Wars show coming out and I’m madly infatuated with the main character. I also objectified him which makes it hard for me to watch the show without cringing… But I still really enjoy the show and I want to learn how to look at him like a fictional character while enjoying his character and the plot, and not imagine being married/sleeping with him.
If you really feel that anime is holding you back you should cut it out. But I think it’s normal for us to see a character we really admire and imagine that they’re real and what we would say to them if they were. Its a little weird but everyone does it at one point or another.