Okay guys sorry about that I stopped as things started to get busy here by me.
So I will begin with my story:
Well from a young age I have gotten nephews from my sister. The eldest I met only when he was 5 yo and they moved back to our city.
I became like their father figure as they often lived with us and I had the responsibility to tend to them as my parents said they had their turn.
So when me and my nephews were very open towards each other as I had to check that they bathed or I had to bathe my younger nephew. So I made it simple we bathed together and we never had an issue later on to see each other nude.
As teens we were the same so it is like we eat, we bathe we sleep together as they often did as they were youn and afraid and we kept everything like it was.
It slowly became more complex as my nephew was the wild one and I admired him as part of me desire adventure and is a adrenaline jucky and it was cool. So we played the stupid game of dare truth and command and it didn’t end well as the problems started there.
I think this always hung over my head to please my parents and it lead to me pleasing more people and that is what I dislike about myself as I sometimes with my nephew especially given in to him as I wanted to remain close towards him to be cool and loved. So yeah I know very desperate, but it was me.
So with the game we kissed. And I didn’t think much about it and then we discussed sex and then my nephew exposed me to porn. He is younger than me, but like I said they lived more by me then their home as there home is so broken. His father was a drunk so I didn’t really know where my nephew knew about it, but my best guess is he caught a glips thereof by his father and then it rubbed off to me.
We had sexual encounters me and my nephew, but we didn’t penatrate each other it was more like the foreplay and like halfass handjobs, but never full on gay sex.
It started affecting me bad as I started hunger for more and the bullying also implied I was gay and you know I knew I had this like ‘gay’ encounter so I started believing it.
Also what worsened it was I girl I naively waited for until senior year in high school and then when I thought she would be comfortable of being my girlfriend she rejected me. So I reacted the following way.
I had made a close friend and I admitted to him I needed help as I felt sexually attracted towards him and I relied on him to help me to beat it, but he just left me.
Then I started my own way. I jumped from girl to girl and this wasn’t really me as I want to have a real love relationship not just fool around, but I loved the intimacy that I got from girls and also I enjoyed it more and also sometimes yeah I was like an ordinary guy just freezing up when they see a hot girl, but I never aimed for sex as I am saving that for marriage.
I left all these impulsive thoughts as I was in Germany and started ‘rebooting’ my life as a do over and thought on how to change me again.
I wasn’t happy in my old life in my own country and also what made things worse was the fact of the things me and my nephew had done. I know I did it as I was desperate and also I had huge lust for it for the pleasure.
I never knew my nephews reasons as to why he started in the first place. So that bothered me alot and I wanted to discuss it with him a lot of times.
I tried a load of times and was successful in my nofap reboot month and then everything made sense and I knew that I was killing myself with all the criticism I gave myself all these years and all the hate and all the disappointment I went through.
I was just an experiment of pleasure towards my nephew and it was weird as we are both straight guys. Yes, I am straight eventhough it doesn’t seem so, but I know I don’t wanna be gay as I don’t feel the need for it and it is only a desperation love tipe of thing and I don’t wanna stay desperate all my life for someones love or to beg for it.
And jip that is my sad past I have moved on from. And now what what is there left to discuss and why did I mention it you guys are probably wondering.
Well, I told you guys this as I said I want to be open and wanna discuss the situation freely and also to point out the mistakes I have made. Also some ideas will come out off this.
For exanple I had lived with my colleague and one day I accidentally walked in on him as he was drying himself off after he showered. Well, I had 2 good reasons why I did it. He was a local of the area and he was almost never at the house which the company provided and also I was mostly alone as he’d gone to his parents house.
Secondly I just woke up and it was dead silent in the bathroom and in most cases at the door would be slammed shut by the wind and I closed the door often as it scares the shit out of you to hear the door slam. So I have forgotten all about him and also thought he went out as the front door was also open. So then I walked in on him.
He was so weird about it and it never really bothered me. Also I had a guy I met at church and I also walked in on him nude in the same bathroom a week later as be went to get a shower and I was going to the kitchen to do the dishes and I didn’t hear him and the same situation was created with the door open and it was late and I did know where he went and with the nasty habit of not knocking just went in and he was cool with it and I was like wtf. But also you can’t really hear a thing on what is going on in the rooms as the walls are thick and being alone about 80% of the times.
So i am thinking why is it such an issue. Sure guys are shy about their bodies esspecially their package, but when I was with my nephews it was never a problem. So yeah guys lets get the chat up whats your thoughts on it
Okay the second guy also sound gay and I still sound gay walking in on nude guys right. But that is the problem. I think in my opinion we should be cool with it as