Gunsblazaing's diary


#122

Day 9 out of 9- next goal is 13 days:
Day 9 out of 13-
I have been very busy lately that I didn’t count the days. Days went by fast and yet I still expirenced the benifts.
Today was less akward, socialy; I was a very talkative person, people are starting to notice me and talk to me, throw jokes and I’m able to respond the way I want, just being me. I relaly liked how clam I was today, which that reminds me; I haven’t meditated in 3 days, never got the time to do it, I’ll do it today though. Hopefully tomorrow will be even better. Becouse today was PRETTY Good!

Peace.

hey @Aragorn how is it going man ? I haven’t been to the founrm in a couple of days. I saw your 7 days streak and I’m very, very happy you reached it. Now go past the 7 days go For 10 and keep increasing the days. Again, if you need anything in always here for you, and my brothers in the forum. I wish you and everyone the best of luck, and a great, happy life.


#123

Day 10 out of 13-
Today(which is yesterday;forget to update) was very strange, I was in a bad mood and a headache hit me, went to school but afterwards I got pretty tired and lazy so when I came back home I slept and woke up and then was in a better mode. I don’t know if it was lack of sleep and or what but it wasn’t the best day. Anyways and I think it was also becouse I got pissed off the night before yesterday and that played a part in the bad mode.


#124

Day 11 out of 13-
Today was different, today was good. Benifts are great. lookin fresh, have energy and i feel so energized the whole day. I’m optimistic and happy. I started to act normal and hang out with friends, not bad ones tho. I stay away from bad ones. It’s looking great and just what to keep going with this great streak.

Thing are pretty good right and will update tommrow. NO MORE LAZINESS.

Peace.


#125

Day 12 out of 13-
Checking in all’s going great, it’s been alright today went to school and came back still meditating and keeping my good habits going. Can’t wait to reach my previous streak and go past it.

Peace


#126

Day 13 out of 13 goal’s achieved I chosen 17 as my next goal:
Day 13 out of 17-
Today ( which is Yesterday) was nice, I practiced my hobby and was good at it, I felt like I was very in control over what I was doing and did a great job in it. I did it with passion and had energy to do it. I liked how calm I was today and chill. Threw jokes and was able to relate. Things are looking awesome. “Awesome” is how I’d like to describe Today :grinning: that’s it for today.

Peace


#127

Day 14 out of 17-
Today was fine, I had some urges but what I did was I acknowledged the thoughts of urges and gently pushed them away (headspace startegy) then after I had smaller urges and did the the same thing and then no urges I got busy with my hobby this weekend and was being productive. I just really like my Attitude and how postive it got. I’m able to think logically and do what I think is right. Still kinda sick but it’s going away little by little.
That’s it for today.

Peace.


#128

Day 15 out of 17-
I think I hit a flatine, a short one or maybe just a bad day, gotta watch out for what my brain looks for and never satisfie it, when it comes to my addiction. Today in the library I caught my self looking for sex related books and then spent some time there but never read or seen anything erotic. Had regret later but i caught myself in the right time. And made a note to never oookt for that bullshit ever again. Brain is very tricky but I won’t let it trick me into going back to my old shitty life. Will update tommrow for day 16.

Peace.


#129

OMG the lust is unbelievable, i keep lusting over anything, any EFIN thing. I keep looking for books that talk about sex, stupid me, I went to library and there were all kinds of books, most were sexual. They call it “romance” I didn’t see anything triggering but brain is lusting over everything. Its hella crazy but I’ll avoid them, I’ll forget everything about them. I’ll avoid anything that even has a slight chance or making me relpase I don’t want to go back to that shitty life. So that said. Here is my day:
Day 16 out of 17-
Morning: had tons of wet dreams but never released beocuse I wasn’t sleeping on my stomach. I was very worried in the dream and when I woke up I was quite happy… TRIGGERS. I have to avoid them at any costs, and if my brain uses books I’m reading as a way to go back to PMO well, then f books. I’ll get rid of anything that endangeres my streak and my journey on nofap. Once again Avoid all triggers you stupid brian, and stop lusting over bullshit. You cant go back to your old shitty life no matter what you try. THIS is your life now, it’s a better life so get used to it.
Afternoon: came back from school and was very akward I couldn’t talk to a girl I had a project with, got nervous and was acting weird. Tommrow be better. PLEASE GOD.
peace.


#130

Day 17 out or 17 next goal 21-
Well today was much better than yesterday I hope as more clam and more in contorl over my body. I didn’t lust over stuff and today was just normal. Nothing to exciting other than my benifts are still here and I experienced them. Confidence was pretty good. Had some good laughs from heart and not just fake ones. Trying my best to stay away from bad friends and bad company in general. One today tired to show me a song that has girls dancing and shit. I was like get that bullshit out of my face and turned my face. Other than that I’ll update tommorow.
Peace.


#131

Day 18 out of 21-
Just a couple of days before I really my last highest streak. But this time I’ll go beyond that streak and double it a million times. This time I’m ready, I’ve built my mine barrier, have all my defenses in tact and ready for anything that awaits me. I want to face my life, my future, accept responsibilities and live life. No more hiding behind that shitty addiction. I’m quite happy with my process, I’ve been braking every bad habit I had, and I did break many, still noticing some habits that I need to get rid off, just so I can live life to the fullest. Today was ok, just a normal day, still figuring out what to do about bad aspects of life, I’ll try new things day but day and find my way to a better life.

Peace

@Aragorn I saw you relapsing again man, what’s holding you back ? What’s so good about that shitty addiction that you just want to come back to it even after you broke the streak of 8 days last time. I don’t really understand why you’re attached to it still? Just give it up man live life, be your true self. If you need anything I’m here for you brother.


#132

I see you on day 7 champ

:muscle::muscle::muscle::muscle:


#133

Just read your diary… You are getting stronger and powerful.
Keep going.


#134

Indeed, day by day im getting better and better. Thanks for stopping by.
@Courageous


#135

Day 19 out of 21-
Today was awesome, I had my first full conversation about politics and religions and other stuff, I was able to give my opinion and respond to stuff being ask. Kept eye contact and felt very comfortable talking. I hadn’t had a conversation with giving my opinion and talking about things without leaving or not knowing how to respond and then im faced with guilt on why I said this and that, I should done this instead of this, Thoughts keep popping into my mind, but not this time. I said what I said with full confidence no holding back or losing eye contact or leaving or any of that which damn PMO had gave me… I’m being my self more I accept bring clam and funny at times. Just being my self, not trying to act up or pretend to be someone else. Noticed time was going rather quickly beocuse I enjoyed my day enough for time to pass by quickly. Really. I’m really happy with the process. Just one thing. I need to keep my gaze down, not looking anywhere else. Go on my way and that’s pretty much it…

Will update tommorow, peace.


#136

Day 20 out of 21- 1 day untill goal is achived.
All good things are great, im in work right now, have a really strong memory of things and more in control. That’s it. Can’t write a lot.

Peace.


#137

Congratulations :clap::clap:

This is also my goal to be myself, without giving importance to other people’s opinions.


#138

Day 21 out of 21- goal’s achieved, next 26 days -

Today was quite stressful had family issues but I didn’t get upset and was scared or anything like I usually do when things happen. I cheered up, I saw it as a problem that can be solved and didn’t hurt my head thinking about what could happen. Cheered up went outside a bit, drove, and came back home. My life is changing little by little, I’m feeling more in control over it. Feeling of shame when talking to others is fading away. So that’s that,

Peace.


#139

Day 22 out of 26-
Today was kind of a slow day, didn’t go to school, stayed home for most of today and then went outside. I read a book in the morning and wasted my time on video games, I haven’t played in a long while, and when I did, I felt time being wasted had Thoughts on how to use the time better. So after a couple of games I turned the console off. I used to not care about time back then when I played video games, I did today and felt like it was all a waste of time. Like I said in the afternoon I went out, didn’t where to go so I kept woundering around… and now am here writing the diary, well do prayer and meditate.

Peace.


#140

Just dont fap and dont watch something erotic… if you do nothing today and you didnt relapse… its all ok but if you relapse … you go back to zero… and you may waste a year or more to get back to day 22nd.

Save yourself.


#141

Thank you for the motivation brother.

@Courageous