Hey guys!!
I don’t want to bother much but I’m just doing one project and I need your help! Can you answer these two questions? Please:)
1. ** What all helps you against addiction**
2. What is the main cause of surrender
You can answer very briefly in one or two words…
Thanks a lot, stay blessed 
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- God
- The temptation is so great in the moment that it’s like nothing else matters but this urge. Then sadly if i cannot take control of it and/or distract myself, I fall.
Goodluck on your project 
May God bless you
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Excuse me for the long answer
What helps me;
God, prayer, confession, good priests, Jesus 
A good community; friends, elders, good people - non judgemental, caring, genuine.
People actually ‘look up to me?’… I don’t know, I certainly don’t feel worthy, but people feel at ease talking to me, and I with them. I’m extremely grateful for my church truly truly awesome people. My real home.
At times I’m shocked by God’s mercy and blessings. It is Astonishing when we find the time to pause and really think about it.
People I look upto and think;
“You are awesome!” I wanna be like you
There was this Romanian girl who joined our choir a year ago - she dressed a little weird, not great complexion, a little bit tubby, but beautiful eyes, lovely hair, and an amazing personality, aura, presence, always laughing, joking, great conversation, and very intelligent & outgoing, generous ~ an amazing, beautiful person.
My friend’s Dad. He admires that I’m sincere in prayer, and never fail to be in church first thing in the morning before work if I have time. He can ramble on about the world, theology, where young people are going wrong. The problems in the church and in Christianity - scandals, hypocrisy, over intellectualising and over emotional hysteria. He’s a real geezer, a proper dude, a buddy, I’d be ashamed to talk about p, only to say “I’m on Day 1 AGAIN” as far as he’s concerned, I’m someone with a rough/naughty past, but solely reliant on God, not sex, drugs and rocknroll ~ it’s very affirming.
I look upto my parents too, but he, my friend’s Dad. Because there’s no emotional bias, and nothing too close of a relationship, and like the Romanian girl, and well, a lot of people
I don’t want to let them down ~ People are praying for you, wishing for your best interests, and delight in seeing you do well
What else helps?
Hobbies,
Things to get excited about.
Excelling myself.
Routine commitments,
Routine communion with others,
the choir and solo singing psalms.
Going out of my comfort zone,
Being where people will ask for help.
Saying “yeah, why not?” even when it’s scary, or a distraction ~ Being distracted by others.
“Yes, Mike, what is it?” 
“Mike? Michael? Like Saint Michael…?” 
" Yes, I’m here, I’m listening Lord"
Reconciliation
A place to admit shortcomings,
Going to a friend when we’ve been wrong, knowing and admitting our faults ~ seeking God’s grace to shine in those moments.
Confession is a powerful Sacrament, its not something scary, but my true point of accountability, somewhere I can be simple, honest and factual, a place that brings me closer to God without human judgment or bias.
People can sometimes care too much, care so much as to satisfy themselves, that it can become burdensome. My Dad is a prime example, but I don’t hold it against him.
We’re all looking for answers, the truth, ultimately God.
With priests, it is their job to direct us to God alone ~ not their ideas and wishes.
This community has enriched my confessions profoundly, knowing I’m not alone in this struggle ~ the struggle being very common.
I’m now in a place where I want to go to confession regularly, not too be overly scrupulous or dwell on sin, but to have that time and spiritual journey with my priests, to recognise areas where I need healing, and areas where I can ask for opinion in the presence of God.
Hobbies
I’ve got this crazy fragrance habit -
An exploration into aromatherapy.
I’ve bought oils, samples, clones, fancy frags, classics, oldies, unfamiliar, bargains. And get kicks from frag reviewers on YouTube - snobs, douchebags, funny guys, weirdos - there’s only one I actually like ~ Collecting and learning is extremely satisfying.
Imagine you’ve never seen the colour green, that’s what smelling an unfamiliar frag can be like - “What on earth is this smell?”
I went sniffing around Debenhams to find a gift for my sister, and couldn’t stop smiling when I smelt something by Viktor & Rolf. Leaving the store on a high!
So in short,
Changing your environment
Having something to grow into/with ~ A never ending target.
Hobbies, Collecting, Learning, Aspiring, Community, Vision.
Being solely reliant on God - Faith, Hope and Love.
There’s always a new song to be sung,
Or to be written.
A new smell to be smelt.
A new prayer to be said.
More wisdom to be asked for.
A new environment to create.
Where I fall and surrender? 
No plan, no vision of the future / tomorrow.
Repression ~
like holding a basketball underwater -
one slip and ‘bam’, it hits you in the face.
What else?
Over working ~ Completing, accomplishing that work, exhausted, proud, wanting reward.
when it’s not a big deal, and never needed to be.
“What’s the point?” thinking.
Not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
“I’ll do it later/tomorrow” thinking.
And being far too intense about it all.
Forcing words.
Not finding balance, stillness.
Being unable to do nothing and sit quietly.
Again repression - telling myself I can’t/won’t/shouldn’t/don’t want to have a romantic relationship.
[False Chastity]
Monday morning,
Or a stressful Wednesday evening?
Having worked hard, or hardly working ~
Is a danger area.
A bored Saturday ~ mind drifting, desiring something other than I have.
Ungrateful, not recognising my blessings.
Feeling lonely, wanting to socialise but not placing myself where it would happen.
Feeling accomplished, as if no work is needed to be done, letting my guard down ~
another dangers area.
If I’m to be alone ~ it’s better spent, enjoying it, and delighting in solitude.
I can read, clean, cook, play music, shop, go for a walk, prayer, study, exercise, give my time to others, offer my help. Watch a film, eat ice cream, enjoy it and offer up my thanks for simple healthy pleasure.
They may sound like boring mundane things ~ until we expound on them.
Simply get up, pack your bag, and head to the gym. It’s a simple Yes or No.
Other things that help, get overlooked, taken for granted;
This community.
Being able to speak my mind without judgement,
Having companions.
Giving, receiving support.
And writing big posts like this, coming back to it, and making edits.
1 - God is in the detail, under all the rubble.
We’ve just gotta keep digging.
(The beautiful truth - simplicity - liberation)
2 - the devil is in the detail.
The trivia, doubt, worries, confusion.
All the rubble we pile ontop of God.
(Confusion - Complexity - Conflict - Entrapment)
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- God
- I surrender pmo because i wanna live closer to Jesus and away from sin. He’s given me his strengh.
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