From begging towards ending of addiction.(DIARY)

Helo everyone, as everyone has a diary I also thought to start one, so I can share my thoughts, experience and observations during this nofap journey, I am 20 years old male, addicted from last 5 years.

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Wlcm brother and all the best for your journey :clap:
Keep grinding keep hustling :muscle:
God bless you more n more

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I am afraid, I am going to relapse this weekend, I swear I don’t want to but I have nothing to do this weekend. It’s for the first time after 6 month that I didn’t relapse for 7 consecutive days and consistent with gym.i am falling in this zone to see er**ic movies.

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Whatever the situation we will learn from it.

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It’s my day 10 of nofap, i am not consuming any 18+ content but since last 4 days I am constantly dreaming of mas***tion and watching pn, and most importantly I am not feeling motivated to continue this streak, I doesn’t mean I want to relapse but you know it feels like I forgot my journey that how hard it is and how important it is to quit this, Is this normal feeling??

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It is normal when quitting an addiction to have dreams about it. The mind still wants to hold onto it. The same thing happens to people quitting drugs or alcohol.

Remind yourself why you want to quit. Think about which life is better for you, the life of an addict or the life of a free man. You will get all the motivation you need.

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Today i changed my phone, i was on day 15 and my streak start from beginning

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Accept it @darwaish this is real life , real stories is made with resistance , this is your story that you write it now , express and share everything you feel you do , we are around you , believe that you will quit and you will enjoy your life , No time to be afraid and try everyday new plan till you will enjoy it , you are the master of your life right now , pay for this pain now to enjoy it later .

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Well, i was going to gym last month and i had a streak of 15 days which was my first time since last 9 months, i these 15 days i gained a weight of 2kg and i was happy that i am improving (i am underweight beacuse of pmo of course) , then a day comes when i was having dinner with my friends and i go straight to gym without resting after meal. It was obviously a bad decision, when i return home i dont feel well and i got food poisoning , which persist for 2 days and i couldn’t even walk after 2 days, i become more weak and lost the weight that i gained, i quit gym and strart scrolling on insta which leads to a relapse of 5 times in 8 days.today i join gym and also got a membership , i will be consistent with my gym.
But the problem arise here that last month i was very motivated to quit pmo and make a strong personality, there were several reason one of which is, a girl which i became friend online, tell me that i am long, slim and a weak boy,(its been 3 years we are togather) i really feel it and i thought i will become the best version of my self, i really feel that i had never been able to show my potential as i am addicted since grade 8.as for as the present time is concern i joined the gym but i dont feel motivated, i dont even feel that i am underweight i become emotion less, senseless and everything less.