Finding a friend

Sharing code - ntizej

Current streak - 7 Days
Highest streak - 7 Days
Age - 19
Gender - M

So imma be honest with you , we all do reach that moment where your urges are so strong that they make you forget about all the reasons that made you want to quit fapping at the first place , at first i was masturbating 2 times a day everyday for the past 2-3 years , i didn’t know why i was masturbating or what the heck was masturbation , it felt good just doing it , later on when i found out that masturbation is a thing and it was addicting i didn’t want to stop , i had no absolute reason to stop , i was happy being that introvert kid who had no problems , nothing at all tbh.
last year ( my last year in high school ) i’ve seen the most beautiful girl my eyes have seen , I thought she’s my special someone and i still do. i wanted to talk to her , be friends with her , being 18 and thinking about a girl in every way but in a sexual way was something special for me , just thinking about her made my urges despair for a quite some time , i won’t say i had never fapped after it , but let me tell you , just her image was the reason i kept trying and trying even when i failed , i got up and tried again
but i never did talk to her or even try , 18 years of isolation and being introvert and avoiding everything for the sake of being safe and never get hurt were enough to stop me from doing it…now i regret it so much i got depressed and even fapping 3 times a day didn’t give me a dopamine boost enough to get me through the day…
i was disgusted of myself and till this very moment i still hate myself for every choice i had made and made me this person i’m today , a person with no friends a person with no self confidence a person with no presence in his own life , and you might be wondering how did you even reach 7 Days of nofap after fapping 3 times daily ? honestly most of it was procrastinating , but hope is what enforces it , hoping and waiting and preparing myself for that special day when i met her and be confident enough and truly worthy to approach her , knowing that this day may never come , that’s why i need a friend , someone to encourge and remind me why i started in the first place. someone to share everything with , without being ashamed…

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