I wrote this on the message board in the app but will share it also here:
I have been maturbating to porn for a long, long time, almost 25 years (currently in my 40’s), and want to stop it. I am currently seeing a therapist which instructs me how to heal from this addiction and have deleted hundreds of gigabytes of videos, images and music which fueled it, and also threw my computer thinking that it will help. But now, just using my phone and my iPad mini, I still relapse, sometimes ejaculating twice a day, and after that feeling so low it kills me. The thing is, I am getting aroused by cartoons, drawing from artists of very busty, tall, sometimes even giantesses, girls and women, who are accompanied by shorter men which are often immasculared by them. As I have never had a successful relationship with a woman, maybe I am intimidated by them?
Also, being currently unemployed makes it even worse.
I hope I will stay strong and fight this poison that ruins my life. I have just found this community - maybe you all can help me with my struggle.
Welcome to the community brother, and congratulations on taking the next step in overcoming the addiction!
You’re in a great place to do so; you’ll find people are very engaging and supportive around here. We understand the struggles all too well. There’s a wealth of knowledge and experience here to learn from in your journey. And there is hope, some people have passed 3 years free and beyond!
Concerning your post, I would recommend that you spend some more time reflecting and investigating the root causes of the addiction. That moment of revelation really provides you with extra strength to push through and succeed. Dig deeper and understand that feeling of intimidation you described. In terms of fetishes, you’ll find that with longer time spent abstaining from pornography and masturbation, your attraction returns to normal levels. I too was interested in cartoons and supra-normal bodies as well as a few other fetishes. I’m on day 71 by God’s Grace and I can feel those attractions fading away. It may take a bit longer depending on the level of addiction, but there surely is hope.
Hope to see more of you around here. Best of success in breaking free.
Anyone can change his life at any point of time. You are lucky that you realized the situation in your 40’s. There are people who die as an addict & as slaves to their desires.
Congrats… For your start to get Freedom. You can do this, anyone can do this.