FHUREEEDUMMMM (ChristianMans Diary)

HIYAAA!!! Hi my name is ChristianMan I’m a minor and a male :slight_smile: I’ve been addicted to PMO for I wanna say 6 years give or take… I have just started reading easypeasy and I’m already feeling great!!! I’ve still got a lot to work on but that’s what I’m documenting here!!! Love yall so much!! GOD bless!!!

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Its really good to see you start this journey at such a young age​:slightly_smiling_face::slightly_smiling_face:. Nothing to add brother, all the best for your upcoming days.

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Check in: Day 2 Completed :white_check_mark: Here’s what I did today:
:white_check_mark:School 7 hours
:white_check_mark:Read my nofap journal
:white_check_mark:Went to the park with my dog
:white_check_mark:Prayers
:white_check_mark:Church 1 hour

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Day 3
:white_check_mark:School 7 hours
:white_check_mark:Band Practice 3 hours
:white_check_mark:Prayers
:white_check_mark:Time on phone 1 hour approximately
:white_check_mark:Talking with friends
:white_check_mark:Talk with Mom

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Day 4✅
:white_check_mark:Prayers
:white_check_mark:Listening to Audiobook the easypeasy way
:white_check_mark:School 7 hours
:white_check_mark:Band 2 hours
:white_check_mark:Talking with friends
:white_check_mark:Controlled urges
Body is similar to what you recently posted lol

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Day 5✅
:white_check_mark:Prayers
:white_check_mark:Listening to EasyPeasy Audiobook
:white_check_mark:Biked a little above a mile
:white_check_mark:Jamming to music
:white_check_mark:Talking with family
:white_check_mark:Recorded part of a video
:white_check_mark:Played guitar
:white_check_mark:Defeated a HUMONGOUS urge!!! I’m so proud of myself aaaaaa!!! :smiley:
GLORY TO GOD!!!

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I relapsed​:x::x::x:
I’m scared I’ll never beat it if I can’t beat an urge…

I’ve got to quit thinking I’m giving something up… This is rediculous… I’m screwing everything up, and for what!!! Like 2 seconds of pleasure!!! I hate addiction… I don’t understand why… I wish I could just quit man… I relapsed again if that wasn’t clear. GOD bless!!!

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Porn is difficult to give up because of the fear we’re being deprived of our pleasure or prop. The fear that certain pleasant situations will never be quite the same again. Fear you’ll be left unable to cope with stressful situations. In other words, it’s the effects of brainwashing deluding us into believing that sex – and by extension orgasm – is a must for all human beings. Even further, it’s the belief there’s something inherent in internet porn that we need, and that when we stop using we will be denying ourselves and creating a void.

Make this clear in your mind: Porn doesn’t fill a void, it creates one!

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Day 1 :white_check_mark::white_check_mark::white_check_mark:!!! Nothing to document today!! GOD bless!!!

Alright Imma throw something onto the table… I just passed one of the biggest urges EVER!!! I mean I literally edged for like a second but I’m not counting it as a relapse because of how this all went down… Ok so the shower is one of my biggest triggers… I just got out of it… I was in there and images of this girl at school that triggers me big time was coming up a LOT!!! And I was like this close to giving in ​:pinching_hand: Normally I would just give in and try not to think about it and to relapse… This time I was literally trying to sit down and relapse but I was restraining myself… Like I could not bring myself to do it… Like at one point I bent over and then I hit my head on the wall on purpose to fight the urges lol… And then I put my hand on the showet handle and was again this close :pinching_hand: to getting out this time… And then I let go and thought about it for a moment… And I was convincing myself like “You’ve been through this before you’ll just say you fought the urge really well this time” This was the point where I edged for a second to try and get myself to sit down but I was like, NO!!! So I quit that IMMEDIATELY!!! And then did an uno reverse card and put my hand back on the shower handle and tried not to think about getting out and just do it, and I did!! I GOT OUT AND IM SO PROUD!!! Not so proud of the edge for like a second but I’m not focusing on failure and focusing on success right now… Will yall let me know if you think this is a relapse though? Like I want the communities response!! GOD bless!!!