Feeling worthless, help

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  • How long have you been trying nofap? [2 years]

  • Did something change during this time, which is relevant for your current problem? [Everything]

  • What is the problem you need help with?

  • In which situations does the problem occur?

  • What did you already try?

I relapsed last night and the day before.
I lost control, I lost motivation, and lost my reason for no fap.

I feel worthless, or maybe worst, I feel like I deserve the bad, and don’t deserve the good. I may sabotage myself , to fail, to suffer. I feel like I should suffer. I shouldn’t be happy, I’m not worth it. I hate myself.

This scenario repeats itself, when I feel lonely and alone,when I feel I’m not loved, when I feel like I’m begging people to pay attention but none is there.
Eventually I go to random chat websites, sext there, or I go to porn.

I tried putting a schedule to keep myself busy, I couldn’t commit, cause always something will pop up and ruin my schedule, something urgent.

I tried to walk and pray,

I wish I can cry and release all the negativity I’m feeling.

1 Like

Hi Rab, I’m really sorry you feel this way. There’s no shame in crying or feeling bad about relapsing. I relate to what you’re saying perfectly since I’ve been in the same situation several times in my life.

Even though we do not know each other I want to tell you that as a stranger I care about you and hope you gather the strength to keep fighting your addiction.

You do not need to suffer in silence, I advise you to talk to anyone who cares about you about your situation and perhaps if necessary seek some professional guidance from a counselor or a psychologist.

I’m also here if you wish to talk or just need someone to listen.

You are a beautiful human being and you are loved. Never forget that.

  • Jin.
1 Like

Thanks alot for your positive comforting message,

Will try again, will keep going :slight_smile:

1 Like

There is a website for emotional support. I haven’t used it in quite a while. I think it was called 7 cups of tea. You can go there and share your thoughts and feelings with a listener. It helps.

Also, I have been in your position for a very, very, very long time. I know exactly how you feel, because I have felt the same thing. Relapse after relapse…feeling of nothing happening and not going anywhere, not achieving anything and deserving nothing but ignorance.

Sadly, I can not tell you a formula, an excercise to do in order to stop feeling this. But what I can tell you is that your thoughts are a movie that is going on in your head. You feel them as real, but they are not - they are just your imagination. Trying to repress them won’t do anything - they might disappear and then reappear in different form. I think it’s up to you to find your own way of dealing with them.

I, personally, just let the thoughts go through me. It was emotionally uncomfortable - I stayed in bed and cried a lot. But guess what happened after all that - they almost disappeared. I still have black thoughts, but they don’t bother me very frequently and aren’t as strong as they used to be.

It might take time and a lot of uneasy emotions, but after that you will feel way better and more mature. Nofap tends to surprise people with anxiety and depression.

I’m sorry, but I don’t think there is a comfortable way out. Either let the emotions come in and pass, or find a licensed therapist for professional help.


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