I can empathize with you bro. It’s a tough time and it will pass for sure. You have a great life ahead of you. 
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Thanks brethren,
Hows your journey going ?
Keep the faith my friend. Your actions define you and your best is always good enough. You will succeed. What a great victory to look forward to.
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Thanks patrick,
Faith moves Mountains.
Hey bro, it’s good that you are willing to own it.
Please also find a counselor for yourself Find a counselor who will make you face the dark side of you, and beat it. You cannot do it on your own.
This goes deeper than ■■■■. Find that root with a counselor and destroy it. Otherwise you are only fooling yourself. The plant will come again unless you uproot it.
When you feel you are safe for your family to return, then bring them back. If you can make sure you are still calling them and speaking with them.
If you believe that the possibility of abuse even remotely exists, do not bring them back yet. Not until you are able to overcome those dispositions for abuse.
It is possible to overcome. Put in all the effort you need to on your part. Pray for God’s guidance in your life. Let Him help you where you cannot help yourself.
A book that has helped me significantly is the Desire of Ages. Check it out 
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