What is your opinion on sexual thoughts and fantasizing? Do you think it’s inevitable? Is it the same as porn? Whem fantasizing becomes more soft core is it a progress? Can you heal yourself even if your mind play tricks on fantasizing?
no I can’t… its killing me inside. habit became life time friend who comes sometimes and fades way with self doubt🙂
From my experience I noticed that every fantasizing when there is no girl within the distance of 1 meter next to me and willing to have sex with me is bad. Every fantasizing cause relapsing over time.
Quick tip - rubber band.
Why is it effective and how?
I work in a furniture store at ceramics department as a student. And there are a lot of people (especially girls) who come with their parents. And they don’t care how they dress up because it’s… well it’s a furniture store, not a party ahha… so they wear shorts, leggings,… and it’s really, really hard to avoid looking and fantasyzing.
And that is root of an urge taking place in my mind. It’s there now. It’ll grow. I let it inside my brain. How does one avoid that?
Rubber band around the wrist. Every time you get a thought or later, urge, you smack yourself with that rubber band. Your mind remembers that little 3 seconds of pain and “thoughts” become less and less frequent, because… well, because you don’t like to be in pain. First day I literally had to smack myself 100+ times. Now it’s still around 5-20 times per day and my goal is to never use it in a whole day of work.
Requirements : rubber band and self-awareness. Hope it helped
I will try to do the same.
My rule is, i see a chick in real life, undress her in my mind a little bit for a little while, it’s not a problem. No big deal, because it’s biology and as men, we are born with that sex drive, we are designed and evolved to do that. But, that’s all it is, fantasy, i either act on it, try to talk to her, get her number if i can, try to flirt. if it hits off, okay, let’s see where this goes, if it doesn’t and it get rejected, meh, swing and a miss, let’s move on.
But, if i see a hot picture, and fantasise about THAT, OR, try to purposefully build up fantasies based on my porn memories, OR try and fap later on based on that fantasy I had earlier in the day, if I even touch my junk with that mentality, it’s a fucking relapse. I don’t fap to fantasies, I don’t fantasise about pixels or porn, no matter what. If i’m using my sexual energy, i’m spending it on real people, if I can’t, i’m spending the energy on things in life that matter to me. After all, this journey has the goal of being attracted to real girls too, right? If i fantasise about actual girls I see on the street, in the moment or get boners and have the urge to bang her, I’m building up neural pathways corresponding to attraction to real people, I guess that’s a good thing, the reboot is actually working. Doing not much harm, just random thoughts that flash through my head. I acknowledge them, feel them for a bit, then move on. Never chase the rabbit.
But if i take the fantasies home, based on porn or girls, or pictures and try to edge with them, i’m enforcing the PMO pathways I have built up and i’m trying to kill. I’m going back to the beta. Nope. I don’t wanna go back to that. Hope this helps. If you’re going total brahmacharya religious or whatever reasons, stick with that and seek advice to never even have fantasies. This is just my approach, you are free to disagree with me.
Thank you, its effective… When i lost my focus with sexual thoughts while working on a project, i smacked my hand with the rubber as hard as i can. It really bring my awareness back to my mind… Awesome tips
No problem, I’m happy I could help:)