Failure because of lack of commitment

I found out after relapsing that the number one reason I continue to fail is because of lack of commitment. I always have the feeling to look at porn even though I tell myself I want to quit and need to quit. It is like I’m always having battles in my mind on if I should watch porn or if I should stop; It really starting to mess up everything I am trying to achieve. I can’t even stay commited to losing weight , I would usually go 1 or 2 days on the new diet than see junk food and eat it like I wasn’t trying to lose weight. This is the only thing holding me back from succeeding at nofap.

Please if it is poosible; tell me how to become committed to doing things.I’m tried of failing but my motivation to stop is just too low.

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Okay, one thing at a time.

First off, well done you’re doing this in the first place :+1:
I’m 36, so to me, it’s an amazing thing you’ve set for yourself - this is a reward in itself.

Secondly, commit firstly to reflecting on the small things you’ve achieved that day.
If you’ve not fapped for a day, that is brilliant,
If you have fapped, but you’re reflecting on it, that is brilliant too, at least you haven’t spent all day on porn, and made time (commitment) to reflect on it - and hopefully spent some time checking into this app, sharing in this community.

Keep posting, Keep asking questions and you will stumble across the answers :pray:

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Writing out goals and ideas helps alot actually. Kinda seems like a waste when u think ’ oh. I have a game plan in my head’ but having it on paper makes it real and tangible… get a lil notepad and start journaling too. Start wit your goal. Write out steps that will help you with this goal. Actions you can take… solutions… your triggers… plans on beating urges. New hobbies you can do to fill your time . Then journal as much as u like bout progress AND even relapse. You can write what happened and caused you to relapse… I think the brain is very visual. We can daydream all we want but seeing something physical in front of us makes it more reality. This is something I just started. I need to be more consistent with it.

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Thank you for the knowledge you have shared with me. The more I know now💫

Do you think it would be a good idea to make a list of my goals on this app journaling tab or on a piece of paper.

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Really depends on your preference. I’m a lil old school I like pen to paper but whatever you are comfortable with

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The most important thing is that you make that list. It’s a good idea to have it somewhere that you can pick it up and look at it when you need to.

I wrote down my goals in a physical journal, then I made a digital copy as well which I can access on my phone or my laptop.

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Just fight man, and never give up. You give up the fight and you will lose to your urges. Realise it’s you under control or your own body. Those urges will never be big enough to force you to do anything, but if you allow the urge to grow and grow that’s when you fall. Fight everyday.

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I need commitment too more than ever

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Lack of commitment seems to be a general theme in my life. Even in wanting to choose a career (what I want to do for the rest of my life). As some others are already dead set on these goals.

Ultimately, it comes back to my mind wanting “TO DO IT ALL” or “try everything”. So maybe narrow down your options? I can rationalise everything including fapping. As I normally see two sides of the same coin. But just think that the more I restrain myself, the more i can build self-discipline.

As Aristotle have said, “true abiding happiness comes from the exercise of our capacities, skills and talents. It is a commitment to excellence not to pleasure”. Or so it goes.

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:smiley:

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I have the same problem with choosing something to do for the rest of my life. I really don’t like just doing one thing everyday; the only thing that I would enjoy doing every is boxing and taking things part and learning how they work but I suck at school. No matter how much I study I get it wrong because it seems like my teacher always add something new to the lesson everyday.

I can’t comit to anything many because watching porn has took away my interest in things I once enjoyed. It really does create the feeling of confusion when i see other people that already know what they want to do because I don’t understand why they want to do one thing forever; that sounds boring.

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Are you still in high school or Uni bruh?

Maybe I suggest becoming a mechanic or something practical that you enjoy? If you like taking things apart.
Here in Australia we have trade institutions. If ppl dont want to go Uni.

Ultimately, if we dont try it, we might never know that its what we truly enjoy nomsaying.

Mentally, i think we’re both similar especially on the “fear of boredom” part. Ive heard quite a lot that people fap when theyre bored as well haha.

The lesson ive been applying is sticking with one thing at a time until its completed. Including my current degree.

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I was just gona say mechanic or a trade as well… something to look into… and homie is 17 I think his profile says? @iwanttobehappy are on the right track tryin to quit porn so early. I am 33 and it’s not any easier

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I’m still in highschool right now but my grades are bad so my chance of going to a university is very low. I heard about trade school before from my mom but I don’t know what it is. I also want to be a boxer because I have a strong passion for fighting.

So a trade would be like electrician, plumbing, construction, mechanical- auto. Aircraft etc…pretty much careers classified as " blue collar" but they make decent $$ and these jobs will always be around… do you go to any boxing gyms or like YMCA or somewhere?

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I live in a small town where their isn’t anything but stores; there isn’t a boxing gym here but their is one in a city about 45 minutes away. The only problem is my mom work a lot and I don’t know how to drive so I can’t really do go there. Most of the day I just watch boxing videos on YouTube studing what they do. If I had a boxing gym where I lived I would train about 4 hours a day on school days and 9 on weekends.

Aw yeah kinda crappy living in a small place like that… maybe you could find someone on FB by you that shares a boxing passion. Would help to be able to practice with someone

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