Emmanuelsimon993's Diary - I think I like this employee at work & she likes me? + my energy and my urges are very HIGH HELP ME!

#1

It’s only Day 11 of my reboot and this energy inside of me is back and it’s more intense than ever!!! the most intense I’ve felt it in comparison to my previous Day 20s and I feel more alive inside, I feel this particular powerful energy a lot more prominent in my chest area, Monday never felt so great for me! just by my own feelings!

Last week for me was a complete flatline getting back on board to my target even on my Day 7, 8’s, 9’s and 10’s, my testosterone levels made me act like a complete ignorant person and at the same time I wasn’t living up to my usual duties at work and voluntary work, it felt like their wasn’t going to be a sign of a light at the end of the tunnel but today…what a fucking amazing game changer!!!

But here’s a problem! my urges are so fucking high today! I was at work on my internship job in the morning today, I was watching and keeping any eye on a tech run of a play we have in production.

So I’m just sitting down on my chair and Mr long Benny in my trousers began doing a game of sit ups and he wasn’t stopping.

It was was one of them moments when you know no one notices your dick goes mad hard but you still feel ultimately embarassed? lol well that’s how I felt, what made it worse was this head employee who I think likes me? and always says “Hi” to me and I think I genuinely having a liking for, walked in eating, sat down next to me and started talking to me about the stage set up my dick went mad rock solid, so solid I didn’t think I’d have a chance of moving from my seat for the rest of lunch time, I just played it cool leaned back on my seat and continued talking to her.

It was one of those moments where I wanted this girl to just GO!!! JUST so my dick can have a piece of mind and get back to sanity AT WORK!!!..in God’s name she left the building and told me “See you later” (Hopefully at a romantic place if I’m lucky :grin::laughing:) anyways me and my dick was in a mental fight UNTIL…my head technician told me to do a duty and put a mic pack on charge…FUCK ME!!! WHY!!! I had no choice but to stand up and put my hands in my pockets.

Luckily for me he was a row above behind me people was there but it was a position where I can bend over, lean my leg to reach his radio Mic pack and turn around quick and not embarrass myself looking like a complete muppet, I did it! and surprisingly no one noticed as I ran to the closest pillar whilst talking to my head technician and then ran to the closest door!! Hallelujah!!!

No Fap is a huge benefit in terms of goals but the urges are deadly in social situations! yesterday my dick was as floppy as a rubber glove and today it was as solid as a vibranium rod and no matter what I try to do I can’t stop thinking about this girl at work that I always see, I think I like her she’s what you would call “average looking” but I think I like her but here’s a problem and I know I shouldn’t put my confidence beneath status but she’s got a big position at work she could be at least 4 or 6 years older than me by scratch I’m only 25…HELP ME!!! she’s another girl who’s recently been on my mind very strongly no matter what I do! or where I go she’s been on my mind! and for the first time in a while I’ve felt legitimate solid urges over an ACTUAL girl I think I like…HELP ME! I feel if I make a move I’ll just end up embarrassing myself I don’t even know if she’s taken??? lol but if she is it makes no sense why she’s randomly popped up in my head constantly

Remember my last post about how I explained the universe is on your side when you have a good strong faith and gives you choices well this is one of them! what do I do? I am a confident person but when it comes to the ladies I flop completely! and IT’S the first time I ever felt a public urge is a while too any advice guys?!

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Day 14 and 15 Going out for walks are the best thing
Day 16 (I'm a lot more alert and I now can stand up more for myself)
(Day 12) Probably just a phase.....FUCK THE FLATLINE
Craving for Junk Food and energy drinks Is high!
I just Relapsed 3 times 😠 (But I'm Turning the negative in to a positive)
#2

Interesting Story, looks like a movie. :smile:
Very good writing skills bro.

I think you should enjoy more with her. There is still time to think about that but first dont relapse…

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#3

Currently at work as I write this, my emotions got the best of me yesterday when this girl sat next me and my urges was mad elevated but as of today and now “I feel normal”, a bit more chill, I mean in that moment when my dick went rock solid my mind was when my personal preference, emotions and strength went in to automatic submission , every guy here should know what I’m talking about it’s even bad when it’s AT WORK!.

I still agree with what I said yesterday in that moment in time even though it was pretty crazy because my body is still rebooting, my male testosterone had me very deluded yesterday and a bit ego driven because of all this core energy inside of me and when that core energy gets mixed up with a huge horny urges that’s a lethal combination and it’s a challenge to keep my feelings intact but I got through it and I currently speak to you guys here on Day 12.

I still feel the energy inside of me today but it feels more calm and I feel a bit more humbled and thankful I made it through another day, as they say my future self will laugh at this post I will find my best version of myself I will fulfil my 100 days and continue this streak! I know I’ll have my amazing days and my off days but that’s just life abd I will tackle it…

Let’s start with today was a major fail I made a soundcard fall off of some stage deck all because my co technician told me to move a duty ladder on this awkward fucking platform!!!.. (and the worst thing is I could’ve tell my co technician to stop it from falling or to move the soundcard), again my ego plays me!!

I tried to take another power nap today on my break at work as I got up walking one of my co employees asked for a measuring tape and holy Fuck me again it was directly on my left hand side!!! the annoying thing is I saw it earlier in the workshop and I could’ve react a lot more quicker when he told me! and there’s me telling myself "It’s only Day 12, you shouldn’t be even be counting remember? and yet you’ve come so far but you still have a long way to go) it’s like I correct myself with one thing, inprove on it while a huge boulder hits me out of nowhere again!

But am I going to relapse just because?! NO!!! No! No! No! the creator of the universe is testing
me, that’s the most important test before anyone else “tests me”.

I’m gonna keep rising and grinding, bussing all these demonic nuts is a big excuse to failure fuck that! I’m developing a positive frequency! guys never give in to failure because it equals to any negative addiction which becones contagious don’t let the demons and negative people purposely make you fall in that trap! now as I reach to the last paragraph guys, I’m about to leave work to continue and finish my Day LET’S GO!!!

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#4

Agreed man we can’t let the urges, emotions control us we will beat this shit

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#5

I had the same problem. The extra energy is easy to turn into rage or hornyness. Stay strong brother. You have a lot of determination in you. Keep it up :raised_hands:

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#6

Yeah rage is something nofapers gotta deal with alot emotions are a mess in the beggining

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#7

Yeah. But can we dissolve rage through greater NoFap streaks?

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#8

Yes by learning how to control our emotions

#9

Difficult choices, easy life.
Easy choices, difficult life.

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#10

My first time hitting 70 days I felt like a silver back gorilla. Every little thing, will annoy you. It all comes down to willpower.

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#11

Day 13 today and I notice that for the past day or two my cravings for Junk Food and energy drinks have been ridiculously mad high in comparison to when I was off No Fap.

Not that eating junk effects my weight anyways cause I’m a person with very high metabolism, who’s a very tall and skinny person who’s active takes walks, goes out and talks to various people it’s not like I sit my ass at home daily, playing Call of Duty or watching Netflix, I go out and actually socialize with people, even when I am at home “doing nothing” I’m either writing a song, listening to music, playing piano or writing a No Fap blog like now and watching No Fap videos on youtube.

I’m looking to change the way I eat because even though it may not effect me on the outside in maybe 10 or 20 years it could effect me more on the inside and then show so I’m looking to change the way I eat, whenever I crave junk food it would usually be coloured gelatin sweets, chocolates lile Mars, Snickers, Bounty, Twix, crisps like MCcoys, Cheetos, Walkers, Monster Munch they taste good but it obviously isn’t good for me lol

I would also want energy drinks, I used to drink energy drinks as a “kickstart” and “boost” after I relapsed because it would give me extra energy and benefits “like No Fap” throughout the day but it would be very temporary energy and I still wake up pure tired in the mornings.

I’m currently craving more energy drinks than I would off of No Fap with high glucose in it like Lucozade original/orange, V, Red Bull e.t.c it gives me way too much energy than I already have but I mean I could be far worse in this predicament and be edging and I disappoint myself but I’m proud to say I haven’t it’s just the junk food addiction…and I’m on no predicament to do fasting at all or turn vegan or vegtarian so that’s out of the equation.

I’m just going to try and start eating good carb foods and more natural food with alkaline in them but yeah these energy drinks feel like steroids drinking them now whilst I’m on No Fap lol what do you guys think?

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#12

Try a 24 hour fast that will help in detox.

#13

You should avoid junk food & energy drinks.
Energy drink is nothing but high dose of sugar & coffee. It gives instant dopamine but what goes up must come down very quickly and it hits you a rock bottom after you have climbed the high mountain. Its very bad.

:scream: These foods may cause a Wetdream.

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#14

IMO when you’re quitting an addiction it’s okay to rely on lesser addictions to take the edge off. If fapping was a big addiction for you (I assume it is) then go ahead and cope through junk food, video games, etc…Worry about quitting those addictions when either the cravings subside or you’ve gotten to a more comfortable point in your streak.

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#15

Not sure if I agree with that man, Quitting addiction and building new, good habits go hand in hand. I think that anyone who has been serious about nofap for a prolonged period of time has noticed that it’s easier to replace your bad habit (pmo) with a good habit (going to the gym, meditating, etc) than to just sit aroud waiting for the adiction to ‘go over’. You kill 2 birds with one stone.

Quitting an old bad habit and starting new good habits can be a bit overwhelming from time to time, but in the end it’s a far better strategy than coping with other adictions that you consider less worse.

Another advantage about trying to form new, good habits is that they give you a great boost in (mental) energy when you do follow through with them, which in turn helps you with beating bad habits.

#16

Lol At my rate if I fast I’d probably die if I’m honest

#17

Well everyone is different, it’s very subjective to say everyone has gone down a 100% positive path on No Fap, people are different, especially those who’s been binging all their life and people who hasn’t and only done it twice… and like I said I’ve been doing “good habits” even before No Fap like going Chinese kickboxing, performing arts activities and speed walking, only difference now is I can easily get out of bed much earlier without hesitation and more increased energy that’s it really.

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#18

I’m not saying everyone on nofap has been going a 100% positive route in their life after nofap but I highly doubt whether anyone’s quality of life got worse because of pursuing nofap. Also, I was specifically talking about people who have been at this for quite a while.

You say you can get out of bed more easily and that you have more energy, that’s good right? Find a way to channel your urges and sexual energy into ways to make yourself productive. It’s not easy but it will help you a lot on your journey. Also, one of the main reasons to do nofap for me is to get a healthy sex life again and to get realistic views of the female body and of what sex is again. Because I have such a goal, every day without pmo is already a step forward. Even when that day was a really shitty day.

Best of luck man

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#19

I had another mad urge yesterday, worse thing was I was home alone when I just came back from work early so I was at home 2pm, I decided I’m going to take a long walk regardless if it was cold like hell because I don’t know if you hear the rumour about how savage London has been in regards to weather this past month, anyways took about a 35 minute walk and I meet a friend of mine I haven’t properly seen in about 4 years or so.

So yeah just advice guys if you feel crazy urges AT HOME a long walk really kills it off NO MATTER how the weather is, for me the cold made me more immune since I take hard-core cold showers in the morning now, currently Day 15 going about again for a walk.

Right now in the next hour I’m going to see a show at my local theatre, socialize go home, record some music, then take a walk again and repeat.

I’m gonna also change it up by going gym soon, falling is for losers no more jacking off to soft core porn, still healing in this reboot cause those images are still trying to consume my mind but I ain’t allowing it to takeover cause I have that will power to rise! taking walks and do energetic activities constantly is way forward to success and being your best version of yourself!

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#20

We are on the same path wish you all the best emmanuel this year belongs to us! 2018 is ours

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