Dvija's Diary " The story of success"

Dear Myself! I know you are stuck somewhere that you do not belong to. It is painful, I know. But, my dear self I am cutting every chains that are binding you. I will make you free my dear self. Trust me. I’m making you proud day by day

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Dear self! Listen one thing. I know that I have done so much injustice to you…i have misused and abused you. But remember! I’am on the way to deliver you the justice. I promise to give you every good thing that you deserve. I love you dear self. Please listen…this…From the energy and purity of 1000 days of nofap, I am burning every bit of negative energy that is killing me.

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Oh my mind please be quiet…oh my senses please do not show any tantrums…oh my intellect please be strong…oh my body please heal…oh my dear self please be tranquil like a lake in the Himalaya…Because I’m on the great mission of my life!! 1000 days of glorious no fap. I do not entertain any thoughts, actions or vibrations that drain my energy or that make me feel guilty afterwards. Oh my mind please be firm and be aware of my commitment!

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Wow!! I woke up at 4:00 am feeling fully fresh. My sleep duration is decreasing!!
Dear self, You know, I’m going 90 KM away today for official purposes. Plz be ready. Plz get prepared. I’ve to do best through my work.Wow!! Let’s go…

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Woww!! I’m travelling early in the morning…little cold here in Kathmandu. Cool air…empty roads…tea smells…and good music! I wish whoever read this to have a lovely day. I wish you a powerful and productive day.

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I’m too much tierd today​:sob::sob:. After all day travel and work I’ve just reached home. I am not in the mood to eat anything. I just drank luke warm water to ward off gastritis. My legs are paining…hurting…my eyes are dry due to winds and late night travel. I’m tierd. I’m sleepy. My whole body is paining. But, My spirit is HIGH. No one stop me now. I have to do this for me by me. I’m a strong man. I have to walk my talk. Moreover, I’m a sincere man. I love myself. Now, sleep well dear self.

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Hello my dear friends! Some of you have been messaging me but I’m reducing my screen time to as shortest as possible due to some issues…only for official purposes…Therefore, I may not be able to reply to your messages. I’m sorry for that…I’ll be here just to give some updates till 50 days. I’m having a lot of problems…so much work pressure…legal cases in court…health issues…body aches and mental fatigue…Now also my body is aching due to day long travel and work. Whoever read this, I pray to God to have your desired streak completed. Keep me in your prayers. I need your love…i need your support.

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Hey man, I support you. Keep going strong, you’ve suffered so much to get to where you are. Make that suffering worth it and continue going forward. I wish you the best of luck. God speed
Stay strong brother :muscle:

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I shall not do anything that contradicts to my vow of 1000 days of nofap…no pmo…Not taking risks on petty things. Not doing anything that deviate my path. No time to waste. I have already wasted many many years…alone…lethargic…lazy…isolation.brain fog…in dilemma…n doubts…in fears…Now no more! I have to make the remaining years the best years of my life. I have to heal cometely…not in parts…I’m a mentally strong man. I know this. I cannot take the chance of another relapse. I have to succeed anyhow…No ifs not buts…Only purpose only mission…I cannot wait to hold the beautiful life that is waiting for me!!

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I’m fighting the final war against pmo. Iam going to destroy my old self to build the new one. It is my final war. I will win…i have to win…

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Completed Day 12. Libido gone. Going through flatline. But i know , i will win this war. I will slay anything and anyone that stands between me and my goal…what to speak of this fucking pmo. But i get emotional outbursts thinking that i wasted 18 years of my prime time. But, now, i know with speed , accuracy and focus i can achieve anything. I will make this community proud. I will make myself proud. FREE AT LAST…FREE AT LAST…OHH GODD!! IAM FREE AT LAST FUCK PMO…FUCKK!!!

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I will take back and own things that were snatched from me…I will get back my health…happiness…handsomeness…focus…courage…devotion…deducation…social status…sociable nature…friends…relationships…economy…education…energy…career…goal…passion…i will get it…i will get everything that was given to me but i couldn’t realize…Now the beast in me has awoken…and he wants everything that was rightfully his. The beast now wants justice…for wasted years and time…now the beast is ready to work overtime…hardwork. through sincerity…and compensate the losses!! Oh my senses…i had given you 18 years to enjoy…but you couldn’t make me happy…now THE ME…THE IMMORTAL, SEXLESS ATMAN CLAIMS ITS REIGN…THE KING WANTS ITS RULE BACK…NOW DUTIFULLY OBEY ITS ORDER. YOU HAVE NO OPTION LEFT

Day 12 completed. But iam experiencing a lot of discomfort in body…i am feeling like i may have fever anytime…my body temperature is increasing since 4-5 days…my libido is gone…numbness in brain and fatigue is killing me…iam feeling unmotivated…depressed…frustrated…lonely though iam surrounded by my collegues :pensive:. ** BUT OH GOD I WILL NOT COLLAPSE! I will not relapse. I will not return to my previous lifestyle. Under any circumstances i will not fap again. If this fever kills me…let it kill me… if my feelings kill me …let it kill me. But i shall never fap again…if i have to die tomorrow also …i won’t fap again…i know very cleary that this fapping shit is soul killer. I will not kill my soul for short term pleasure**Iam a warrior and i will fight until and unless i win!

Hello my mind…I love you for being able to complete 13 days. Like this I want you to cooperate and follow my order and help me to achieve 1000 days clean streak. No edging…No peeking and no fanatsizing for minimum 1000 days…For me even Edging; Peeking and Fantasizing will be counted as relapse hereafter. I choose Death over Fap. This is my mentality now!! And I will come back here in RC only in May 14. If I come here before 14 May I will reset my counter to Zero. This is my second life and i don’t allow even a second to lose…To my friends here I want to say do not giveup…fight back…bounce back…never never never and never accept defeat and settle. You were born to win and you must win…fight back until and unless you win…love and peace See you on 14 th May 2021.

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I am sorry guys, as I had promised that i will be back only on or after 14 th May but I have to come to say something.

  1. One benefit from no fap iam experiencing is that my hairfall has significantly reduced.

  2. Iam going through the worst flatline…my sleep pattern has disturbed. I wake up anytime in night and start to cry…emotional outbursts…i have a lot of regrets for why I didn’t stop earlier?:sob::sob::sob:

  3. My will power has enhanced. Now I can think rationaly, logicaly…I find many times singing songs…And I have started to dance when Iam alone😎 My anger …irritation has reduced.

  4. My sleep duration has also reduced. Previously i used to sleep 8-10 hours and wake up lethargic but now i sleep for 6 hours and still feel fresh.

  5. Thankyou so much for your wonderful love …support and motivation guys…I love you!

On 14 May I will write more about nofap benefits experienced by me…and also confess How this PMO fucked me…till then keep me in your prayers…Iam fighting back like AN EMPEROR…NOTHING AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME FROM GETTING 1000 DAYS CLEAN STREAK…25 Days about to complete …Iam following NO EDGING…NO PEEKING AND NO FANTASY…!!

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I ALREADY KNOW WHAT GIVING UP FEELS LIKE, I WANT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS IF I DON’T.
Yes, I want to see what will happen if I do it consistently.

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GUYS I will login only on July 21, 2021 only. If I relapse (which I won’t) then I will let you guys know. I won’t be responding to any messages till then

Iam about to complete 30 days streak tomorrow morning
I feel iam in love with myself nowadays:sunglasses:

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Today I have completed 30 days of Nofap. I am feeling great.
Here are the changes I felt in these 30 days

1.Nightfall frequency decreased. I experienced 3 nightfalls during these 30 days. Previously, I used to have nightfall almost daily i.e. 25-26 times a month and sometimes even dayfall also. And that watery juice always oozing from my penis making my underwear always wet and smelly. I was partially dead and numb with no energy almost all the time.

  1. Energy level increased a bit. I see noticeable changes in my energy level. My energy and stamina have gone up…I feel less lazy when driving…My lower back used to hurt severely…now this has decreased.

  2. I have become more cool and calm. Perviously, I was always irritated…agitated…frustated and depressed.

  3. I am going through extreme flatline since 20 days and have not recovered yet.

  4. My sleep duration has decreased. I can now sleep for 5-6 hours and still wake up fresh.

  5. My senior collegues once said to me brother your skin is glowing while working at office late night. But, I Know that was due to light effects and not me glowing😁. (I have not told them anything abt my nofap journey)

  6. I have not observed any response from other women except one girl whom i had dumped some two years ago started to call me and msg me…and asked if we can patch up… I never loved her. But i had used her to do my homeworks…assignments…final year thesis and other academic works…as she was very talented. Now the same girl has been wanting to be with me . But, I said…i will not marry for 4-5 years and do not make any gf also till then…so its better we walk different path…She responded positively…If I had not been on nofap…i could have cheated her…So nofap has given me little self control also.

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Till I complete 1000 days streak I have no plan to be in relationship.