the most pleasurable thing to do is to touch Porn website link .
on the other hand the must painful is to touch strike resit button.
do you think it deserves ?!of course you don’t.
When i was 14 I was intelligent, hard worker and had a great social life ,I was the kid on my teachers eyes,to my classmates i was unbeatable !!.
I saw my frinds get addicted to the shit but i was kinda religious , and couldn’t understand why people get into this stupid sites.
Then i discovered the sexual desire (it is funny you can laugh ) , I did the same thing but without telling anyone of my classmates.
I wasn’t feeling sad or shame just pleasure without pain when , I was careless , what would happen when i got some pleasure for myselfe .
it started with YouTube videos then movies scenes. Then finally porn , it was kinda shit to see it at first time , they are the devils themselves but I’ve got used to .
After three years i joined the university , a good faculty when my friends got another lower grade university , i didn’t see the results of my bad habits yet (remember!! i was careless ).
Then I failed the first year !! Ok it wasn’t a clue i felt nothing , then i spent all the next year with this shit ,i could barely success .
The second year i had to choose my major,i couldn’t choose what i want but i felt nothing (careless).
I couldn’t focus or understand anything, actually i hate this major until the third year ,IDK what happened but suddenly i cared about my self !!! Bur after 6 years of PMO after losing my intelligence , my frinds after suffering from brain fog !!!
Do you imagine that ?! To wake finding that you are another person! ??
“That’s not the end you have to fight” i said
1st semester I failed in 2 subjects , 2nd semester started with the feeling of lost , but i succeeded allhamdullah because of covide 19 .
I had the power to start and i succeeded again with 110 s days strike -You can read my oldest message too-
until the girl i want get engaged , it was my childhood friend i relapsed…
“That’s not the end you have to fight” i said
It is the 4th year 1st semester.
I need to get a high grade because my dream is to be a teaching assistant
It was the 1st semester i failed in 2 subjects again but this time i am gonna fail the year, there is no( teaching assistant ).
One of my classmates who was addicted before became a teacher assistant .
Another person are marrying my dream girl after afew month .
My dreams disappeared , the girl the dream work and everything I’ve became a shity person.
In addition ,remember! I am studying a major that i hated,i can’t study for the 2nd semester and as i mentioned iam gonna fail.
But
“I have never lost because i have never run” armin arler said (anime character ).
I am not aloser right ?! Even everything has became meaningless!!,i am fighting, my life has been raining but i am fighting .
I see many people her are young (18 ,17) and some others newly addicted.
So as i said first do you think it deserves ??
