Do you think it deserves? To be like me?

the most pleasurable thing to do is to touch Porn website link .
on the other hand the must painful is to touch strike resit button.

do you think it deserves ?!of course you don’t.

When i was 14 I was intelligent, hard worker and had a great social life ,I was the kid on my teachers eyes,to my classmates i was unbeatable !!.

I saw my frinds get addicted to the shit but i was kinda religious , and couldn’t understand why people get into this stupid sites.

Then i discovered the sexual desire (it is funny you can laugh ) , I did the same thing but without telling anyone of my classmates.

I wasn’t feeling sad or shame just pleasure without pain when , I was careless , what would happen when i got some pleasure for myselfe .

it started with YouTube videos then movies scenes. Then finally porn , it was kinda shit to see it at first time , they are the devils themselves but I’ve got used to .

After three years i joined the university , a good faculty when my friends got another lower grade university , i didn’t see the results of my bad habits yet (remember!! i was careless ).

Then I failed the first year !! Ok it wasn’t a clue i felt nothing , then i spent all the next year with this shit ,i could barely success .

The second year i had to choose my major,i couldn’t choose what i want but i felt nothing (careless).

I couldn’t focus or understand anything, actually i hate this major until the third year ,IDK what happened but suddenly i cared about my self !!! Bur after 6 years of PMO after losing my intelligence , my frinds after suffering from brain fog !!!

Do you imagine that ?! To wake finding that you are another person! ??

“That’s not the end you have to fight” i said
1st semester I failed in 2 subjects , 2nd semester started with the feeling of lost , but i succeeded allhamdullah because of covide 19 .

I had the power to start and i succeeded again with 110 s days strike -You can read my oldest message too-
until the girl i want get engaged , it was my childhood friend i relapsed…

“That’s not the end you have to fight” i said
It is the 4th year 1st semester.

I need to get a high grade because my dream is to be a teaching assistant

It was the 1st semester i failed in 2 subjects again but this time i am gonna fail the year, there is no( teaching assistant ).

One of my classmates who was addicted before became a teacher assistant .
Another person are marrying my dream girl after afew month .

My dreams disappeared , the girl the dream work and everything I’ve became a shity person.

In addition ,remember! I am studying a major that i hated,i can’t study for the 2nd semester and as i mentioned iam gonna fail.

But
“I have never lost because i have never run” armin arler said (anime character ).

I am not aloser right ?! Even everything has became meaningless!!,i am fighting, my life has been raining but i am fighting .

I see many people her are young (18 ,17) and some others newly addicted.

So as i said first do you think it deserves ??

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Yes. You are right. It does not deserve. Let us get back to reality.

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I wish you the best guys… Leaving this forum permanently… Good luck on your journey

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Bro there are a lot of people like you. You have made 110 days streak once you have the tools go for it again, I am at 130 days but I have already retained the level of focus and energy I used to have before I got addicted. All these thoughts will also get purified as you proceed in this no fap journey.

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@randomguy25121980 @JonSnow001 @Samaranjay , thank you all for replying .

It seems that i can’t accept these fluctuations .
i believe that i have to let it go and it will take time but it still makes me sad.

I am trying now to put a plan to pass this year with less losses and satisfactory accomplishments i hope is wil success

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You can do it brother! I too have lost many opportunities due to my addiction, and also like you I struggle with putting pmo behind me once and for all. I know we can though.

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My story is also same, i use to think that porn was the best thing that ever occured to me but i late found out that not every pleasurable thing is best for me but also late i found that it was hard for me to let go of this habit. Porn and masturbation dimmed my thinking power i was just a sheep like other porn addicts and our sheperd was pornindustry its like living in matrix i got the choice to take the pill using nofap and i took it now my brain is recovering and now i can consciously choose who can be my sheperd or rather become sheperd myself.

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Everything that has happened in your life, has happened brother. That time is gone. You can’t bring the time which is already gone, neither me nor anyone. But we all have the present. You are definitely not a loser, but a warrior! And the only way to win is to fight!

We can change our life from this moment on, but it requires determination , direction and right mindset!

Yes, everytime I touched the reset button I felt the pain of defeat.
It does not deserve it.

Yeah ! Fight! :fire:

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@nofapstar123 @J0KER @Theronysis
I really appreciate your help ,thanks a lot

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How are you doing brother. Hope you are well.

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