I started to send a message to a person I’m following. He is a active user for years, but now he went to relapsing. I wanted to share my story to motivate him but i thought i should share it too all so everything who is in my state will also come to know.
“”“”""I was using this app last year. For first few days i did actively participate in challenges. Wrote posts. But after that I lost the motivation, and kept thinking it doesn’t make a big difference if we do it one time…then i thought i did it 3 days back…so i can do today…There…That was it…All over…I lost the interest in the app…I also had many other works coming so i had no time for this…but that shouldn’t be an excuse, right…anyway i uninstalled it so i get space for ■■■■ in my phone… Worst decision ever…I got addicted again. Everytime i was thinking bad stuff…I couldn’t remember anything. I got anger issues. For each little thing i get sudden rage of anger. After many months, when it came to a point where i did it daily, i took the leap. I took a decision. I installed this app again. Its my day 3 now.
On a side note, It’s not like i changed drastically. I am taking a peak at ■■■■ which I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO DO. THAT IS WRONG. Im trying to control moring urges. Im doing yoga in morning, excercise in evening. Studies also i going by. After all this im thinking about that sometimes. I think the key is to keep ourselves busy most of the time…Do something…And mostly not in phone "“”“”"
This was the msg i wanted to say to him. I Will update my diary daily. People who feel happy after reading my daily post, please give a like, so i will get motivated little
Day 4
I did my yoga in the morning. Studied for some time but not to expected level for daily count. Slept after lunch. I couldn’t excercise today. I didn’t take a peak at ■■■■ today but I’m imagining that things. I should learn to control my mind. Didn’t user phone that much. Overall i would say good day.
I’m at day 10 now. I’m slowly going into wrong path and i can see it. I’m taking peaks with confidence that i won’t relapse. And it’s getting more and more each day. At day 7, i took peak one time. Next day 2,3 times and so on. I’m thinking like if i don’t lie in bed i won’t relapse…
OMG…This is my longest streak so far !!! I’m not thinking about masturbation. Although i can’t control edging. Im taking peak in small small ways that give pleasure, like insta photos, webseries…but not actual ■■■■. Ill try to stop it. But so far so good.
I relapsed at 21 days last time, now at 8 again. You need to stop peeking and edging. It will lead to a relapse, and it will corrupt your mind. I was at 195 days and I decided to peek. You know what happened next. You must always be vigilant, no matter how long your streak. You are repeating old patterns, while you’re trying to break them. You become good at what you practice, so practice what you want to become good at. Is that looking at pictures of insta models? Is that edging for the rest of your life, and falling back into porn addiction? You decide.
Thanks man…i didnt think it was that serious. I’ll work on it from now on. Thanks for your support. It means a lot to me. I’ll start to reduce my net usage, and ultimately reduce phone usage and start working on positive goals.
Congrats @NewOne for reaching this far man. Don’t peek. It’s almost like edging. Its dangerous. I suggest you delete your insta account bro. Social medias are not good when you are on nofap.
Keep doing the good work bro. This is the only live we’ve got. We are much greater than porn and masturbation.