Diary of Adidas 🎭

ADIDAS [28M]

Sharing code: gr605r

About to reach day 2nd in few hours.

Feeling: Very Happy, Shocked(can’t believe I just passed one day without fapping)

Reason for doing this Nofap:-

  • physical and mentally getting weaker day by day.
  • not spiritually active.
  • not having emotions(good)
  • spreading -ve vibes. Need to change whole mindset.
  • undisciplined, lack of Self-esteem(belief system Curroupted)

Objective: overcome at least 3days.

Personal Confession: I always fap to escape from the feeling of anxiety, stress and get some sleep early.
And I was the regular fapper guy. Hopefully now I am not that guy.

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Congratulations for the initiative. I’m rooting for you.:grinning::handshake:

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I don’t know who wrote these lines but whoever wrote this grabs my whole attention. :heart_eyes:

"Watching porn is a crime."

This gives me a boost to not watch that filthy videos.

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Good bro, affirm this into your subconscious as much as possible. Make significant changes to your lifestyle to mirror this new different identity you have chosen for yourself and work like you mean like it. You will be awesome in no time.

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Second day thirteen hours gone

Since then

Feeling:
numb(most of the time), small amount of happiness, balls getting heavy, curious (to know what’s going to happen next) little excitement.

Reason for doing this Nofap:-

  • Anxiety and stress can’t let me sleep at night.
  • gets aggressive very early or sometimes without any issue. (Needs to work on it)
  • undisciplined and careless(in personal habits) outside I am very much disciplined and careful. Self-care is needed to improve my self-esteem(belief system)

Objective: overcome at least 3days.
(after completing 3days I will write next goal)

Personal Confession:
I have developed the habit(by bad habit) of objectifying the body. Today I tried to ignore as much as I can.
And I will not run from anxiety and stress I have, now I will face that feeling which led me to do fap.

Thanks to @EduardoIsraeli for blockerx app. It helps me a lot.
@Marcio you’re very kind. May God bless you with lots of happiness in your life.

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@Adidas2201 Congratulations dear for fighting for yourself and against yourself. Heroes are not those who win the world, but those who strive to win the struggles within themselves. Congratulations on your second day, I’m looking forward to seeing you win.

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second day nineteen hours gone

Personal Confession:-
We all do some mistakes which we know that leads to difficult road. why don’t we analyse it before it will do something wrong with us?

Even I did that same kind of mistake today.
Objectifying which is very wrong :x: thing…one’s mind craves for.
But by asking the right question(on right time) gives opportunity to come back to reality again (otherwise I would’ve floating on the imaginary place where everything is possible)
because of this one mistake I did another mistake.
i.e, sleeping in the afternoon (when I have no work) & especially sleeping :sleeping_bed: (on chest side) which again arouse my feelings and that led me to bad dream :sleeping::thought_balloon:
where imaginary person calling me to do sinful act.
But I understood the mind is playing trick to trap me so that I will repeat PMO habit(same mistake again).
But I didn’t give a shit to it.
As soon as I wake up I just go out for a walk.
:man_facepalming:Again this mind is hungry for dopamine but I keep my head down and just take a round and didn’t noticed any person whoever comes and goes…
and came back to home with no cravings.

Thank God :pray: today everything went well as I expected(at the end) .

I wrote this because this is usual mistake we all do which leads to relapse.

1 Like

Small Victory: third day completed
Moving to :arrow_right: Next Goal i.e, Seven days

Feeling: Happy but more scared(of relapsing)

Reason for doing this Nofap:-

  • Anxiety and stress can’t let me sleep at night.
  • Never been in relationship(scared/fear of rejection)
  • Anger and mood swings(Need to control)
  • undisciplined and careless(in personal habits), I’ll start doing new habits once I reach next goal.
  • need to overcome my fears.

Objective: overcome at least 7days.

Personal Confession:
last day I had lot craving(to fap) situations but till now I survived. Hope for the best.
I did one mistake(i.e, touched my d) which I know it’s small victory of my brain over me.
In which brain tries to play tricks to release dopamine :syringe: chemical inside.
But overall I had 3days victory over PMO. :trophy:

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I’m very happy for you. And I have no doubt that you will achieve your goal.

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Well done man !!! Waohhhh!! Good luck and stay strong and awesome :tada::tada::tada:

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Relapsed; starting again

Feeling: sleepy, low on energy, sad.

Objective: overcome at least next 7days.

Personal Confession:
Again that anxiety and stress don’t lemme sleep. and when I was awake till morning but to sleep I just watched PMO and went to deep sleep.
I accept my mistake that watching Porn is an evil act.

In this relapse, I actually know what was my mistake and now I will take care of it.

It’s all started by objectifying–> sleeping in afternoon in wrong position–> didn’t sleep at night :x::sleeping::zzz:–> watching some Netflix movie–> urge starts–> searching something on google everything is blocked–> Uninstalled blocker–> PMO and relapsed.

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@Marcio yeah, sooner or later surely I will.
Thanq for your support.

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I do not give up on you ADIDAS, I really want to see your victory. Your relapses do not diminish my admiration for you. My heart is saddened to imagine you sad. But I’m sure you will find the strength to overcome the nights spent awake. Son in this war is not won without consequences. Withstand some sleepless nights, after enduring everything will return to normal and your sleep will be sweet as a child. I love you and I don’t give up imagining your smile after overcoming this evil called PMO.

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I am not in state to reply something positive. @Marcio
But I don’t have words for you how much supportive trustworthy and caring you’re.
It’s like I found my brother which is lost in my childhood.
Lots of Love to you brother :heart_eyes:
By reading your comment it gives me small hope that someone is there who is counting on me.
I feel like I should show him how much I can do.

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Hey man,

Sorry for the relapse, don’t stress about it too much. You learnt a valuable lesson. Yes, cut out porn out of your life you don’t need it. I too ain’t mad, I know it is a hard journey. To let porn go isn’t easy especially at the start. I have been there too.

I had thoughts like “once a week is fine”.
Or me being totally naïve and stupidly cocky about it. "I am watching porn, but it doesn’t bother me, I am not horney watching it. "

Lot of dumb mistakes on my part like:" okay let me just watch hentai it ain’t that bad right? "
Or masterbate with a guy doing it on a porn site ain’t porn right? ( Yeah, kinda gay too), but I didn’t care it was a things I convinced myself just for the pleasure of it and not feeling as guilty to watch it and also thought it would be like cigreattes leave it bit by bit till you only nibb th thing and then get off it.

The best thing I did was to say at a point enough is enough and I am still in this way of thinking. I couldn’t believe how my life changed. I was kinda tired of my phone, but it was still a thing I used daily for jobs or for leisure(social media). I wasn’t bothered on having all of them(social media) feel still satisfied with only wa and YouTube.

It is more than enough for me. I didn’t want instagram, but I have it as I fell for a girl on another app when I struggled a bit with being sad and couldn’t talk to anyone.

She left and saud she is on instagram. Sounds bad maybe her in a bikini or getting nudes via dm. But to my surprise Instagram was an good investment as I learn german( as the girl is german) also for sports I expanded myself.

Yes, there was a lot of close calls and I had an terrible dm experience, but I just said enough and had deleted the conversation and blocked the person who sent the dm.

To take it serious and commit to staying away is super hard. For me I found it effective going without porn blockers( thanks to what you’ve mentioned, because that was the exact same thing I would have done). I just find porn blockers as a temptation and not a real help. It is a help to help you to break the cycle, but in the end just getting frustrated by not doing much or just really wanna watch porn man only one thing stops you and you can delete it just as easy.

Well, I know going in solo also a risk one word is all it needs, but you have to change your thoughts actively against it and commit on staying away. Not to think of it and at first changing the way you use your devices and how long you use it and where is also keys building up to break up this cycle.

With masterbation it’s the same. Focus on where and when. If you are at that time and in that room to know you might fap. Just don’t entertain the thoughts to masterbate then. Just actively keep yourself busy with something you commit in focus 100% and you find fun to do!

Hope this helps and I wish you good luck on your next journey! Should it help I also have a porn block challenge. It is kinda quite there now, but I will chat more there too. Maybs get a challenger there to be healthy competition so you can break porns hold on you!

Good luck and stay strong and awesome!!

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Why do you think not having emotions is good? If you don’t feel sadness,angry,love,hatred. What do you think you’d feel? Anxiety obvious, that anxiety is suppress emotions who wants release.

Personal Confession:
I know it’s kind of late response but yeah I had relapses thrice in a day(total relapses today).
1st relapse is because of craving pressure(to fap).
2nd was chaser effect there was a link :link:(between 1st and 2nd)
3rd was my egoistic behavior. Where I thought "I am watching porn, but it doesn’t bother me, I am not horny let’s watching it. " Same as @Cubenix said.

Feeling: embarrassed, sad, crying inside, scared(how I will answer one who trust me?), stopped feeling hungry, getting angry(not that much as I don’t have energy inside me) lack of energy, feels isolated, irritated.

Situation:-
Currently feeling irritated or sometimes I feel sad…crying inside & thinking that why I wasted my progress I made so far?

Objective:
Overcome atleast 3days(this time I will go very slowly)

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You’re right, In past days, I was thinking about that blocker. Is it really helping me or should I uninstall it.?
I read most of the posts they mentioned different different blockers…which helps keyword gets blocked when we enter in any browser. (Blockers helps me in night because I have little time and few options-- either sleep or google these keywords…when I do. . it automatically blocks the keyword & then I go to :sleeping:sleep) :smile:
But as we(human) are only creator of this kind of application which means we may find the solution to get through it at the the time of intense urge (cravings to fap).

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Well, buddy I ain’t a expert when it comes to these apps. I kinda went in and well just “winged” it on my own terms.

I became my own porn blocker. Yes it’s risky as hell, but like I mentioned before for each app I assigned a spesific task away from any arousing material and mostly my stuff is male oriented videos of exercise tutorials.

The thing is I control myself too. If I feel horney I am rarely on my phone or if I am on my phone keep it brief and stay away from google or social media. Mainly only on the forum or Youtube watching stuff that pulls all my attention like how stuff is build or how things work. Eventhough I am comfortable doesn’t mean I don’t have to be careful!

I am also calm and comfortable with what every I do on any of my devices. I think what also helped was when I was horney I wasn’t on any device at the start. I had a rule against it a goal to work for more actuallly. Should I be in this type of situation all where I was allowed on my phone was on the forum and to play Sudoku and that was all. Later maybe two weeks of being strict on it the urge was less to be on or even to think of porn then.

Especially no phone in bed was a must so 10 O’clockish I switch off my devices. I usaully also have a book or two so I’d read. Or should I feel horney as fudge and seriously feel I can’t hold on. Well 10 push-ups or sit-ups was the way to go. Even sometimes going to the bathroom helped even if I don’t have to go. Just a change in scene quickly takes your mind off it. As long as you don’t give any of the thoughts a space to grow!

Hope it helps maybe you could consider a path without a porn blocker. Just a fair thought and give yourself strict rules to follow for a week or so like mentioned. You might benefit more of it in the end. Less time on the device more time for exercising or hobbies or task or family or friends.

Good luck and stay strong and awesome!

Congratulations on reaching 10 o’clock. I really, really want you to win. Adidas don’t give up bro. :heart:

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