I’m sorry to hear you relapsed bro, but don’t get down on yourself. I have had plenty of times like those, where my thoughts were all over the place. Those are huge relapse moments for me.
I know I emphasize this a lot, but truly, when you find yourself in those situations, come onto this app and just start writing. Don’t worry about how it sounds, spelling, or anything. Just write what’s in your head. Clear it all out. What’s bothering you? Put it all down on this thread. Write until it all makes sense, write even when it sounds stupid, write even if you don’t think it’ll help. I swear when you get done, you will have cleared your head and you will understand what is bothering you. And in turn, your urges will disappear. Because your urges feed on that confusion and unresolved issues.
I would even suggest to do that now, even after you relapsed. Get inside your head and prevent any binges.
Don’t worry about what others will say, we are all here for the same reasons, and we have all been there. We might even be able to notice something that you didn’t.
Stay strong brother, get back up. This is just a step in your learning.