Dealing with my weakness.. please help

So I have been trying nofap ever since started masturbating 7 months ago…
The first time I faped I was 19 and a half years old and since then I wanted to stop but the longest I could was my current 17 Days nofap

I am able to notice my patterns and it was mainly that I fap under the shower… the thing is, I was avoiding showering for the last week, but eventually I need to shower…
Today I almost relapsed as I was showering but I swore that I wouldn’t touch myself… I even tried to ejaculate just by the power of mind… After a while I failed and escaped the shower. I was happy because I kept my streak but also scared about the next shower…

The only thing that stopped me this time is that I swore to God (with everything I hold dear) that I wouldn’t touch my self until Wednesday… but next time nothing would stop me

When the water is flowing and the soup is making everything soft and I look down there I can only think about the dopamine rushing through my vains (since I am relatively new… only 7 months and at tops 4 times a week I still can experience some pleasure while masturbating)

I just feel like I stopped masturbating too early and am missing out on some free pleasure

I tried cold showers but I get sick from them and would also like to enjoy a hot shower every once in a while

please help me I don’t want to loose my 17 Days streak

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Why exactly did you stop masturbating then if it’ll only benefit you by giving you free pleasure? Sounds to me like your body is trying to trick you by making you believe that. You stopped for a reason because it wasn’t only giving you pleasure. Maybe you get shame out of it? Maybe it makes you feel drained of energy? Whatever it is you need to focus on that instead.

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Don’t be so hard on yourself.
It is natural urge it is not your enemy.
Read the book why you should not masturbate…You may get some idea.
Take all that is positive from that book and you will feel happy.
Now don’t make it a great point here that I want to stop and all…Just stop and don’t force yourself learn the science behind it and bring necessary changes to your routine.
Bath regularly a quick bath not more than 4 to 5 min would do but be fast rest change as per you feel.
All the best and read that book.

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You are right, there are many reasons… but when the urge is here you just don’t think about it…

I am really proud of my choice to stop fapping but there is a part in me that says “if only you fapped one more time or just a couple”
will this ever stop?

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Thanks for the tips.
To me my urge is the enemy, it makes me blind and stupid… and I hardly can control it

It gets easier to say no as time passes. You just need to focus on why you stopped in the first place. You’ve got this!