I am now on my longest streak (day46). Kind of new territory for me here. Would be glad for some insights from people who have been here or are currently here. What have you learned. Where lies danger? What to expect from the next 45 days etc.
Had a short flatline after day 20 to 24. Had benefits, some easy days but still have days were I struggle hard like week one. How do I ensure I am procressing the best way?
Thanks in advance
congratulations on your streak! Had to be difficult to get there, so props!
I’ve been twice beyond 45 days. The danger I see lies mostly in the distance you build between how you once felt and how you are feeling now. Which is a good thing in general, but it bears the danger of not taking an urge or trigger seriously. In my case I came across some difficulties in my life, thought of porn as the solution and then was able to convince myself that it would not have that big of an impact after all, I mean, come on, I made it here, so I can easily get up after relapsing once.
It is not.
It might be after the first time, but it makes a second time that much more probable, and soon you find yourself in the same old spiral.
Thus my advice is simple: go on like you did before. Don’t think anything changed (in this prospect at least )
Thanks man. Yeah i think pride is a problem to be reckoned with. Because it gets easier it is also easier to fhink you can do certain things that you shouldnt. Day zero still is only one Slip up away. Do you remember why you relapsed after 45days? The last couple of days has been harder than usuall and I learned to spot the signs for a relapse. Afraid I will screw up. Even if I only think short of something arousin I find precum in my pants. Very sensible these days. Need my focus back so there is just one way. To go on and spent the maximum time possible in public places
Stay strong man!
Well, I remember what would have prevented me from relapsing, and that is to concentrate on other things and don’t give it so much space in my thoughts.
And I also remember what made me relapse: being bored and confronted with negative emotions in the worst possible time (although I can’t just blame the wrong moment for it, I was the one who cornered himself in that very moment).
First time was three years ago, I was clean for almost half a year, but then felt lonely and lost after moving to a bigger city and having some problems with my girlfriend who was the only person I really knew there, which made me turn to PMO again gradually. I didn’t even really noticed back then.
The second time was similar, was clean for two months (funny enough, this time problems with my girlfriend were the reason for staying clean), but relapsed because I was bored, sitting alone in my apartment, didn’t feel the motivation to do anything and felt the need for company and approval, so here we are again.
In the end, my underlying problem of not being able to deal with emotions I numbed through PMO are the real thing to tackle, but everytime I am clean long enough to actually start to feel those feelings again, I get afraid because I am not used to them and hence don’t know how to classify them. Sometimes I even relapse because I feel good, or excited, and my brain instantly categorizes it as a “bad” feeling that makes me uneasy.
That’s just my situation, but if you can see yourself in some parts, just know when the time comes that just because things start to get different, it doesn’t mean they get worse, the opposite: at this point in our lives, change is vital, change is necessary, even if we are afraid.
Plz,If you have some time, answer my questions, it would help me in my journey. How old are you?
Whats your longest streak ?
Did you did it on hard mode ?
What about wet dreams( if any ) ?
How no pmo makes a impact in your life ?
How to sleep when urges are at their height ?
Do you know about kareeza? Is it good or bad ?
Well, I do. If @return2reality doesn’t want his thread spamed, just tell me and I will delete this response and move it to another thread.
I’m 23 years old. My longest streak was about half a year, but I can’t tell for sure. That streak happened about 5 years ago, and it did by accident. I didn’t address my addiction as such back then, I just realized I watched porn because I was lonely. Other changes in my life at the time (like end of high-school) made me believe it was time for a change. But I never decided to quit PMO. I just decided I wanted to start doing other things instead.
So over the course of 3 or 4 months, I watched less and less porn and slowly engaged in other activities. And after some time, I didn’t even think about porn anymore. It was just not a part of my life anymore, other things were instead. I started doing sports. I met friends more often. Took daily walks. Learned new languages. Played the piano more seriously.
Of course wet dreams occured, but those are just natural, as well as fantasizing. Sex or any sexual act is not a bad thing per se, it’s a vital part of our lives. I even masturbated occasionally during that time, but not to porn, nor to the thought of porn. Enjoying yourself once in a while is not unhealthy. We just don’t know how to do that anymore, because most of us were taught by porn how to masturbate, what to do, what to think etc.
To not watch porn and masturbate to it made a great impact, as I said, but not that alone. It was a series of events and things that made me feel better, and no PMO was one part of it. It made change possible.
What changed can be summarized as: things started to have value.
Humans strive towards happiness. It’s natural. I found that happiness only in a porn-induced orgasm, and so that was the only thing of value to me. Everything I did was somehow connected to getting that. Even on a subconcious level. If I talked to a woman, I was somehow only thinking about fucking her (subconciously!) and so everything I said to her was influenced by this thought. Either I would try to make a good impression on her, or I would be ashamed of the thought and not be able to talk at all.
After no PMO, my concentration startet to get better, because I could give value to other things and concentrate on them, because they meant something to me. Walking through a forest. Talking to friends. Watching a simple movie without action. Listening to classical music (damn, the way I listen to music when clean changes drastically). Reading.
PMO also influenced my motivational behaviour - I was fixed on getting instant satisfaction, so with less PMO came the willpower and motivation to chase some goals over a longer period of time, or do something that takes time and won’t show you results the same moment. That helped me a lot with my piano practice where you have to do scales for hours for example. Or writing short stories, where it sometimes takes hours just to get the draft done, where you stare at a blank wall for hours until you get that one thing right which makes you start to write.
You could say I was able to find joy in other things again.
I learned how to be happy.
I can’t give you any advice on sleep though. As a kid, I had a lot of problems with sleeping well, so the only thing that worked for me was getting through it. I learned to endure until it got better, or until the things that kept me from sleeping got better. Maybe ask some other members on here.
What I did was listen to audiobooks. It makes you feel like someone is there, you have to focus, and sometimes it just makes you sleepy.
I read about kareeza on your other post a while ago. Same as sex, I don’t think it is a bad thing per se. It may have a bad influence if you only do kareeza and nothing else, since you just feel frustrated over time (and if you have problems with PMO and discipline in general, it might be counterproductive because it makes a relapse more probable). In the end though it is all about making love to your partner, and if you do that by kareeza or “ordinary” sex is up to you and you only.
Hope I could help you with that. Sorry to anyone else for the long answer. OP, tell me to remove it if you want to have it removed!
Thanks for the input. Often times i am not really horny just bored or i dont want to deal with something so i look for an escape. Than after feeling the beast just a little the urges get strong and usually last until the day is over. I then just escape my urges by another escape for examable netflix even if i have stuff to do. Still working on my willpower there. To the questions: i am 24 longest streak is today 48 days. If you mean hardmode by having no sex no porn and no orgasm yes. But to be honest i used to make my p hard alot in the beginning to check if it would still work. I know what a weak excuse but the brain of an addict rationalizes different. I always stoped myself which was always harder than just simply not to start. Which is why I didn’t restart the timer even is this was edging or masturbation. First week always is the hardest so to have more than7 days on.my counter helped me alot not to relapse. I had sex dreams but without orgasms/ejaculations which made it harder the next morning not to fap but I made me feel good because I knew it was part of recovery. Benefits on my journey are not all just from nofap as in started to meditate cold shower and exercise daily aswell. But with those I dont get sick, my muscles regenerate faster, emotions got so much clearer. I feel more myself and human instead of being numb and just acting happy. I confronted some hidden stuff and found acceptance in myself. I had some easy days where I didn’t even thought about pmo. I know that after a hard day the next can be easy if you dont give up. General I am less tired and enjoy everything more. When I have urges in the night I pray. Sleep with pants and have my hands over the sheet. They will pass if you let them. Also I knew I was only 20-30mins away from making it through another 8 hours possibly a day. Don’t get wasted to much or often as your willpower decreases.
To come to an end. Kareeza means orgasms without ejaculation if I got that right. Brother sorry to tell you that. Stay away from that. I used train my pc muscle for that aswell but its basically edging even if you not touching. You wont get far if you practise this. Urges will become stronger and you aren’t getting rid of anything. My suggestion first to do a successful reboot and than if you get in relationship with somebody to explore that. If you are in one I cant help. If not focus on abstaining first.
No need to.delete anything here. Open for questions
Finaly i can go to sleep after reading all that. Hahahaha
Hey guyz can anyone explain me what is flatline
I have no experience of flatline personaly.
I have watched some youtube videos about it. They say," it a state of healing where benefits go away. The thing is temporary and go away with time. At the other end you become a better version of yourself after that."
As @anon66785751 said. Normally, you experience some improvement in the first days, weeks or even months. You usually feel better in some way, may it be that your ability to concentrate gets better, you can sleep better or any of the things that come with a rehabilitation process.
At some point though those improvements will stop, or won’t get any better, sometimes you even feel worse again. That’s the flatline. It is important that you still go on through this time and know that it doesn’t mean that your progress is gone to waste. It means you are still going.
Much like the calm after a storm.
In my experience a flatline usually beginns with that your dick inst sensible at all. You lack hornyness and think therefore you are lacking drive and purpose. So you feel bad. One option is to go through that phase and find purpuse in other things, the other option is that you go back to pmo. You shouldn’t but your brain tries to trick you in giving it dopamin to feel better