I am introvert at birth but since I joined nofap I became a little bit extrovert. Before, I always stay at my room watching movies, musics and even fapping for almost 5x in a week. Now, I don’t want to stay alone in my room anymore. I want to meet and talk to new people. I’m far away from my home and friends cause I’m working here in a busy city. I can only socialize with my two coworkers. I am 26 years old… single and I am so sad and depressed right now. I don’t even have female friends anymore. I courted two girls who flirted with me for the past two months but I fucked it up when I followed what I read from the pick up artists’ advice on how to dominate girls. Now, they don’t want me and I am so lonely cause I can’t see and talk to them.
I understand and feel the pain. Life is funny coz we don’t get what we want or run after. Once we are clear in our heads and stop chasing things , life will give those same things to us which we earlier yearned for. So just stay positive. Focus on your work and don’t go out of the way to impress a girl. Am sure your honesty will pay.
@MSD_27 hits the nail on the head: it’s an irony of life.
I feel you @ghostreaperx on the introvert behaviour too - I was BAD. Wouldn’t leave my room to eat if i knew people were in the kitchen and i would have to say “hi.”
And 5× a week is not bad at all bro. 5x a day is where many of us had fallen to.
Work on you: build the habits everyone talks about. Reading, exercise, meditation, journaling, etc.
Everyone talks about them for a reason!
About being social…start small. I used to go out to unfamiliar places to practice small talk with strangers. That way, if I fucked up, no one knew me and I’d never go back haha. That never happened though.
It was this big deal only in my mind.
Now, I’m still an introvert but socializing is easy. Because, I put in many REPS. I’m still putting them in. I’m going out tonight by myself just to get out my comfort zone.
Put in those reps. Eventually you won’t have a choice but to make gains.
Man. I would say that nihilism takes you nowhere. It’s like “Keep screwing up man and see what happens”. It’s a bad solution. You see… There are ways out and you can get it, but what can help you at the beginning is being humble. I was quite like you and also I did that mistake. Maybe try telling them the truth. Not just for feeling sorry for yourself, but to tell them that you made a mistake and you were really dumb for acting like such an idiot, but you already understand it was a silly move and maybe you can try to fix the trust. If she will be using you since then - move on. You know you’re valuable somehow. My little advice: Don’t try to get into relationship if you’re not having friends! First of all… Think of your development and improve yourself. If you’re not interesting and you just exist then you could fix this one thing - getting hobby, exploring the city, finding your vision, reading, going on local events, etc (or maybe start fixing relations with those girls). Write down what you can do and what needs to be repaired. Write down what makes you feel sad and try to understand why it’s happening and how can you work on it. Stay strong bro . I was there. You can do it. “12 rules for life” also helped me. Maybe you would like to check it out . Peace
Feel free to message me anytime if you want to talk. We’re all here for you
Update guys: Sorry for the late reply cause the app’s notifications doesn’t pop up and I only saw your reply through Gmail. Even though your reply is 8 days ago, again I’m so sorry I am so bad at this.
I have apologized to the girl through chat but I didn’t tell her about the pick-up artist’s thingy. I think she already forgiven me cause when i saw her in person she smiles at me. For the past two months, she keeps on flirting and hitting on me. At first, I thought she was playing so I didn’t take it seriously. I think she likes me and I would’ve stand a chance if I courted her. But I don’t have the courage cause I am an introvert and shy person while she is an extrovert and sociable. We are at the same age but I look younger than her cause I have a baby face. On the other hand, this other girl that flirted with me before but has a boyfriend. I didn’t apologize to her but I changed my attitude. I always keep smiling and helping at her chores. She even said to me that I’m so nice. Normally I shave my mustache but now that I don’t shave because I want to look older. She distanced herself away from me and I think she was afraid of my looks cause she seems nervous everytime I come to her. She is eight years younger than me btw and she prefers my baby face. IMO, fapping makes my face looked younger but now that I’m in my nofap journey my face started to have wrinkles and my voice started to sounds deep and weird.