Yesterday i tried no youtube or anime
And my god
My head was about to burst
I pushed myself hard till 1pm
But then it became unbearable
But still a good start
Lets go ahead …
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I again tried on entertainment
And i had headache and heaviness again
And i lost
This happened two days before
Yesterday and i today i gave up completely…
But from tom ill again try no entertainment
Though i failed twice but i succeed till half of the day
So time to make it full day
Thats all
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Last few months
I have been consuming negative content on social media
First i thought yes this is informative
But then i saw myself watching more of those negative contents and used to feel furious after watching that content
Now when i sit and think
I realise that humanity has mastered the art to manipulate others through their content
For example one particular content by two individuals both opposing each other
So when i watch one’s content i feel he or she is right and the same happens regarding another video
So at last i decided that most of these people are just trying to milk money from u by manipulating the facts and i got caught in that flow of negative energy
I dont know who said it
But this is true
when something is free, u r the product
Which is true in case of social media and 18 + content 
Super normal stimuli ( high level dopamine addiction) Weakens the connection with the loved ones
This i took lightly previously
But now i have been going through this
I feel youtube more entertaining and enjoying than speaking or texting with my gf
I find myself and my family members hooked to phone everytime when we are eating or even just sitting with each other
My gf is in fights with me for not having time to call even once a day and its justified because the call is the only thing that keeps us connected
So yes i finally agree that the technology is one of the main things that causes issues in a relation
When it is in the hands of some 1 like me who gets addicted so easily
I dont need any sympathy or kind words like its fine u can get over with it
This very talk makes me feel raged idk why
Just wanted to share so texting here
Currently on a day 2 streak
No urges at all
My straks are usualy anywhere between 1 day to 4 days
Not at all focused on counting streaks
…
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Whenever i try or plan to block the phone
Anxiety kicks in and this anxiety is mot something small
This is the worst anxiety
It feels like ill be missing out on something
I feel i need it for studies etc
But at the end i end up using phone for non profuctive purpose
So the thought banning the dopamine to brain makes me freak out
Which now does make sense that cutting it out is necessary
But this feels damn difficult because i start having headache
And heaviness
But i need to bear this for sometime
Because this addiction i have developed over a period of 3 years and everyday
The next mistake
Expecting instant results
I knew this is wrong but somewhere behind the mind i was expecting early returns
Be it health
Or getting back to discipline
Or studies
It will take time
But a failure of a day is too depressing
My thinking must be changed
Next thing is rather than having large and currently unachievable targets
I need to set small targets and try to achieve them as fast i can …
I know all of these things
But while implementation i mess up and fail and back to level zero…
Smallest of the targets
- Exercise from 30 day fitness challenge
- Meditate 5 mins
- Dont delete digital detox app
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Ikik i make tasks but then dont check in everyday
Because i m not able to achieve them so i frel guilty
I have run away from this many times
And thats what made me more weak…
I just wanna become better
And ill keep trying
Just one thing dont sympathize with me
Or tell like give ur best u can do it
None of this actually works for me idk why
Internally its only me who can motivate myself
The external source of motivation no more works for me
Even when i dont fap for any number of days
Its never because of any motivation or streak
I just dont wanna do it
Being told by peoe itsk u can do better next time makes me more anxious or raged
Because i know this time could have been much much more better
Im not angry on the person tells this
Im angry on myself seeing my efforts
But i m helpless
Because if or people’s dopamine is 150 (normal dopamine being 100) then im somewhere at 300+
The reason for this being mastrubation 6 to 7 times perday
Wherein after 2 times i dont even feel anything
Just for that dopamine hit i have to keep doing it
Sometimes even 10 + times
Nothing to be praised about
And before any one asks how come im doing it so many times
I just dont wanna speak ( sorry for being rude )
It makes me guilty
Along with these many times
6 to 8 hours + a day of youtube, anime or gaming where in previously it used to be 12 + hours
Again if u think where i used to get so many hours
I got it because mastru*** didnt take much time
So i have been doing everything in this excess
Plus not studying for a long time (less than 20%efforts)
Plus lack of exercise
And not having friends to speak to
Pretending infront of gf that im okay
Because we rarely meet and even if we do its for an hour or 2 max
Plus i have gotten good at pretending
And having toxicity at home and always feeding on negativity
Feeling less of a man and increased addiction to po*n and indulging in gross fantasies
So due to this my release of dopamine is too high
So it feels almost impossible to quit and atthe same time moderation doesnt work
All of the exams i have been passing from last 3 years is only practical subjects
Because i am good at it and the subjects i fail is theory because i didnt study at all
With these many times of mastrubation a day (10 +)
Everyday basis
It feels impossible to leave this
Finally after a struggle of 2 + years i was able to quit one of the addiction games but it wasnt quit
I just substituted it with other
And now finding difficult to quit the other
Other thing is i dont find anything fun in life anymore
When i exercise for mlre than 10 ro 15 mins
I think im wasting time so i need to study but when i should have been studying i waste time and then regret and more anxiety more guilt and then beat the meat 
I think of substituting the current activities with something fun offline
But everything i wanna do is some hkw connected to phone
Like i was continue practicing guitar
The questions is mind be like - u are wasting time
And then again if i start using this practice - ill start thinking i can use it in moderation
But i end up wasting again😅
Change your phone launcher
Hide high dopamine apps
Use phone locks to abstain from phone for a time
For anxiety it s gonna kick you can’t do anything except being patient at certain times
Being this much high dopaminergic is sick, lower you masturbation frequency, if you want do it without ■■■■ but not with this.
Failing is not a bad thing unless you learnt from the previous thing
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It’s just overthinking you are using your working memory so much that it’s creating anxiety in your mind to stop yourself from overthinking. Instead being present and doing small small things are very important
We can just give you advices it’s on you to decide your fate
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I fucking damn know everything but end up falling to it everytime
Time and time im trying to reduce
And reduced series, movies and gaming
Infact i can go on without these
Anime, manga and youtube and pmo is difficult
And even reading books make me me escape from reality (novel)
Ik u may be thinking people tend to books to overcome addiction but yeah this is how it is with me
I don’t know others but as time flies i learnt and building myself up complaining with not help you
If you are having problem with YouTube starting watching longer videos in full screen.
If games are making you problematic download some games which are offline and less appealing
If you are feeling to masturbate then masturbate at most the previous quota
Complaining every damn problems will always lead you to vain
And the reason it becomes more difficult is because every one at home is a phone addict
Like most of the day phome in hand
Few are on calls for 5 to 6 hrs a day (negative talks ) other than doomscrolling or whatsapp status
Others like me and my siblings hooked to phone whilw eating or any work
Luckily i dont have insta but that is compensated through youtube😅 so mo changes
Yes i agree with everything u said
Im not complaining as such
I just wanted to tell it out so just said it
And yes regarding minimalistic thing
I used it previously
But since i was expecting instant results i gave up on it
Will try to keep it now onwards irrespective of brain tells me
Thank you for the suggestion
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What u suggested can be done
But the thing is i dont enjoy any of these things
Its just mindlessly doing it …
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Almost everyone are hooked to phones you can’t just excuse for that
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Yes agreed with what u tel and not considering it as an excuse at all
And im trying to get out of this thats all
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When replacing with good hobies
Anything that i think i can do is associated with youtube or something else
Like guitar free videos
Language learning mobile app
Painting or drawing i completely forgot about them plus i never learnt anything basics of face drawing or any painting
So i dont know what else can i substitute these habits with
So by the end of the day have no good habits i fall back