Daily Entries: ChristianMan's Diary (15 M)

The highest level of hello to all of you extremely beautiful passionate people!!! Welcome to my daily thoughts about life, relationships, PMO, and GOD… And a lot more I just assume those will be the main focus… I feel I have a lot of thoughts and feelings that need to be put down somewhere and I feel I am very good with my words and it would be super beneficial to me and this community for me to share my opinions! And henceforth this diary was created! And here until I feel I no longer need to think about NoFap and live to the highest level in my life, relationships, and reach a level of as much growth as possible in GOD and His word I will update my thoughts!!

Here’s a bit about me:

  • I’m 15!
  • I’m an aspiring singer/songwriter/musician/artist/drawer/painter/author/youtuber/video editor/public speaker/preacher basically I want to do a lot of things lol…
  • I’ve been addicted for like 4-6 years, I’ve never been sure how long it’s actually been…
  • I’m a Christian if that wasn’t clear before lol
  • I love to meet new people and share ideas and mentor and all of that good jazz with other people!! So please feel free to message me here or DM me I would absolutely love to respond!

That’s enough about me for now until I update it again!! I love all of you guys so much and wish you the best of luck on your journey!!

Also notice that I deleted some old posts because I don’t like them… I kept a few because they show the evolution of me and this diary.

Always thank GOD for everything!

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Its really good to see you start this journey at such a young age​:slightly_smiling_face::slightly_smiling_face:. Nothing to add brother, all the best for your upcoming days.

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Porn is difficult to give up because of the fear we’re being deprived of our pleasure or prop. The fear that certain pleasant situations will never be quite the same again. Fear you’ll be left unable to cope with stressful situations. In other words, it’s the effects of brainwashing deluding us into believing that sex – and by extension orgasm – is a must for all human beings. Even further, it’s the belief there’s something inherent in internet porn that we need, and that when we stop using we will be denying ourselves and creating a void.

Make this clear in your mind: Porn doesn’t fill a void, it creates one!

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Bro did you read easy peasy? It really helps the most than any other book for me.

Im on 100 days challengue also, you just gotta convince yourself that you want to be with real girls, not with images that hurt brain and soul.

My best wishes

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‘It’s not about us’ :100::100::100::100::100::white_check_mark::white_check_mark::white_check_mark::white_check_mark::white_check_mark::white_check_mark: NICE MAN.

Also, your editing skills are super awesome

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@prothekter_aden Lol thanks dawg!
20 characters

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Sorry I haven’t checked in for a while!!

Day 1✅
:white_check_mark:Band competition lasted all day
:white_check_mark:Talking with friends
:white_check_mark:Got to talk to this girl I like for a while
:white_check_mark:Got superior ratings on the performance!
:white_check_mark:Had loads of fun!!!

Day 2✅
:white_check_mark:Church 1 1/2 hour
:white_check_mark:Recording video 2 hours
:white_check_mark:Vibing to music
:white_check_mark:Listened to audiobook the easypeasy method
:white_check_mark:2 hour nap
:white_check_mark:Watched a movie

Day 3✅
:white_check_mark: School 7 hours
:white_check_mark: Band 2 1/2 hours
:white_check_mark: Talking with friends
:white_check_mark: Recorded Video
:white_check_mark: Cleaned Room
:white_check_mark: Controlled Urges

Day 4✅
:white_check_mark: I am sick so I stayed home alone today
:white_check_mark: Controlled urges
:white_check_mark: Talking to the girl I like
:white_check_mark: Listened to music and podcasts
:white_check_mark: Recorded Video
:white_check_mark: Listened to very little of easypeasy audiobook
:white_check_mark: Took a long nap
:white_check_mark: Watched a movie

Day 5!!!
:white_check_mark: Today I didn’t have school so I was home with my brother
:white_check_mark:Texting friends
:white_check_mark:Watched some movies
:white_check_mark:Did a little schoolwork
:white_check_mark:Cleaned my room
:white_check_mark:Church

I didn’t do much productive work today but the next few days I will be busy so yay!!! GLORY TO GOD!!!

Day 6✅
:white_check_mark:School 7 hours
:white_check_mark:Pep Rally at school with band
:white_check_mark:Marched in a parade
:white_check_mark:Talking with friends
:white_check_mark:Talked with my crush on the phone for 1 1/2 hr

Day 7✅
:white_check_mark:School 6 hours
:white_check_mark:Today was homecoming so I performed a concert in band
:white_check_mark:Danced with my crush at the homecoming dance so lots of fun there
:white_check_mark:SLEEEEP

Day 8✅
:white_check_mark:Today was a band competition so I was on a bus all day
:white_check_mark:Talking with friends
:white_check_mark:Prayers

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Day 9✅
:white_check_mark:Church 4 hours including youth group activity
:white_check_mark:Texting my crush
:white_check_mark:Talking with friends
:white_check_mark:Listening to music
:white_check_mark:Drawing
:white_check_mark:Prayers

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I like the way you considered this as a habit :slightly_smiling_face: :joy: :joy:

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Yeah I’m just good like that XDDD I didn’t think about it that way, I was just listing stuff I do in the day!!

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Here’s my 10 day progress!!!

Day 1✅
:white_check_mark:Band competition lasted all day
:white_check_mark:Talking with friends
:white_check_mark:Got to talk to this girl I like for a while
:white_check_mark:Got superior ratings on the performance!
:white_check_mark:Had loads of fun!!!

Day 2✅
:white_check_mark:Church 1 1/2 hour
:white_check_mark:Recording video 2 hours
:white_check_mark:Vibing to music
:white_check_mark:Listened to audiobook the easypeasy method
:white_check_mark:2 hour nap
:white_check_mark:Watched a movie

Day 3✅
:white_check_mark: School 7 hours
:white_check_mark: Band 2 1/2 hours
:white_check_mark: Talking with friends
:white_check_mark: Recorded Video
:white_check_mark: Cleaned Room
:white_check_mark: Controlled Urges

Day 4✅
:white_check_mark: I am sick so I stayed home alone today
:white_check_mark: Controlled urges
:white_check_mark: Talking to the girl I like
:white_check_mark: Listened to music and podcasts
:white_check_mark: Recorded Video
:white_check_mark: Listened to very little of easypeasy audiobook
:white_check_mark: Took a long nap
:white_check_mark: Watched a movie

Day 5!!!
:white_check_mark: Today I didn’t have school so I was home with my brother
:white_check_mark:Texting friends
:white_check_mark:Watched some movies
:white_check_mark:Did a little schoolwork
:white_check_mark:Cleaned my room
:white_check_mark:Church

I didn’t do much productive work today but the next few days I will be busy so yay!!! GLORY TO GOD!!!

Day 6✅
:white_check_mark:School 7 hours
:white_check_mark:Pep Rally at school with band
:white_check_mark:Marched in a parade
:white_check_mark:Talking with friends
:white_check_mark:Talked with my crush on the phone for 1 1/2 hr

Day 7✅
:white_check_mark:School 6 hours
:white_check_mark:Today was homecoming so I performed a concert in band
:white_check_mark:Danced with my crush at the homecoming dance so lots of fun there
:white_check_mark:SLEEEEP

Day 8✅
:white_check_mark:Today was a band competition so I was on a bus all day
:white_check_mark:Talking with friends
:white_check_mark:Prayers

Day 9✅
:white_check_mark:Church 4 hours including youth group activity
:white_check_mark:Texting my crush
:white_check_mark:Talking with friends
:white_check_mark:Listening to music
:white_check_mark:Drawing
:white_check_mark:Prayers

Day 10!!!:white_check_mark::white_check_mark::white_check_mark::white_check_mark::white_check_mark::white_check_mark:
:white_check_mark:School 7 Hours
:white_check_mark:Band 2 hours
:white_check_mark:My parents are divorced and I got to see my dad today which is great because I see him like twice a year!!!
:white_check_mark:Watched my siblings play sports
:white_check_mark:Talking to friends and family
:white_check_mark:Jamming out to music
:white_check_mark:Prepared for the next day
:white_check_mark:Went to bed before 10:30

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Day 11 having some issues with fantasizing and controlling my eyes… I might reset my counter if I keep doing this…

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It’s day 14… I’m struggling big time… I almost gave in a minute ago… Here’s the scary thing… Yesterday I gave up… And I intended to relapse… This was in the middle of school so I was just going to wait… But given about an hour or two I changed my mind… I wasn’t going to give up what I worked so hard to get!! And today I had a pretty tough urge too… But I looked out my window and I pulled up a picture of the girl I brought to homecoming (Not in a creepy way we just took a picture together lol) and I really thought hard about what I would be giving up… And they are both such beautiful things… both created by an AMAZING GOD!!! And Ive decided to keep going… And tomorrow I’ll keep going… Until I can tackle urges I will keep pushing one more day… I control my life… And I’m keeping it that way… GOD bless you all!!! Take back your life… And once you have… It’s up to you to choose what you do with it. Choose wisely… #nofap

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Day 14✅ I’ve noticed the first actual burst of energy since I started NoFap and it felt great!!! I sat down and I talked with my mom about my spirituality and learned a lot last night… I’m realizing with every passing day how badly I don’t need this… I don’t need some pictures of women to live!! How bout I actually go outside, or talk with friends, or sit down and pray, or draw, or research, record videos, podcasts, make new friends, go on dates!!!
Like dude I’m living my life to such a great extent right now!! And I can assure you that I’m not going back to PMO ever again!!

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Hi bro, iam really happy to see you taking the path of nofap at such young age, good luck, I believe you will be free in no time.

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I relapsed at the end of day 14 :x::x: I’ve been in chaser effect since then… I’m dying… Addition is so fricken strong… (edit) basically I gave in for no reason, like an urge hit me and I was just like ok sure! Very strange but I’m keeping an eye out for stuff like this!)

Be more vocal, friend, voice your thoughts! If you don’t meet them out, you won’t know yourself what is really going on! Maybe it’s just some particular thought you have that stops you?

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I’ve just been giving in to urges so they will leave me alone… It hasn’t really affected me when I relapsed physically or emotionally… The only powerful thing is the urges… So I just give in mindlessly so I can go on about my day… I want to quit objectifying women… But ever since the relapse after 14 days I haven’t felt any negativity towards PMO… I don’t see the hate that I used to see in it… All I see is pleasure now… I don’t know what happened…

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If you don’t mind me cutting in here @ChristianMan , I want to remind you about something. What I will write may seem triggering, but give it a closer thought and be honest with yourself what you think about it. Caution for everyone reading this!

You might have or used to have a friend who happens to be a woman. If not, you can even think about someone from your family.

First, you might want to ask yourself if you’d like to see this person in porn. If you wouldn’t, ask yourself why? Is it because porn takes away her dignity, or is it because of what she would have to go through to break herself and get into this business? Or maybe because porn takes away human person parts of her and leaves only the things that you lust for, making it all more of an animal activity rather than a way a human would think?

Now guess what, all these women in porn are people, real world people that you might meet and talk to and, who knows, have friendship with. If you had this kind of relationship, would you still like to see them in such setting?

For me it’s a question of whether I agree with me seeing women as sexual objects (not happy about it) or people with whom I can have relations both close and far and, if it happens, feel attraction to more than their body, but minds, souls and all that make them human.

Maybe this point of view will help you, friend, get back on track!

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Alright baby back on track!! Day 2 coming up✅
I wanna say a special thanks to @CarryOn @DarkViolin @DARSHAN2017 and @Fibonaccisequence for getting me back on track!! Going back and reading yalls messages to me helped me get out of a relapse today :smiley: you guys are awesome!!

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