Consuming Guilt

#1

Hi… I need advice…
When me and my boyfriend we’re getting to know eachother, but we were not yet boyfriend/girlfriend, I went to a cam site and masturbated with a stranger…
Now i’m consumed by guilt for that one night that I don’t even remember because it was like 4 months ago…
Is this cheating? Should I tell my boyfriend about it? I REALLY rwally dont wanna hurt him and I know that it will never happen again

#2

How do you know it will never happen again? I made myself many promises to never at porn again but I did. If you continue to do this you need to tell him.

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#3

I won’t continue to do this… I know it… I havent done it for months now… And i wont come back… Period

#4

Well that’s good if you don’t. The trouble is many people make promises to themselves and end up breaking such promises, but it sound good that it been months since you’ve been on the site.

I’d say if it’s truly in your past and it won’t be an issue in the future there’s no need to tell him. Best not to dwell on the past. If you ever find yourself thinking about the past say to yourself, ‘Oh that is what I did in the past’ and then bring yourself back to the present. It’s important to be present. Far too often we feel guilty about the past or worry about the future but all have is the here and now. We can’t change the past so it’s a waste of energy to feel guilty about it. Being present isn’t an easy thing to do but that is the only way to stop feeling guilty about the past. It’s not easy but if we practise remaining present we will get better at it.

#5

It’s just that I feel like I cheated on him… I can’t stand that thoug

#6

You only cheat your bf.
How about me?
Messing up my family, embarrassing myself and my family in public, and making everything complicated.
Yet I can move on because I’ve learnt my lessons and I will make a comeback/retribution.

#7

Chill out. You were not cheating.
Be honest with yourself firstly.
You’ve struggled with sexual desire, right?
And that is okay.

Once you are honest with yourself,
Be free,
And be free to be honest with your BF about everything.

Please don’t feel guilty. You are normal and trying to be the best Version of yourself.

Please always be honest and humble.

(sometimes you don’t need to go into details, the big picture is more important - you feel like a sinner, and want to be an awesome loving person, right?) you’re not alone x

#8

Still… I wanna marry him someday… I dont want this to get in the way

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#9

I told him about the things i used to do… But i forgot to tell him that i did it one time when we were togheter… I don’t wanna lie to him, or keep things from him… But I’m so scared to tell him, and ashamed

#10

It could be considered cheating if you did it while with him but you weren’t with him. Like I said it’s important to remain present. This video might help you to stay present. Practising meditating and praying might be helpful as well.

#11

We weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend but we still kissed and held hands

#12

i can relate to how you feel.
cam sites are the last thing that still makes me relapse even though i’m ib a relationship.
i told my girlfriend.

so, our opinion: porn is a valve for my negative feelings and problems. i’m not watching poen because i don’t like my girlfriend. it has nothing to do with desire to love another girl /in your case man.

since it is selfmedication like drugs and alcohol we don’t consider it cheating

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#13

Okay… I think I’m ginna tell him…

#14

If it’s causing you so much worry, then you need to deal with it. Otherwise it will grow a wedge in your relationship. If he had done the same thing to you, how would you feel?

#15

How’d the talk with your boyfriend go?

#16

Mmm… Idk…
He said he needed some time to think…
The only thing I know is that he said he wasnt gonna breeak up with me

#17

@caritogap he might be hurt :broken_heart:from it, that probably why he wants to think about it. His body language will tell you if he is okay with you.

We all make mistakes. Maybe it’s better it happened early in the relationship. Atleast you shouldn’t feel guilty about it any more. Hope things get better for you and him.

#18

Btw I’m a guy and I look for GF not BF

#19

Everything is okay now, we’re okay, we talked things out and everything is fine c:

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