Confusing Relapse

I have relapsed on day 14. I fought my urges successfully till now but how all this led to a relapse is pretty confusing. I seriously need some help pls. Basically I’ll summarize below:-

Main cause- Sleeping in the afternoon, increased heartbeat and fear of relapse, contradicting internal conversation.

Main triggers- feeling of failing in doing something, losing control, playing too much video games, excess digital time.

There was a point after day 7 when urges became absolutely controllable but today after day 14, I wasnt able to control them long enough. It lasted for 6 hrs and i was fatigued. First I worked out, disconnected myself from phone, read my holy book and even played guitar. The urge did not go. After all that, i felt extremely tired and slept during the afternoon. I couldnt sleep and my heart was racing. The urges kept on hitting harder, and then out of aggression, i went to the washroom and relapsed. After the relapse, I do feel depressed but im not able to analyse my mistakes. My routine is pretty solid and I was pretty happy with the journey so far. Im not married and dont have a gf. If anyone able to point out what i should work on, it would be extremely helpful. Pls let me know where I went wrong.

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What I have noticed in my case is that it’s very important to follow a fixed schedule to make a big streak … I always struggle with my schedule and similar case is with you also I think … So it’s very important to make a schedule and try to follow it everyday … Being DISCIPLINED is very important on nofap …btw I’m also struggling with my schedule , and trying to be disciplined :sweat_smile::sweat_smile:

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I think I get what’s wrong here @alphadude , I used to make the same kind of mistake, but for me I realized that it was just my mind playing tricks on me, between day 10-15 we like like shit, withdrawal symptoms hit hard and addicted part of the brain says ah you haven’t PMOed in a while and see what is happening to you let’s do it. But you need to understand it’s completely other way round, this type of feeling is a withdrawal symptom and it is because of the last PMO session, if you indulge in a session again the same feeling with hit you with higher intensity next time, the day I realized this (after reading easy peasy) it became quite easy to pass through that phase. Don’t know if you have exactly the same problem but I think you might, that’s why I shared this.

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I wish you the best guys… Leaving this forum permanently… Good luck on your journey

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Thank you very much. Ive actually started my journey again and started reading the book EasyPeasy. It focusses in removing the brainwash and avoids the usage of the willpower strategy. Thats a really great advice on just noticing the urges and let it pass by. I’ll also work on building some anxiety reducing habits as well.

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You can try this when heartbeat increases… It helps calm your body down…

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I had the exact same problems leading to relapse on Day 10. Had strong urges after Day 7. On Day 10, I slept afternoon making me awake late night. I was all alone, the urges really strong, my brain working hard to lead me into relapse, I had the toughest internal argument with my brain on ‘why to not relapse’. Eventually, the conflicting thoughts becoming strong, I developed palpitations. Fearing and unaware about such a withdrawal symptom, I relapsed eventually.

Then, the next day only I knew that ‘palpitation’ is just a withdrawal symptom and it will fade out after sometimes, when I stop thinking about the urges. So now being aware of such withdrawal symptoms, I’m ready to face it now with more knowledge and relatively more experience than the last time around.

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Yeah, true. I’m on day 11 today. Urges were hitting quite hard back then. But I read an important topic in the Qur’an that it’s mandatory for muslims to safeguard their chastity until they get married. This provided lot of relief, and removed all sorts of conflicts in my mind. Now I pray regularly and focus on my building habits like studying atleast 8 hrs daily.

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